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Platonic housework

(10 Posts)
Angela59 Sat 06-Jun-20 17:24:21

Since moving to my cul de sac two years ago I have become very good platonic friends with a single grand mother neighbour she’s 62 and I’m 29. She’s a lovely unjudgemental lady who’s accepting of my effeminate nature and ways who’s been there for me with a listening ear and advice through out some very difficult times personally as I have for her recently with her. I recently opened up to her about my cross dressing and other things. Like always she was great even offering to go shopping with me to buy delicate items.
I told her recently about a man ex female colleague who I was friendly with and would let me dress up and I did housework for occasionally. Initially she was surprised and giggled, after a while though she said hey,,, anytime you want to do that here feel free!
But she hasn’t mentioned it since,,

I’d love to help her with housework and stuff and be myself in a private environment but don’t know how I should bring it up with her being still slightly embarrassed about my confession. How can I approach this with her?

Naty Sat 06-Jun-20 18:30:15

This is weird. Are you into fetishizing this relationship?

Maybe "be yourself" in your own environment...invite her over for dinner or lunch or just have a coffee outside in the open air and dress how you like.

But don't be creepy about it or you'll never see her again.

Angela59 Sun 07-Jun-20 09:59:52

I’m sorry you think this is weird, maybe I shouldn’t have publicised things like this.
However the motivation was entirely about upsetting a precious kind friend.

Elegran Sun 07-Jun-20 10:16:26

There is nothing to stop you wearing whatever you like. Your friend knows about your cross-dressing , so it would probably be no great surprise if you turned up to help her with the chores in a housemaid's black dress and white cap and apron, or a charlady's crossover pinny and headsquare.

The question you should be asking is - Are you really concerned to help her? If you are, then you shouldn't have any problem asking if she needs a hand with the housework. Once that is established, you can ask about the dress code.

However, if what you are really looking for is a chance to put on your glad rags and pose, you should be considering whether you are exploiting her for your own purposes. Only you know which it is.

There is a third possibility too - that this is a fantasy of yours, which you are airing on Gransnet to get reactions from (presumably shockable) older ladies. Consider too whether it could be exploiting Gransnet posters - a kind of virtual indecent exposure?

Galaxy Sun 07-Jun-20 10:17:15

It's the latter.

Elegran Sun 07-Jun-20 10:18:00

Second or third option?

ninathenana Sun 07-Jun-20 10:54:59

Elegran good post. You have summed up my thoughts.

Galaxy your opinion not fact.

Naty Sun 07-Jun-20 18:52:13

Yes, maybe writing out this fantasy for reactions is what you wanted? Don't use your friend for pleasure. But be yourself!
If you are genuine, go for it!

Angela59 Fri 12-Jun-20 04:35:32

Well Thankyou all
She was fine x

grandtanteJE65 Sun 14-Jun-20 12:56:13

Ask her if she would like help.

If she says yes, ask if she would mind if you came in the clothes you feel most comfortable in,