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Running The gift shop gauntlet!!

(118 Posts)
Lizbethann55 Sun 26-Sep-21 17:58:26

My darling GD is 5, nearly 6. She is bright, clever, articulate but definitely knows her own mind and can be very determined and self willed. Her DPs ( my DD and SiL) are great parents. They are always doing things with their 2 DC, taking them out and giving them experiences. They also have full on NHS jobs and are really tired. The problem is that so many of the places they take them have the dreaded gift shop attached and it is often on the way out. This has become a real battle ground between my DD and DGD . It has spoilt many a day out for them as my DGD is not averse to throwing a real tantrum and having a total melt down if she can't have what she wants, which is invariably yet another cuddly toy (she has hundreds!). My DD is equally determined and self willed and reluctant to give way. And of course, by the end of any day out both mother and child are over tired and grumpy. Making "deals" before entering the dreaded shops , "you can have anything except a cuddly toy" don't seem to work. Have any of you found a way of running the gift shop gauntlet successfully?

eGJ Sun 26-Sep-21 18:02:52

Yes! My GCs always chant as they go into the gift shop area “GRANNY’S NOT MADE OF MONEY “. I only had to say it on two occasions and 10 years later they always chorus it😀

Zoejory Sun 26-Sep-21 18:07:34

Oh the Gift Shop is what we all look forward to! Great fun having a look at all the bits and bobs and you can usually find something reasonably priced

One of my Grandson has a shelf dedicated to his Gift Shop Purchases. Ranging from a ruler, compass, small Corgi and other vital requisites

Chardy Sun 26-Sep-21 18:12:12

Give her a fiver and tell her she can buy what she wants

GrannySomerset Sun 26-Sep-21 18:20:35

Chardy is absolutely right, and any child worth her salt will soon work out what is worth spending real money on and what isn’t. Though stingy me thinks a fiver is on the generous side! Also works well with theme parks and anywhere where rides are expensive, meaning that a child will have to choose what to go on rather than assume that everything is an option.

Septimia Sun 26-Sep-21 18:40:47

I agree with Chardy too. We don't see our GD very often, so put small change away over the year. When she comes we count it and give it to her as pocket money to spend when we go out.

eazybee Sun 26-Sep-21 18:46:29

Say No.

NotSpaghetti Sun 26-Sep-21 19:01:51

Just say no.
If necessary at 5 you can still pick them up and march through to the car!
She needs to learn that no means no and I'm with your daughter on this one.

One of my boys made deals and went back on them. It wasn't quite so tricky to deal with as it was when we were buying gifts for friends' birthdays in the local toy shop. It's very disappointing though and at 5 they know what's what.

Grit your teeth! All things will pass!

grannyactivist Sun 26-Sep-21 19:05:45

When my children were young they were allowed to express an interest in things they saw in shops, but were not allowed to ask for anything - I think it teaches children to pester. I have the same rule for my grandchildren, but one of them has real difficulty with this. He’s old enough to know better, but still tries it on - and the result is that he has missed out on things I might have bought for him. I’ve told him repeatedly that asking me to buy something for him is rude and a guarantee that I won’t, and last summer he finally seemed to have worked out that I mean what I say. Instead he says things like, “I really like such and such, but I’m not going to ask you to buy it for me because then you definitely won’t.”

This same grandchild differentiates between me and his other granny by describing me as the ‘strict granny’, but happily still loves to come and stay. (And I do buy him treats throughout the year - just not usually when we’re out shopping. 😅)

Grammaretto Sun 26-Sep-21 19:23:02

One thing each only and an ice-cream is my mantra and usually the gift shops, especially in the places I take them to, have some nice things amongst the tat
They are biddable enough to steer them towards what I can spend and I am not averse to saying granny cannot afford that today
These are the DGC I see only a few times a year. Good luck to you who have this all the time.

Sago Sun 26-Sep-21 19:44:20

I dread the gift shop too.
We strike a deal beforehand.
I take a little treat that she can have when we get in the car afterwards, just a few sweets does the trick.

