There is no rule book which tells us how to feel on these anniversaries, or how to grieve or how to feel anything after losing a loved one. I know from sad experience how you all struggle thro’ these special days, and tbqh there’s nothing I can say to alleviate that horrible feeling of ‘what if’. I seem to lurch from one memory to another, there are so many but like Maw I try, with difficulty, to make the most of the present which has been especially difficult since Covid.
10 years ago this week our family, including the Oz contingent, set off to France on what we knew would be our last big family get together. I will be reliving every day and laughing and crying, as the days go by. We returned home just in the nick of time for DD1 to give birth to the last grandchild DH would know. 7 months later he died.
To know we are not alone in our feelings of desperation and sadness is reassuring. Sometimes I feel I’m the only one! Time doesn’t really heal but it softens the edges.
to you all