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Moving House/home and earthly possessions......... .

(18 Posts)

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Warbler Wed 06-Jul-22 20:10:18

Hello Everyone........we have all moved house at some point in our lives. I am in the process of moving house, now. We've all been there. I am excited, feeling positive about the move, despite moving from extremely rural to slightly rural and then onto surburbia (yes three times in all). I am organised. Then why.....yesterday was I overcome with this overwhelming sadness........Today I have lost my zzzzzizzzzes. I'm hoping that this is only very temporary........I'm sure it is. Does anyone have any tips on moving house? We are doing it ourselves (I love it.....Normally I have bags of energy...... we are late 60's /mid 70's. Suddenly, I am overcome with this ............aaaaaaargh feeling. Never experienced it before and I feel totally unloved.....unwanted....out of kilter....... I know we are doing the right thing, for the right reasons, but it is scary at times. Is it getting it this fear of the unknown. Whereas we used to embrace it....maybe it just gets a tadge ....harder, the older we get. We are going into the unknown.......surburbia....I will love it - I'm gregarious.......but I also know the other's seclusion......and being solely reliant upon yourself for everything......Just tell me to get a grip.....I know I will. I will pull out of this. I'm just having a wobble........We are reassessing our lives every five years now.......and hopefully doing the right things in advance of our ageing years.......Anyone else thinking five to ten years in front of themselves - and doing something about it. I think decluttering is a big thing. I have no ties to "stuff and things". It doesn't give me any comfort the older I get whereas clean living, fresh, light - and gardening! does. The room to move forwards in our lives without these encumbrances........

Aldom Wed 06-Jul-22 20:19:55

Hello Warbler. If I were you I would put your post on the House and Home forum. The thread has been running for years and is full of helpful information and advice from others who have been in a similar position to yourself. Perhaps you can ask GNHQ to move your post to House and Home.

lixy Wed 06-Jul-22 20:24:02

Yep, five year plans here too.
I think 'having a wobble' is part and parcel of moving house, especially when you're going into the unknown.

Surburbia is interesting in itself as every one works hard to put their own individual stamp on their little bit of turf, not necessarily in a competitive way, just a need to be oneself.
Your mojo will return I'm sure and I hope you enjoy the challenge.

M0nica Wed 06-Jul-22 20:28:39

Another 5 year planner we decided 5 years ago that when we reach 80(next year) we will sell our French holiday home, so that our children will not be burdened with having to look after it and sell it.

It will be a wrnech, we bought it over 30 years ago asa wreck and it is now a beautiful full updated house. But for the sake of ourselves and our children, it is a sale we have to do.

Humbertbear Wed 06-Jul-22 20:31:42

Not sure why you think suburbia will be isolating. There are lots of groups to join. WI exists everywhere as does U3A . There are choirs and churches to join.

Warbler Wed 06-Jul-22 20:32:31

Hi Lixy.....You are right....everyone works hard to put their own individual stamp on their little bit of turf......I need to be myself. Well, who else can I be? We have led an incredible private secluded existence for years now....... but I want some people in my life......I haven't written for years. I didn't realise that people fuel my very passion.....I LOVE people......I just couldn't eat a whole one! lol Stupid things I am looking forward to.......a daily newspaper.......going swimming (not wild swimming) I WANT a pool.......Sainsburys.....Waitrose on the doorstep.....and oh blow this.......B & Q.....I can't wait. Bring it

lixy Wed 06-Jul-22 20:44:42

warbler - I spent a while in the Scottish Highlands miles from anywhere, getting all I needed from the village shop once a week. After a few months I went to Inverness - the nearest town - and I well remember thinking everything was moving very fast and being quite disorientated. I was glad to get back to my isolated cottage
I moved from there to London (Hammersmith) and was soon enjoying the hustle and bustle. Human beings are very adaptable!
Hope you enjoy many happy outings to B&Q!

LilyGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 06-Jul-22 21:08:10

We've moved this thread for you now, OP. flowers

SueDonim Wed 06-Jul-22 22:04:21

I’m sure you’ll be fine, Lixy. smile We’re doing something similar, although we don’t go in for plans as such. We’re moving from the edge of a tiny Scottish village to what I suppose is suburbia, although I hadn’t thought of it as such until now. It’s a new build on a small-ish development.

We’ve loved our rural home but the village has lost all its amenities and this past winter with the storms and power outages has just about broken me. I want more convenience in my life! A house that will need nothing doing to it, a manageable garden, a supermarket, garden centre and bus stops all within walking distance and a dual carriageway half a mile away. Perfect.

We’re currently in temporary accommodation as our house isn’t ready yet but I can say that I have barely given a thought to the house we moved from since locking the front door for the last time, even though we loved it there. It’s as though the right time had come.

