Going it alone

Well I got over the 2nd anniversary of my hubby dying (20th), a bit easier this year than last, but it will never be easy. A friend had arranged for us to go to see André Rieu live at Leeds Arena on the 19th, it cost us quite a bit each but was worth every penny, the trip there was another thing though, what should have taken 1hr 40 mins took 4 hours, he had a pick-up in Bradford, but got lost we were in Bradford for over an hour I am sure we saw every street there , then off we went again, he didn't know where the Arena was, eventually found it, but there was no designated car park, coaches had to park on street sides & we had to walk the rest of the way, then a long queue to get in, luckily it was not raining, got in eventually & were shown where our seats were, right at the very top of the arena with about 15 steps to climb, I can't do steps, so we approached someone about it & he got the seats changed, we were right down then 2nd layer up, just 2 steps to manage, the show itself was really good, we were supposed to have time for a meal before the show but as we were late no chance, luckily we had taken a sandwich & a bottle of water as we hadn't eaten since midday, we left the house at 2pm to go meet the coach, I opened my bottle of fizzy water & some sprayed over a bald man's head in front of me, of course I said I was sorry, but my friend was nearly wetting herself trying not to laugh out loud. but it all helped with yesterday as I kept thinking of things that had happened & had a little laugh to myself, yes had a good cry as well, but I told myself I have to get on with life my hubby would want that.
Hope you all have a lovely Christmas

Well done! It gets easier every year, honestly. This year will be my eleventh.

Spindrift sounds like you had quite a journey! Glad you enjoyed the concert and that it helped you to get through your sad anniversary. By the way, how is your puppy doing?

First Christmas, feel apprehensive about the way I will feel on the day. It is 8 months now, and I must be honest and say I feel a lot more in control this last few weeks.
Think about Mike all the time, wondering what we would be doing if he were still here, knowing all the family would be coming here as they always did, hope he wouldn't be disappointed that I have broken that tradition, just for this year, ds.i.l and 2 gds from Holland coming tomorrow till Monday evening. Off to ds1 and 3 dgc on Christmas Eve. DD1 joining us with dgs Boxing Day. Then dd2 and partner arriving here 28th for couple of days. Have warned all that if I disappear during the day don't worry but I will need time to be on my own to remember Christmas past.
To everyone who has lost their partner, no matter how long ago I wish you a peaceful Christmas, and see you back on the forums some time over Christmas.

I bumped into a woman in the graveyard the other day. She was in distress and I asked if I could help in any way. She said her husband had died, in her arms, nine moths go from cancer and this was her first Christmas without him. She looked so bewildered and was so missing him, even though she has family around her and was going to her daughter's on Christmas Day.
It brought it home to me how hard it is to 'go it alone'.
For all of you who have lost your soul mate, whether recently or not, I wish you peace

The puppy (Toby) is doing well & growing fast Bellasnana, he is full of mischief, but is also helping me get over the loss of my old dog nearly a fortnight ago, he just got ill all of a sudden, the vet said kidney failure & he was in pain, so I had to let the old fellow go, he was 13, a really faithfull companion especially after my hubby died, Toby & he had bonded so well, they were toghter all the time until Skipper got ill, Toby has been looking for him for a few days but now must have realised he isn't coming back.

Enjoy Christmas as much as you can everyone,like you said Lindylooby it will be good to have a quiet moment just to reflect, there will only be my daughter here, she won't be here all day just come for her lunch & open her presents, mostly I will be by myself

wish I could give you all real ones xxx

I forgot to say there is a picture of Toby with his sister Sika (My daughter has that one but she spends a lot of time here) on my photo file, they are brilliant gardeneers lol they prune everything then sit in the plantpots & sometimes go to sleep

So sorry to hear you lost your older dog, Spindrift . It is the hardest part of being a pet owner that our furry friends lives are so short compared with ours. Glad you have the little one, though. He looks adorable. Do you think he is missing his big brother?

Our 13 year old dog died two years ago and our younger dog (now aged 7 yrs) went into a terrible depression for several months. He is much better now but it was quite sad to see him pining for his pal.

Extra hard for you losing your dog when there was the connection to your husband. I really feel for you.

No I don't think Toby is missing Skipper, Toby is only 11 weeks old so like babies they easily forget, he has his sister here with him most of the time & also my daughter's Labradoodle is around a lot, they all play together, Toby had a "sleep-over" the night I went to the show lol, my eldest daughter only lives across the patio from me, she has a chalet home, but the weather was so bad she decided to keep Toby over there rather than come out in it.

well done Spindrift the show sounded brill, sounds like your all having a good time with the new pup Toby

I hope you all survived Christmas as best you could under the circumstances, not a good time for us but we have to make the best of it, now it's a New Year tomorrow, I do hope it's a better year for you all, best foot forward & I hope things go well for you
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL xxx

Hello,
My wife divorced me after 40 years of marriage and 2 sons That was in 2007 but it does not get any easier,Roderick in Leicestershire

Roderick Welcome. You will hopefully make some new and supportive friends on this forum.

Roderick Welcome and sorry to hear of your plight, I assume your divorce was not something you welcomed or wanted in which case the scars can last for years, as you have found. I guess all we can do is try and move on, as difficult as that obviously is and is sadly far easier to say than do. I hope you find it in yourself to do so but I'm sure you will find sympathetic ears and advice based on experience on here if you choose to share your concerns.

PS ,Thanks for your sympathy,I have had tragedy in my life,my first marriage was less than 10 years when she died of leukaemia leaving me with 2 adopted children,the youngest 2

Men suffer too but they are less keen to talk about it.
I lost my first wife through leukaemia after less than 10 years of marriage leaving me with 2 adopted children when I was 36
I remarried and the marriage was happy for several decades ,giving us 2 sons.
But in later years her depression returned and she became an alcoholic.
We divorced in 2007 and I now live on my own

Dear Roderick I am hoping with all my heart that you discover some caring new friends on this forum. I am rooting for you.

Roderick I have been divorced since 1988, not what I wanted, and it does get easier. As soop said, hopefully you will find some friends on this forum. Quite a few men have signed up recently so you are not alone!

Hi Roderick - Hope you enjoy GN - and welcome.

Hallo Roderick, nice to speak to you but sorry it is in difficult circumstances. Hopefully we can ease things a little for you, we are quite a lively 'off the wall' bunch. Look forward to seeing you around.

Welcome Roderick I'm sure you will enjoy

Hi Roderick we're a lively bunch on here on the whole. Hope you enjoy our company. As a widow of 10 years I have some appreciation of what it's like.

Hello, Roderick - pleased to meet you. I hope you are able to find a bit of support on here. As Charleygirl said, quite a few men have signed up lately so you may find having the chance to hear how they feel about things might help you a little. I hope so.

Marelli,
Thanks for your reply