Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Do you still share your DH / OH interests or hobbies?

(29 Posts)
Bakingmad0203 Sat 25-Jun-22 13:16:45

I’ve recently joined a walking group and was surprised how many couples there were who have been walking together for years, some of them met on walking holidays.

This started me wondering about how many Gransnetters met their partners through a common hobby or interest, what it was and do you still do it?

Callistemon21 Sat 25-Jun-22 13:45:43

I'm always surprised at the couples at U3A in the same groups and with exactly the same interests.

We do a lot together but we're not joined at the hip.

JaneJudge Sat 25-Jun-22 13:47:10

We are quite different

Cabbie21 Sat 25-Jun-22 14:15:32

Yes and No.
Eg We both enjoy classical especially choral music,but only I sing in choirs. We are both Christian, but go to different churches. We have shared interests and values, but also separate hobbies.

MrsKen33 Sat 25-Jun-22 15:43:14

No we are quite different

M0nica Sat 25-Jun-22 16:25:23

My passion is archaeology and DHs Opera, singing set design, musical director. We both have an intelligent interest in each others interests. I enjoy going to opera performances. he shows an interest in my hobby, comes on the tours my Society organises and takes me place that interest him and me.

Apart from that we share a continuing interst in old houses (ours is listed). renovating them, antique furniture, antiques, auction sales etc etc.

We are certainly not joined at the hip. He is performing in a concert of opera arias this evening. I am elsewhere doing something else.

CrazyMazy Sat 25-Jun-22 16:32:52

We also belong to the U3A and enjoy some groups as a couple and others on our own. This allows use to pursue our own interests whilst enjoying others together, giving us things to talk about and an active social life as well.

Georgesgran Sat 25-Jun-22 16:33:28

DH and I really had no shared hobbies or interests, other than our DDs and pets. Towards the end of his life he liked going to local garden centres for lunch with me - hardly a hobby. It suited us and after he died, that helped, as I didn’t have to go to anything/anywhere that made things particularly difficult. I’m constantly amazed by couples who not only do everything together but work together too. I think we’d have killed one another!

Zonne Sat 25-Jun-22 16:33:54

We met with through a love of travel, and still share that, but we have no other interests in common at all.

Witzend Sat 25-Jun-22 16:42:56

We both enjoy theatre, the odd ballet/opera/classical music concert, exhibitions (art and museum) though he’s been known to go to a couple of those that don’t particularly interest me.

Very little else TBH. After retirement he started yoga (he was notoriously un-supple!) and French conversation classes. Neither of those appealed to me - my French was much better than his anyway - if I’m allowed to say that!

I went back to the piano after a 50 year break, and from a very low base - I’d only ever passed grade 2 - so it was largely a case of starting again from scratch.

He’s spent a lot of time on family tree research, and that does interest me, but I’ve not yet got around to it - probably because I now spend a lot of time knitting, and it’s always something needed by X date, or at least before the cold weather.

Still, I’m planning it for after the C-word - something for all those long dark evenings.

Cherrytree59 Sat 25-Jun-22 16:49:39

Shared interest family and joint friends.

However touring and looking at National Trust properties gardens, castles etc.
Visiting interesting places both here and abroad are done mostly together, but for very different reasons . Dh interest in the main is photography.

We spend quite alot of time (when not helping with grandchildren) doing our own thing with our own individual friends.

Redhead56 Sat 25-Jun-22 16:58:44

I first met my DH years ago as he was a school friend of my BIL. They also went to the same social club that’s how I got to know him but then we were just friends.
We didn’t see each other for some years because of work marriage etc. We met up again and started courting then married and we worked together on our family business.
We love going to watch a rugby match some quiz nights concerts plays with our friends. We do like and playing cards at home after a nice meal. We encourage each other to keep active and healthy as we age. We walk a lot we like to go to nature reserves anywhere there are animals or birds. I have always loved bird watching and my husband now also shares my passion.

pandapatch Sat 25-Jun-22 17:32:51

Another U3A member here! Again we do some groups together, but there are surprisingly few couples at the groups even though lots are married. My husband has a passion for archeology that I don't share, and I persue my own interests whilst he does that. I think that you need a balance of shared and separate interests

kittylester Sat 25-Jun-22 17:43:10

Not really.