The thing that made me sit up and take notice was that friends of ours had a sudden deterioration in their health and circumstances and both ended up in a care home at very short notice because they hadn’t planned for the future. The thought of not being in control of our own lives kicked us into action. Our friends managed to replan their lives to live independently again but how much better to avoid that in the first place.

Good luck with your plans!

SueDonim Wed 06-Jul-22 22:04:52

Sorry, that should have been Warbler!

karmalady Thu 07-Jul-22 06:47:06

Ahhh warbler, I do empahise, my moves have been similar but now head has to rule heart. I have that deep down longing for the rural isolation and space to grow all my own veg, to go horse riding for miles but age will not be held back

Best now to grab the move by the horns, to make the best of it, to be thankful that we get the choice of what to do with our lives before we get too old. Note, before we get too old, while we still can, for none of us know what is around the corner. Personally, I was widowed all of a sudden, picked myself up and made a nest, suitable for my needs now and potential needs in the future

It is about making the right choice and being utterly practical. Getting rid of stuff was liberating, once I started. Keeping rural in my heart is harder, it does not want to leave but heyho, buying my eggs locally means that I am supporting a small business, I no longer need chickens. I will always have that rural longing but rural on ones own and getting old are not a good match

Market towns can be ideal, as long as there are transport links and are thriving, with new small shops opening up, I was lucky finding my home in a somerset market town. 6000 people and I can still hear cows bulling whilst being a few minutes walk from the buses and shops

Try to find that inner peace, you are doing the right thing

SueDonim Thu 07-Jul-22 14:53:24

Oh, I love Somerset, Karmalady. I always thought we’d live there eventually but it won’t happen now, I don’t suppose. I hanker for rural too, but Sensible Head rules. We’ll only be five minutes away from country walks although it’s in an area generally busier than where we’ve been for 25 years. I’m sure we’ll soon get used to it.

I agree, it’s liberating to get rid of so much stuff. I felt lighter, although the bathroom scales don’t reflect that feeling. grin it must have been hard to do that on your own, though. flowers

karmalady Thu 07-Jul-22 15:13:08

Ahh Sue, if only we grew youger instead of older.If we had that sensible head from young adulthood, if we knew then what we know now. Yes it was so hard on my own but done and dusted, lucky to have made a good, albeit not perfect, choice but perfection comes at a cost ie more money

Shandy57 Thu 07-Jul-22 15:28:54

Wishing you much happiness in your new home Warbler.

I was living in a 264 sq m listed house, at the very edge of the village, surrounded by fields. Sadly my husband died, and after five days of isolation during the heavy snow storms of Beast from the East, decided it was time to downsize and enter surburbia.

I did try to move to either Kent or Devon, but didn't have the budget, I didn't like the areas I could afford. I have stayed in the village, and now live in a popular side road in a small bungalow. I felt I'd done the best I could with the money I had, and I've definitely future proofed. I can walk to the village shop if it snows, there is a bus stop nearby, and my bills are halved.


Puzzled Thu 07-Jul-22 22:52:31

Our problem is that we ought bto downsize, and prepare for the inevitable.
But over 40+ years we have put down so many deep roots that it would probably take a year, at least to start organising everything. And then to find somwhere not much more expensive, even after downsizing.

nadateturbe Thu 07-Jul-22 23:24:33

I have found reading the comments on this thread very helpful and encouraging
Wishing you all the best with your move Warbler. I'm sure you'll be happy.

karmalady Fri 08-Jul-22 07:19:49

yes puzzled it is very daunting, it was for us to leave our family home of 35 years but luckily that `warning` flash of thought came while there were two of us and yes it took about a year to do any significant de-cluttering. We needed a skip and gave no end of `good` things away. It would have been almost impossible if widowhood had happened in that house and I hate to say it but two becomes one, we all know it but never say it

I personally would have been devastated to have been known as the little old lady rattling around alone in that old cluttered house that I could no longer afford, or have the knowledge, to maintain. The big upside after taking the big decision, is the golden opportunity to start again, to have that aspiration and the excitement that comes with it

SueDonim Fri 08-Jul-22 15:23:27

Yes, I agree, getting ready to move after a quarter of a century in a house is a long term exercise. It’s so difficult to know where to start. We decided to begin with sorting out the garage. Making space in there meant that other things could then be moved out of the house, bit by bit.

I also developed a mantra for sorting through things. Would I ever use/read/look at/cherish an item again? If the answer was no, out it went. Almost everything from the attic went. If it had been up there for 25 years, it was unlikely to be essential to our lives in the future!

The biggest problem was actually disposing of items, or disposing of them in as ‘green’ a manner as possible. We could have taken everything to the tip, but wanted to recycle as much as we could, and we mostly managed that. There are some local companies who will take away household goods, too. We used them for bigger items of furniture.

I must say, I am envious of your skip, Karma, as I’ve always wanted one! grin