Parenting failures.

MO - how condescending are you ?
At the time these incidents were far from entertaining for anyone, the fact that all turned out well does not detract from the horror we all felt and still recall at times.

I thought this thread was meant to be about parental failures. I am still waiting to read one.

Lots of entertaining stories about doing things that would not be considered a safe thing to do nowadays. But parental failures?

A parental failure is surely something you did that ruined a child's opportunity in life or caused them lasting harm.

jane It doesn't bear thinking about now.

My mum left me in my pram outside a shop in our local market. It was quite commonplace at the time (1950s) to do this and there were several other prams with babies in them to keep me company. When she came out, pram and baby were gone! Cue police search, lunchtime appeal broadcast on the radio and several hours of heartache for my parents (Dad was called home from work). I was finally found in the City a few miles away - young girl and her brother had wheeled me off. They told the police officer who spotted them that I was their brother. Mum never forget that feeling when she came out of the shop, and never left me outside again. I still have the newspaper reports to this day.

When DD was 18 months old she went from "No she sounds fine" (telephone call from Dr I had never met) to "The consultant is rather worried and came in at midnight" (hospital nurse) At that point DH and I both went down with flu and weren't allowed to visit her. A week later DH went to collect her while I sat at home wondering what terrible psychological damage we had done by abandoning her in hospital. Then she walked into the house as if nothing had happened, was quite pleased to see me and just carried on as normal. Apparently I hadn't been the awful mother I thought I had.

My children were very near in age. I had to use buses, once when unfolding the buggy after getting off the bus and putting the baby in, the doors suddenly closed with one child on the step inside the bus, the driver not realising set off. I had to quickly get across a very busy roundabout and run to the next bus stop. pushing the buggy.
Luckily a woman had realised what had happened and grabbed the one on the bus and held her telling the driver. Never again did I get off a bus in that way I got a smaller buggy that hung on my arm and all three of us plus buggy got off together. I still come out in a sweat when thinking about it she could have jumped after me from a moving bus or been caught in the doors or if the next bus stop had been a long way away stay with complete strangers.

When I was about 10, my friend and me used to knock on doors where we knew there was a baby and ask if we could take the baby to the park! Some of the mums had never seen us before but put the babies in the prams and off we went. Can you imagine?

Kate I was that baby. Though the 10 year-old who took me out was in my Dad's class at the local primary school
I used to visit Lois and her parents for some years after that.

I will consult my children on this - they will, I am sure, have a list!

Fortunately no. With eyes at the back of my head and always on the ball at all times ( drove myself crazy ) there were never any mishaps probably because I had 4 young children to see to, a baby, toddler and two young step-children who I'd felt more responsible for than my own.

When I was about 10, my friend and me used to knock on doors where we knew there was a baby and ask if we could take the baby to the park! Some of the mums had never seen us before but put the babies in the prams and off we went. Can you imagine?

Not a parent fail, more a brother one. Daughter had gone to visit brother who is 5 years older and working in London. She was about 16,before mobile phones.He decided to show her round and went to get the tube.She got on but he didn't and the train left. I think she got off at the next stop in hysterics but they were eventually reunited.

TeacherAnne that has made me laugh! can you remember all the babies and toddlers we had to look after when playing out? and the babysitting of kids of an evening when still a child yourself

One thing that often gets brought up at family holidays is my parents failure. When I was 19 and at university in Sheffield, my parents sent my sister, age 7, on the train from Manchester on her own. I met her at the other end but really, a seven year old?

Same here GrannyG.
The first of many was taking son( then about 3 weeks old ) and dog across the park to a local shop. Tied dog up on a railing, took pram around shop, came out untied dog and off we went.
Dog kept stopping and eventually refused to move, we were halfway home at this point. You can guess what I had forgotten. !!

If we are comparing parenting of yesteryear with today, far too many.

Omg Juliet! Yes the adrenaline is unreal. I could see the arrows going up thinking, I hope he doesn't get out on the top floor and wander off. Luckily we both just inconvenienced other women

When they were teenagers, my two sons joined the local sports club where they played tennis, hockey, cricket and, in the evening, were able to play snooker and darts. I assumed that they would be safely under the supervision of responsible adults. Thirty years later, I am regaled with tales of under-age drinking and my younger son being the club champion at downing a pint of ale in the shortest time. How they ever grew up to be, themselves, responsible parents, I can't imagine. I don't think I was the greatest role model and my ex had walked out when they were just young teenagers and wasn't around.

I had a lift experience too JaneJ I got in a multistorey car park lift and the doors shut quickly before my 3 year old son got in. The guy already in there had pressed the button and we moved up....then there was a power cut. I was frantically pressing buttons but luckily a woman called out ‘I’ve got your son ok’ and the power came back after a short while. It was a bit of a scary experience - more for me than my son!

Well thank you NotSpaghetti. I come out in a hot sweat when I think about it. I had her when I was 19 and did my best as we all did.

Kate - at 8 lots of children caught busses alone years ago.

I don't think this was a failure.

I know people who were put on trains with a trunk at 8 as they went off to boarding school. I crossed London at 9 or 10. It was a different time.

lemsip

How crass to bring the McCanns up on here. Haven't they suffered enough?

?

I was going through a very nasty divorce my then husband was allowed limited visitation rights. We had been to family court because of his behaviour. He had taken the children to a pub and drove afterwards. The next time he took them out my children told me he smashed into a car.
I decided against the solicitor and court order he was not going to see them again. I should have done it earlier but at the time I was intimidated by him.

When our DD was about 8, my friend who used to look after her in the school holidays while I was working, moved to another county. We were desperately short of money and I had to work.
My sister-in-law offered to have DD and, as we didn't have a car, I put DD on a bus by herself and my sister-in-law met her at the other end. I feel sick at the thought now.
Our daughter would never have done that with her own daughter. I can't believe I did that.

I’m not sure it’s helpful to torture ourselves with these retrospective ‘failures’.
I’m not going to bore everyone with mine. Regrets maybe but not failures.
But I’m sure that we all did our best at the time and subsequent, once in a thousand years occurrences like the abduction of Madeleine McCann shouldn’t alter our perception of how we brought up our children.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=qQzdAsjWGPg

How crass to bring the McCanns up on here. Haven't they suffered enough?