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Doing things for the last time

(86 Posts)
varian Sat 18-Mar-23 16:35:18

I used to love windsurfing but haven't done it for ages and I just know I am too old and unfit to do it now.

I can't actually remember the last time I went windsurfing. I don't think I had a problem with it. I was still keen and able to do it, but for one reason or another, I've not done it since.

Of course, on that happy day when I last went windsurfing, I didn't know that I might never do it again. I wonder what I would have thought if I'd known. Would I have made more of an effort to keep doing it because I enjoyed it so much?

As we age there must be many days when we do something for the last time in our lives. Does it make a difference to how you feel if you are aware that you will never do it again?

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 18-Mar-23 16:38:36

Yes, it certainly does. It’s better not to know it’s the last time imo, if possible.

welbeck Sat 18-Mar-23 16:39:33

agree with GSM

CanadianGran Sat 18-Mar-23 16:41:06

We sold our kayaks last year since they were just too heavy for us. I looked immediately into lighter, shorter kayaks, but DH has had some health issues (back and hip pain), and a potential hip surgery, so he is in no rush to buy new ones. It saddens me, since I love to kayak and it's not something I will do on my own, nor are any of my friends enthusiastic.

Fleurpepper Sat 18-Mar-23 16:46:01

Loved windsurfing- learnt on Rutland Water and went so often. And used to take our windsurfs to Lac Lacanau near Biscarosse in SW France, for many years. Like you, not done it again since I had both knees done- just could not get back on the board, would be too painful.

This year, we have not been sking- neither X country nor downhill. But I am determined I shall be back on my skis next winter- if I miss another winter, that will be it, I think. Again, I gave up snowboarding when I had my knees done, just not worth the risk of twisting. Can't wait to get back on my bike finally, now Spring has arrived.

Last year we renovated our very old wooden window shutters. Did all the top ones, carrying them down and up with the scaffolding there for the new roof. Huge job, sanding back to wood, filling, sanding again, undercoat and 2 top coats. Now have to do the bottom ones, 8 pairs - and I know this will be the last time we will do such a big job!

Blondiescot Sat 18-Mar-23 16:46:53


Yes, it certainly does. It’s better not to know it’s the last time imo, if possible.

I would tend to agree with that. I would love to to go horse riding again, but I know it's probably fairly unlikely. I think I'd have been very sad indeed if I'd known the last time I rode a horse might have been the very final time (at the time).

Blossoming Sat 18-Mar-23 16:52:08

The night before my brain injury I went for an 8 mile walk. I did not know it was the last time I would walk more than a few steps for some years. I had to give up many things after that dreadful day. I cried a lot. As I recovered and adapted I learned to let go more graciously. I have also learned to appreciate what I have. I don’t really know what it’s like to give things up because of age, I guess that comes on gradually rather than all at once though.

Shinamae Sat 18-Mar-23 16:55:55

I also agree with GSM..

JackyB Sun 19-Mar-23 08:41:43

The last time we went camping we had to strike camp and go home because of the rain. Haven't done it again since, but our kids have kept up the tradition.

We can afford to stay in a hotel in comfort now, and I, for one, don't miss the crawling into a sleeping bag and washing up in a cold shed.

loopyloo Sun 19-Mar-23 08:46:10

Sometimes find myself thinking Heavens I can still do this!
Like the time we drove down to Worthing across the Dartford Bridge...

Joseanne Sun 19-Mar-23 08:54:10

Windsurfing and kayaking are finished for me too. But I have moved on to paddle boarding.
I am happy to do something for the final time if I can replace it with something that gives me equal pleasure. The next step will be just watching the DGC on the water, and not participating, but hey ho I will still be involved, (and dream of fitter days!)

Smileless2012 Sun 19-Mar-23 08:56:41

I agree with you too GSM. With some things, if you knew it was going to be last time, would you be able to enjoy it?

silverlining48 Sun 19-Mar-23 09:01:32

Every time I walk the white cliffs I hope it’s not the last time.
So far so good 😊

nanna8 Sun 19-Mar-23 09:02:15

We went to the UK for the last time in 2019. We just can’t face the long flight anymore, even with stopovers. We still travel but have a limit of an 8 hour flight which keeps us in Australia except for a few parts of the Pacific and some Asian countries. It doesn’t bother me because our family all live here except for a few cousins.

Wyllow3 Sun 19-Mar-23 09:03:55


Sometimes find myself thinking Heavens I can still do this!
Like the time we drove down to Worthing across the Dartford Bridge...

Yes that's where I am.... Gosh I can still do....

Sago Sun 19-Mar-23 09:17:45

On a more positive note, I’m going to look forward to doing things for the first time!
We are currently in the car driving 2.5 hours to our granddaughters school to see her singing in the school choir.
They are doing a special Mothers Day service.
It will be the first time for us visiting the school or hearing her sing.

Smileless2012 Sun 19-Mar-23 09:20:20

That sounds lovely Sago, have a great time.

Joseanne Sun 19-Mar-23 09:23:54

Perfect Sago, there's always something else round the corner to enjoy. There HAS to be?

Nanna58 Sun 19-Mar-23 09:30:08

My husband has Alzheimer’s and as he deteriorates the things I realise we have done for the last time are coming thick and fast now

Georgesgran Sun 19-Mar-23 09:31:01

Not for me GSM but I can remember my last walk with DH in January ‘21. We walked into Durham City from Shincliffe and back, along the river. He said how much better he was feeling and we’d do that walk again. Never to be, as he died 7 weeks later.
I agree, best not to know something is final.

Sorchame Sun 19-Mar-23 09:54:50


BlueBelle Sun 19-Mar-23 09:56:43

For me the last time I went to a music festival it was a few years back and never realised it was my last time I d love to get my tent and back pack out again…. will I ? Probably not
The last time I went all the way to NZ to see my son it was such a long arduous journey that I don’t think I ll make it again he has to come to me now

Daisymae Sun 19-Mar-23 10:05:17

Won't be traveling abroad again. We did go on a few cruises but on the last one DH was unwell and I actually started looking at ways to fly home. Thought just can't do this anymore. In the end sticking with the ship was the easiest solution.

Nanatoone Sun 19-Mar-23 10:10:28

This reminds me of coming home after a holiday to Croyde, my husband clearly now suffering for the effects of his cancer (he died some months later) and I promised him I wouldn’t take him away from home again. I knew it was our last family holiday on that journey home. No one needs to know that really.

Cherrytree59 Sun 19-Mar-23 10:13:51

Varien your right, I think the enjoyiable things that we give up naturally, I don't mind so much.
I have the memories.
Motor cycling on the Picos mountains were a joy and unspoiled by the 'Last time' thought.

Other people's 'last time ' though can have an unfortunate impact on another.
My DH has decided that he no longer wishes to travel abroad.
I on the other hand do still want to explore other countries.
So for the 'first time' my sister and I are going on a road trip around Brittany.