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I need honest advice

(88 Posts)
Fflaurie Thu 23-Mar-23 09:52:41

I had an accident last year and seriously injured my back, I had had a bad back for years before, but this was serious, I ended up having neurosurgery on my back and need aids around the house to get around, and I now have to use a walker outside. I also had to retire early on the grounds of ill health. Anyway, we used to go away to a lovely hotel twice a year, but since lockdown, we havent been anywhere. We have booked to go back there in the Autumn, but I am scared witless about going. I know I can get airport assistance, but, I am so worried that the flight will aggravate my injury, the strange bed, getting meals from the buffet, sleeping on a strange bed and so on and on. Would you go, or would you stay in your safe home and have a holiday from home? Please be honest. Thank you.

Sarah75 Thu 23-Mar-23 09:55:37

Would it be better to try a short Hotel break in the UK first, so that you can test out your anxieties about the bed, the meals, etc?

annsixty Thu 23-Mar-23 09:57:59

That is very good advice Sarah I would advise the same.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 23-Mar-23 09:59:11

That’s a good suggestion Sarah. I think I would be feeling as anxious as Fflaurie is, and that alone would spoil my holiday - as I recall, not having had a holiday for many years, the exciting anticipation is a big part of it.

Smileless2012 Thu 23-Mar-23 10:01:45

Great suggestion Sarah; that's what I would do Fflaurie.

The after affects of lock down have left a lot of people with anxiety about 'getting back to normal' and your serious accident without, that is bound to have left you nervous about going away, especially abroad.

Book a short break close to home so you can get back relatively quickly should you need too and if you haven't done so already, talk this through with your H so he's aware of how anxious you are, so able to reassure and support you. flowers.

V3ra Thu 23-Mar-23 10:12:16

Why not keep your booking for now, but have a couple of trial run weekends closer to home in the meantime?

We went to a hotel last summer and the staff were very attentive to anyone who needed help at the buffet, they would carry a tray or fetch drinks.

The important thing if you need assistance is to ask, people won't intrude but won't want you to struggle and will be happy to help.

IrishDancing Thu 23-Mar-23 10:18:24

I would feel the same as you Fflaurie and I think Sarah has given good advice, anticipation is part of the experience. I hope that wherever you go you have a lovely time and your hopes are unfounded.

IrishDancing Thu 23-Mar-23 10:18:42

Fears are unfounded.

Shelflife Thu 23-Mar-23 10:27:26

In your situation I would follow the advice on GN and have a holiday fairly close to home . That will build your confidence for going abroad at a later date. Your fears may be unfounded, but the anxiety it is causing may not be worth the holiday abroad. Good luck whatever you decide . If you decide not to go I hope you are in a post to cancel without too much trouble.

Calendargirl Thu 23-Mar-23 10:51:12


Fears are unfounded.

No they’re not.

Caleo Thu 23-Mar-23 10:53:11

I would stay safely and comfortably at home. I dislike holidays., and don't need them even when my health is good.

When the climates are about to irretrievably break down pleasure flights are immoral and nobody should have holidays that involve flying.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 23-Mar-23 10:53:33

Irish Dancing was making a correction to her earlier post.

aggie Thu 23-Mar-23 11:02:20

I am contemplating a 5 day trip involving a whole day bus trip to our destination, with our Seniors club
I wouldn’t think of it , but it leaves my Daughter free to go on her holiday without having to get me “ minded “
My mobility is poor and I am happier at home ,
If you think you would enjoy the trip gird your loins and head off , hotels are great at helping someone carry food from the carvery and stuff like that, it’s the travelling ! I was away in Scotland and got assistance, it was great , lovely people helping me and nothing was too much trouble

Antonia Thu 23-Mar-23 11:08:00

What a good idea to try a short break near home first. If it's a success then I would go for the holiday.

Calendargirl Thu 23-Mar-23 11:14:43


*Irish Dancing * was making a correction to her earlier post.

Apologies, didn’t realise!

pandapatch Thu 23-Mar-23 11:36:17

Agree with everyone about a break in the UK first. We sometimes go to a Warner Leisure Hotel, there are always guest with mobility issues and they have adapted rooms.

AskAlice Thu 23-Mar-23 11:41:40

A bit harsh, Caleo...

Coolgran65 Thu 23-Mar-23 11:58:29

I'm with Sarah. Have a short break not too far from home.
I would say that if you eventually consider flying near in mind that flights can be delayed, sometimes for many hours, and would this make things difficult for you.
Good luck.

Coolgran65 Thu 23-Mar-23 11:59:20

* not near... Should read - bear in mind

grandtanteJE65 Thu 23-Mar-23 12:01:22

First ask your doctor's advice about the advisability of travelling by air.

Contact the hotel where you usually stay, specifiying what kind of mattress you need and any other needs you now have, and ask if they can or cannot provide these things.

If they can give you a mattress that suits your back, and provide any other help you may need, then you will feel much more confident about going.

Remember if you take any drugs at all, to have a letter from your GP or your consultant certifying why you are on these drugs and that you are obliged to take them. I would also ask for a copy of the hospital report and X-rays so that, should you need a doctor while on holiday, he or she can see exactly what the problem is.

Remember that you may not pack any liquids in your hand baggage.

I hope you do get away and benefit from the change.

And in your case, air travel is justified, as I doubt you can travel abroad by train or car with a bad back.

Oopsadaisy1 Thu 23-Mar-23 12:13:06

Firstly I would suggest you speak to your Consultant and see if they think that you are ok to travel, a year isn’t very long for a spinal op to recover from.
Get adequate Holiday Insurance and be honest about your Medical History, get a joint Policy So that if you have to come home urgently your partner can also travel back with you.
Buy the largest and most comfortable seats on the plane.
Can you manage to get to the loo on a plane with your walker?
As someone else said take all of your prescriptions and any health records you can, plus a letter from your GP/consultant.

You obviously know the Hotel you are going to and know if there are any obstacles for someone using a walker to get around.
I’m sure your partner will help you with your Buffet meals.

But as others have said, try a Hotel out in the U.K. first, but make sure they are disabled friendly or at least have the same facilities as the one you are flying too.

I’ve been in your situation and although the flights went well the resort we travelled to had so many steps that I spent most of my time in the Hotel gardens reading a book, which I could have done at home without the worry.

Damdee Thu 23-Mar-23 12:19:56

You asked for honesty. Well I have a bad back sometimes - not as bad as yours - but I wouldn't go.

Wyllow3 Thu 23-Mar-23 12:20:37

I'd definitely try a nice UK hotel that goes the extra mile to make you comfortable, Fflaurie. Cancel the other now, put it out of your mind, and put it on the "when I have more confidence list". And believe yes it will be possible but just not now.

Yes, tho I'm a stay at homer person its nice to be pampered for a while in the right place.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 23-Mar-23 12:30:11

One thing that occurs to me - could your back cope with a bad episode of turbulence?

NanaDana Thu 23-Mar-23 13:01:17

No-one can advise you on this, Fflaurie, as only you know the actuality of your physical condition, and only you understands the full implications of the limits that this imposes on you. What I will say though, is that what you have spelt out is a list of reasons why you should not go, the combination of which "scares you witless". On that basis, I suspect that you have may already decided what the logical conclusion is. Perhaps a short break in the U.K. would not only be less stressful, but would also give you a better idea of what you can actually cope with. Hope it all works out.