Gransnet forums

Bereavement

Forgive me yet again

(166 Posts)
Anniebach Mon 15-Jan-18 20:33:11

I so need to talk.

We applied for disclose of statements from the coroner before the inquest into the death of my beloved daughter. They arrived today, I have been dreading them every day .

I don't understand the toxicology report. Mils in a litre of blood etc,

A man tried to save her , he gave his phone to a woman who was on the bridge to ring the police whilst he tried to talk to my daughter. I would like to thank him , who ever he is, I have his name, would this be the wrong thing to do?

I am so distressed because she took some photographs with her to the bridge, the report gave a full description of them and I know which they are .

One of her three children.

Her and her husband on their wedding day.

One black and white of three adults and a baby, I know this was her christening, I took a photograph of her, her darling daddy, her paternal grandfather and paternal great grandmother ,

One black and white of a female sitting on a sofa , arms around two little girls, one on each side, me and my daughters, my husband took it. We were so happy.

Why am I saying all this? Not for sympathy, because I am devasted and so turn to you yet again, so sorry,

Annie x

lemongrove Thu 18-Jan-18 21:33:06

If your sister now feels guilty, that’s a step in the right direction Annie could you phone her or write?
What a terrible time you have had.💐

NfkDumpling Thu 18-Jan-18 21:22:33

Exactly! Are you eating?

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 20:10:00

And who would speak up for the Welsh I ask? 😀

Jalima1108 Thu 18-Jan-18 19:54:04

Keep posting Annie, there are so many people who are thinking of you and praying for you.

I do hope that at some future date you may reconcile with your sisters and all of you can find peace and comfort through reconciliation.
flowers

JoyBloggs Thu 18-Jan-18 19:43:56

Annie Still thinking of you often. You have so much to cope with and everybody talking to you here cares about your well-being. Please keep posting, it is good to know that in some small way Gnetters are helping you on your very difficult journey. flowers

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 19:28:25

I would be lost without you, yes through this awful time for me but also because I care about those who are ill , grieving or troubled in any way, because I enjoys the laughs here and because I learn so much , it's a nice place to be

Alexa Thu 18-Jan-18 19:00:22

Please stay with us, Anniebach, there's no need to feel you must stop writing. We are all here for each other.

NannyTee Thu 18-Jan-18 18:06:32

Ditto

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 18:05:55

What a lovely thought Cherry, it couldn't have floated so must have sunk where it fell , thank you x

NannyTee Thu 18-Jan-18 18:05:54

What a lovely thought Cherry tree. 🙂

Bellanonna Thu 18-Jan-18 18:00:01

Lovely thought Cherrytree.

Cherrytree59 Thu 18-Jan-18 17:45:59

Annie would it be silly to say your little gold crucifix is not lost.
Just tucked under a stone on the river bed.
It will live on as a little memorial for all who have lost their lives there xx

margrete Thu 18-Jan-18 17:35:45

I am so sorry that your daughter was living in a dark place, and although she was very much loved, she saw no way out of it. Knowing the actual figures will not help. The mind seizes on irrelevancies like this at a time like this. It is just an awful thing to have to cope with and no matter what anyone says it will not help. The worst thing is the way your mind keeps going 'what if, what if, what if?' Could you have done more/done something different? Was it my fault? I am so sorry.

cornergran Thu 18-Jan-18 13:36:01

I'm sorry I can't offer you anything other than a long distance hug and my love annie. There have been many wise and comforting words in the last few days, I can't better them but do second them, you are grieving for your daughter and the life you anticipated, the plans you made for your bungalow and your family. Its so very hard for you. x

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 13:02:52

My elder daughter, only seven when her father died , could never come to terms with his death , she built up a hero figure , when her illness kicked in she really grieved for him, whrn her first child was born, I went into the delivery room a few minutes after the birth , her eyes filled with tears and she said - I wish daddy could see him.

Nonnie Thu 18-Jan-18 12:55:47

We plan to make an album for our son's children with photos of him throughout his life and comments about what was happening at the time. We have already made memory boxes for them to give them when they are old enough to look after them. It is little enough for boys who have to grow up without a father.

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 12:49:51

I am so blessed to have you all x when I was a gal I remember my best friends Granny use to say - if the Lord doesn't come he will send. This is true x

Matriark Thu 18-Jan-18 12:41:31

Dear Annie, here’s a great big virtual hug from me 💕x

midgey Thu 18-Jan-18 12:37:49

Anniebach there are so many friends on here that worry about you and want to help in any tiny way they can, please keep writing. Just wish we could all come round and give you a big hug.

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 12:31:40

Luckygirl, I cannot contact them, one had a third heart attack the day before ny daughters funeral, the other sister doesn't do email or text and has Parkinson's , I can't cause them upset. The sister who has Parkinson's is the mother of my nephew who told the lies. I know little of this illness,

. My daughter was their favourite niece , I know her death would have devasted the three of them.

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 12:24:44

Margrete, I was rather distressed when my son in law told me the statements and toxicology report , must have made an error writing it down . She made that choice because she wanted to escape the dark place she had been living in for quite some time , she was so loved .

Luckygirl Thu 18-Jan-18 12:13:40

I am so sorry that your family are not giving you the sort of support that you need at this time. Could you just keep contacting them (perhaps by email) and sending loving wishes in the hope that they will come round in the end. Your one sister obviously realises she was out of order not contacting you when your DD died; but it does seem strange to turn that round as being her problem - she may have to live with the fact that she did not get in touch, but you are living with far worse.

It is a shame that your house move has its problems - and it is hard for you to think through solutions to the problems when your mind is so full of sadness. I hope that in the spring you will start to find ways of dealing with these, when you might have a bit more "brain space."

This is a time of struggle for you, and we are all, beside you. x

bikergran Thu 18-Jan-18 12:05:00

thinking of you Annie

margrete Thu 18-Jan-18 12:03:15

No, that doesn't make sense. 209 per 100 ml? 209 of what? Or is it 209 ml per litre of blood?

It sounds as if she had a lot of alcohol in her blood. This is different from having a roadside breathalyser test which only measures the amount of alcohol in your breath.

It probably won't even help, knowing the exact figures of alcohol and/or medication. The mind sort of seizes on minor details as a distraction from all the rest, which is too awful to contemplate. Why did a young woman, with everything to live for, make that choice? There is no answer. I am so sorry.

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 11:45:55

Margrete, I think I have it right - 209 per 100mls

My daughter was bi polar and self medicated with alcohol ,