We both volunteer but doing different things with different organisations. I sometimes go to watch cricket with him and to jazz concerts (if I can't thi k of a good excuse fast enough) We both like theatre.

We both also love our family, our home and each other so it works really well.

adrisco Sat 25-Jun-22 17:54:19

OH loves classical music, learning languages and watching tennis. I love reading, gardening and seeing friends and family. We watch the same stuff on television though (apart from tennis). It works for us.

Katie59 Sat 25-Jun-22 18:06:04

We do share an interest in most things, that’s what brought us together, so apart from part time work we are mostly together.
Best of all we both like travel, adventure stuff not cruises etc, suits me very well.

NotSpaghetti Sat 25-Jun-22 18:11:27

We met on the same course at university when we were very young.
We are lucky to have grown up together and both enjoy things the other likes so mostly we are joined at the hip^ except for sport which I have no interest in except for the occasional Test Match.

Bakingmad0203 Sat 25-Jun-22 18:39:07

Interesting responses, thank you.
When we first met we had a common interest in going to the cinema and travelling. We subsequently lived and worked in the Far East.
My hobbies, interests now tend to be outdoors- volunteering, gardening, walking etc where I can meet lots of people.. On the other hand my DH is now a home bird and is quite content to research family history , houses for sale (we are on our 9th move) and cooking.
We still travel when we can, though our long haul flights are very few these days!

Redrobin51 Sat 25-Jun-22 18:43:06

We met through a friend borrowing my future husband's Cat Stevens LP but strangely once we married our musical tastes went in entirely different directions. We both like the qcountryside but whereas I would go for a long walk with the dog he would just sit and contemplate the scenery. Before illness put a stop to swimming I would swim quite long distances twice a week he never showed any interest, I am a voracious reader, he hardly reads at all. I garden his contribution is mowing the lawn. I am extremely sociable he is an introvert. It would seem to an outside reading my post that we are not suited at all but we have the same feelings on morals, politics, equality etc and how people should be treated and both adore our rescue dog so we rub along nicely. I would hate to be in someone's pocket all the time but would like one hobby that we could share.x

Hetty58 Sat 25-Jun-22 19:02:09

Bakingmad0203, we always had our own individual hobbies, interests and friends (both husbands). It would drive me totaly bonkers to spend too much time with the same person.

Deedaa Sat 25-Jun-22 19:14:36

We shared some interests, history mainly. We liked some of the same books and films and music, but there were a lot of things that we didn't share at all. DH was fanatical about shooting whereas I joined in from time to time but got bored long before him and I really didn't share his computer obsession.

I used to go out with friends to see films or plays that I knew he wouldn't like. I once read that it was fine if you both liked to listen to different types of music, the problems arose if one of you liked listening to it and the other one didn't. I think this is very true. My FiL used to have the radio or television on 24 hours a day. It nearly drove my MiL insane because she didn't listening to anything. After he died she got rid of the television and spent her days in silence apart from listening to the shipping forecast! (don't ask)

grannyactivist Sat 25-Jun-22 20:19:59

We met when we attended the same church and our faith, shared values and family are the glue that unite us - otherwise we’re chalk and cheese. He’s outdoorsy, a keen cyclist, windsurfer, kayaker - loves adventures and wild camping etc. Me? I’m a homebody; I enjoy reading, exploring family histories and spending time in the kitchen cooking, baking and preserving.

We have always been interested in each other’s careers and have now worked together in our joint business for a year and we both love it. We also have a shared interest in our garden and allotment, so we always have plenty to do together, but also apart. It suits us well.

Floradora9 Sat 25-Jun-22 21:34:06

No we have never had a hobby in common .

M0nica Sat 25-Jun-22 22:50:10

I have always been glad that i married a man whose work often took him away from home. I can only cope with so much togetherness, then I need lots of time alone.

Callistemon21 Sat 25-Jun-22 23:13:45

M0nica

I have always been glad that i married a man whose work often took him away from home. I can only cope with so much togetherness, then I need lots of time alone.

😃
I do now what you mean.
I remember a friend advising not to downsize too much because "You can't get away from each other"