NotSpaghetti Sun 26-Sep-21 20:34:37

Sago you are lucky there!
I had to have the steely determination of the OP's daughter with one of my 5. He did learn eventually and even then was actually a kind and generous child.. but toy shops were just too much temptation!
grin

Nonogran Sun 26-Sep-21 20:51:18

Who is the parent here? It’s ok for parents to say NO and walk away. Leave the kid to it’s tantrum and walk on.
The child will soon learn.

grannypiper Sun 26-Sep-21 20:59:31

My Grandson has a major tantrum when told by his parents that he can't visit the gift shop yet when i say no he shrugs and reply's okay. He knows he will never step inside the gift shop with me.

Calendargirl Mon 27-Sep-21 07:18:40

yet another cuddly toy, she has hundreds

Where do all these cuddly toys end up, the local charity shop?
What a waste of money. Cannot recall my children pestering for stuff as
they knew it would be a waste of time. Ditto GC.

Why are parents and GP so weak and wishy washy, are they all so desperate not to upset the children they feel obliged to give in to every demand and tantrum?

Really storing up trouble for the future.

Hetty58 Mon 27-Sep-21 07:47:36

When my four were small - we avoided the gift shop, or rushed through to the exit. I'd always take a little treat for them to have when we left!

nanna8 Mon 27-Sep-21 08:19:47

Never had that problem I have to say. All my grandchildren are far too polite to even think of asking for anything . Problem is more getting them to say what they would like. Maybe there aren’t so many shops like that here ?

Whatdayisit Mon 27-Sep-21 09:12:02

My mantra is the day out is the treat.
Everything adds up and mostly I don't have money for the unnecessary extras. I am a member of NT and EH costing nearly £20 per month plus your petrol to get there and picnics. Just not doable to buy extras.
Sometimes buy something like a bookmark from Hilltop or a pencil from Cragside. But not if it's just going to be left as soon as they get home. Just a firm no.

sodapop Mon 27-Sep-21 09:25:28

How is it that the word 'No' is so difficult for some parents to say and mean and for some children to understand. You have to be firm and consistent, no good giving in to tantrums however embarrassing it may be at the time.

MerylStreep Mon 27-Sep-21 09:25:58

Calendargirl
where do all these cuddly toys end up, charity shops
Yes!!! If they are very good ( with a label) we try to sell them.
But, the majority aren’t. So, we have to dump them in our skip.
Skips aren’t free, we have to pay for them.
Our skip is filled before the end of the week. We have been in the situation where, I, and other volunteers havre taken said donated crap to our local council tip 😡

VioletSky Mon 27-Sep-21 09:26:25

My eldest was toy cars in the supermarket, they used to hang down all the aisles. We must have had well over 100 of them and the crafty supermarket obviously made sure there were always new and different ones in stock.

This was my won downfall though, I made the rod for my back there when I said yes the first time. I should have handled it differently but 5 children later I still haven't got the hang of it. They just all grew out of it and none are spoiled or entitled now.

I actually think it is wrong that a lot of places have the gift shop on the way out because it is designed to take advantage of children in this natural phase. No wonder they blow up.

Anyway, she will get past it eventually and I'm sure for right now every single one of those teddies are precious.

Smileless2012 Mon 27-Sep-21 09:35:09

FWIW I admire your D for sticking to her guns and not giving in to your GD's temper tantrums Lizbethann.

My advice is to take her firmly by the hand and walk quickly through the gift shop before she has the chance to find something she wants.

Knowing that we can't always have what we want, when we want it is one of life's lessons after all.

Lucca Mon 27-Sep-21 09:44:49

My granddaughter also a bit obsessed with cuddly toys.
She got one from what they call the tip shop. A great idea

Nell8 Mon 27-Sep-21 10:01:55

I love gift shops and do tend to fritter cash on the same old bars of soap, jars of chutney, scarves etc. If DH is with me he gets very close and herds me at a trot straight through and out the other side muttering "C'mon, c'mon ... I've got to get home, I'm starving." I'll have to practise this with our GD before she's old enough to discover the joys of browsing.

NotSpaghetti Mon 27-Sep-21 10:03:38

sodapop and others, this parent obviously IS saying "no" and doing so again and again.

I know it took months to get "no" through to one of mine if in a toy shop. It's not always that a very firm "no" is easily swallowed!
I was pretty firm with my five but one of them was a "one-off"!