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Ideas for doing a “turn”

(20 Posts)
Stoker48 Thu 17-Oct-19 16:15:05

I belong to a smallish music group (30/40 people).
In December we have our annual get together and meal. There’s an opportunity to get up a do a “ turn”. It doesn’t have to be musical or even seasonal, just shortish and good humored.
Last year I read out a very funny poem, circa 1970, about the office Xmas party.
I’d like to participate again.
Any suggestions?
Thank you in advance. Thank the

rubysong Thu 17-Oct-19 17:07:09

I have sometimes done monologues when necessary. There is one about "how to give a cat a pill" which is funny. Also a piece about packing to go away for the weekend.

JessK Thu 17-Oct-19 18:00:25

Pam Ayres has written some very funny poems you can find a lot of them online.

BradfordLass72 Fri 18-Oct-19 08:07:26

I could write you a poem or short script; I used to write comedy skits for the telly.

Last Christmas our elders group did a skit based on the 12 days of Christmas.
There were 12 of us but it could easily be done by one with a few amendments.

Or write new words to a familair Xmas song:

Silent Night
Uncle is tight
Drank the gin
Did him in....etc.

Feel free to PM me.

vickya Fri 18-Oct-19 11:14:43

I went to a party with a similar group years ago and did a monologue by Joyce Grenfell. I did First Flight but there are lots.

RomyP Fri 18-Oct-19 11:36:20

I'm with JessK, Pam Ayres' poems are ideal for that setting. Good luck with doing your turn.

eGJ Fri 18-Oct-19 11:40:56

John Julius Norwich has written the correspondence between Emily and the person who sent here all those Twelve Days of Christmas gifts. Good with two voices, but works with one!
www.monologues.co.uk/Parodies/Twelve_Days_Correspondence.htm

OR
King John's Christmas by A A Milne goes down well (yes with an adult audience!)

KatyK Fri 18-Oct-19 11:47:49

Oh yes Pam Ayres poems are very funny. I particularly like one entitled 'Just ask my Husband' or something similar.

Stoker48 Fri 18-Oct-19 11:51:02

Well, what lovely people you are..... and BL72, that was a very thoughtful offer. Can I file it in my memory bank, I’m sure there’s another event in the offing. Brilliant idea to tweak an existing song smile
I checked out all your suggestions and Pam Ayres googling eventually led me to a poem Fifty Shades of Grey from a husbands perspective. It’s very funny .... slightly risqué. There’s a four letter word “ti-s” in it and I’m wondering if would offend sensitive ears. I hope not as they are a raucous lot ....
If I took the word out, it wouldn’t rhymne with the previous line “.....bit”.
Anyway, thanks again, big help xxxxx

KatyK Fri 18-Oct-19 11:51:04

It's actually 'They should have asked my husband'

Kartush Fri 18-Oct-19 12:31:07

According to google Pam Ayres did not write the fifty shades of grey poem, some man did. I am not sure that I personally would ever read this poem in public

Anthea1948 Fri 18-Oct-19 12:46:34

How about a piece of Joyce Grenfell's writing?

Saggi Fri 18-Oct-19 13:18:01

Go to book....Pam Ayres...especially her one about looking after your teeth. Wish I’d listened!!

GreenGran78 Fri 18-Oct-19 13:49:16

If you want something to sing, my 'party piece' is "The Alto's Lament", which is very amusing.

trisher Fri 18-Oct-19 15:06:05

I always like Stanley Holloway's monologues particularly The Lion and Albert. If you wanted a funny song one of Flanders and Swann like The Gas Man Cometh.

TommyWolf Fri 18-Oct-19 18:26:08

You won’t go wrong with Albert and The Lion. Tommy

midgey Fri 18-Oct-19 18:30:50

The song- Ma baibie ‘as gorn darn the plug ole. A great favourite of mine!

midgey Fri 18-Oct-19 18:32:13

m.youtube.com/watch?v=mDE1ZvvHVVg In case you don’t know it!

Ashcombe Sat 19-Oct-19 07:15:09

This poem might amuse:-

socialsciences.exeter.ac.uk/media/universityofexeter/collegeofsocialsciencesandinternationalstudies/education/research/centres/writing/teacherresources/poetry/3.1_ChristmasThankYous.doc

Lucca Sat 19-Oct-19 12:20:23

I was on a cruise when we had a talent evening and my friend said “right if anyone does Albert and the lion I’m off”. It was the very first turn😱