I wonder if anybody has any encouragement or helpful comments on this.
I thought I was doing really well throughout the first year after losing Paw. Once I’d got over crying myself to sleep or having to abandon my trolley in Waitrose because everybody else seemed to be a couple, that is.
But now the reality of the situation seems to be hitting me harder, the feeling of being alone, no longer one of a couple, the ultimate loneliness.
I keep busy, keep up a cheerful facade (“laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone”) and am in general getting on with a (sort of) life.
But....and it is a big but, the realisation that this is it is always there.
The world is still going round, people are getting on with their lives but I am not fully a part of it. I can go to things on my own quite happily (mostly) or find a friend to accompany me, but that is it, I have to find someone who is free and hate sounding needy.
Just put up with it? Worse things happen at sea? I am not the first and I won’t be the last?
I have told myself all of these. Not helping.
No one informed us - family bereavement
Should we ban them? - politicians on TV
Hard to develop relationship - family far away