Gransnet forums

Things you decided not to post but on reflection wished you had

(39 Posts)
boat Thu 14-Mar-19 16:45:23

Sometimes I start typing a response to a post and then decide not to go ahead, perhaps because things have already become heated and I don't want to start people screaming at each other.

Am I a coward? If I had continued would I have changed anything? Global Warming? Brexit? PIP Assessments?

Would Sociologists/Economists etc be looking back 20 years from now saying, "That was the pivotal moment"?

I doubt it for me but a lot of GNs have brilliant ideas. Give them an airing

M0nica Thu 14-Mar-19 16:48:25

I do this so often, I cannot remember what they all are. Usually I draw back because I know the post will only make a bad situation on a thread worse, other times is because it is too revealing or too personal.

RosieLeah Thu 14-Mar-19 16:53:42

At least when you are writing a post, you can change your mind and cancel it. How many times do we wish we could do that when speaking?

EllanVannin Thu 14-Mar-19 17:27:50

I've held back a few times for some of the reasons already mentioned.

Poppyred Thu 14-Mar-19 17:28:33

I do it all the time! Lol

Have had my head bitten off here once by the old faithfull who all stuck together and I felt as if I was back in school being bullied - so now just read the responses mostly.

muffinthemoo Thu 14-Mar-19 17:34:02

Hold my beer

Cherrytree59 Thu 14-Mar-19 17:42:19

After I click preview and read my post back, I do sometimes decide because some of the reasons mentioned above, not to post

The preview option does give a chance for posters to pause and consider before pressing post .

boat Thu 14-Mar-19 17:43:03

Not sure about that muffinthemoon but interested.

boat Thu 14-Mar-19 17:44:49

Sorry about the extra n. It's a bit late.

MissAdventure Thu 14-Mar-19 17:46:11

I did it just now, regarding people thinking that someone who is not exactly like them must be on a 'wind up'.
I wrote it, then discarded it.

aggie Thu 14-Mar-19 18:11:24

I sometimes wish I hadn't posted , I am more circumspect now . I wish I could ask for advice sometimes but don't want it in the social media in case I am recognised

Ilovecheese Thu 14-Mar-19 18:18:52

I remember that thread poppyred I regret not posting in your defence.

Poppyred Thu 14-Mar-19 18:50:39

Thank you Ilovecheese, much appreciated.

sodapop Thu 14-Mar-19 19:10:04

I sometimes wish I had posted, but probably best to stay quiet my comments can be brusque.
Politics are not my strong point so I keep away when things get serious.

Jalima1108 Thu 14-Mar-19 19:55:33

Sometimes it can make you feel better to type out a post, even if you end up deleting it.

and, like aggie , I sometimes think, why did I post that?

Nanabilly Thu 14-Mar-19 20:15:06

Often .mostly because my post could be misread in some way . I can't remember many examples as there are too many but one particular thread that's running at the moment that we are not sure is genuine or not is one where I could have replied but have avoided.

jenpax Thu 14-Mar-19 20:23:56

I have held back if I thought that a response or post might make my situation or problem public. I am aware that posts appear on face book and Mumsnet so that several huge worries I have and for which it might have helped to gain others opinions, have not seen the light of day due to a fear of them becoming known to family or friends! I am sure I am not alone with this one

grannyactivist Thu 14-Mar-19 20:57:49

I write and delete posts all the time. I often get things off my chest that are bothering me (usually about how people are being badly treated) and then realise I don't actually need to inflict my angst on others. I recently wrote one such post after a very frustrating day when I was really upset and I did post it - and lovely Gransnetters saw it for what it was and were very kindly in their responses. smile

MissAdventure Thu 14-Mar-19 21:03:13

I'm sure I've written enough to oust myself, if anyone was that interested.
What worries me is that other people may recognise themselves or their family.
I would hate to write details of other peoples' lives where they might offend or upset.

rosecarmel Thu 14-Mar-19 21:56:42

When Netflix raised their price, yet again, I canceled- When Hulu charged my card after I had canceled, I sought a refund and received it- When Walmart refused to refund my credit card but issued a gift card instead, I stopped shopping at Walmart- In short, I no longer approach such situations passively, but instead take action and be persistent- No need to be mean, simply persistent- Amazon repeatedly delivered my parcels to a neighbor- I don't pay my neighbor to deliver the packages to me, I pay Amazon- I received gift cards for the inconvenience as well as refunds for the cost of my items- They now deliver the packages correctly- Facebook exploited its members by way of sharing their personal information, including personal conversations via messages and Messenger- Our environment is dying- We can work together to make changes that benefit every living thing, and do so peacefully- It's possible- But one needs to speak up and take action-

Bathsheba Thu 14-Mar-19 22:16:21

An interesting post rosecarmel and one I'm sure many of us can relate to. But I'm puzzled as to its relevance to this thread 🤔

And I nearly didn't post this....

Jomarie Thu 14-Mar-19 22:26:14

In reply to the OP - all the time - too numerous to detail here. Discretion is a lost art for so many nowadays.

rosecarmel Thu 14-Mar-19 22:37:40

Bathsheba I'm glad you did decide to post- smile

My effort was to touch on some subjects that can sometimes cause one to pause prior to hitting the Post Message button- Or delete completely- Like injustice, politics, so forth-

Sometimes, I think, it's worth saving the message, setting it aside and then rewriting it if it needs to be toned down- Especially if it's truly a subject that is in need of attention and/or consideration-

It feels good to type something just to get it off my chest then hit delete- But as luck would have it, the subject presents itself again, providing me with yet another opportunity to share what I'm thinking .. smile

Grammaretto Thu 14-Mar-19 23:05:42

I agree Jalima that it can be therapeutic just to write it down. Then I preview it and often don't post. I don't think it's wasted if you have worked through an idea.
Then someone else writes just what you were thinking but clearly and succinct.

ginny Fri 15-Mar-19 00:26:37

I often hold back from posting. Mainly because I know exactly what to say in my head but by the time it gets to my fingers it sounds all wrong