Teenage babysitters. or The Thread They Forgot to Start.

There were four of us, my mother would only use older teenagers, maybe because she thought we would gang up on anyone younger. When I had my own children I automatically did the same as I reasoned that they would need the money to go out with, so paid them well so ensure that they would do as good a job as possible. Once I left my eight-year-old ready for bed but crying that she did not want me to go out, even though she was with her normal 18 yr-old sitter. Apparently she could not be appeased, so the babysitter rang her boyfriend who came round to help to entertain her. He said he was hungry and fancied a chinese - all three of them went off in his car to buy a takeaway. When they got there, he said that they might as well eat in the restaurant. So my daughter ate in a very smart chinese in her pyjamas, bunny slippers and thick fleece dressing-gown, 20 years ago when pyjama-wearing was most definitely not a fashion. I didn't know whether to be mortified at that or furious that if I had phoned to check that she was ok, no-one would have been in and I would have rushed home.

I was glad for the 14-yr-old USA sitter explanation, I thought it was too young. A friend of mine booked us one when we were staying at the very posh Fairmont in Chicago a year later, and I was very apprehensive. I ordered them room service, but they got a bit rowdy and broke a serving dish. They collected up the pieces and put them outside the room and locked themselves out... Several hours later we returned to see a couple of scruffy young girls riding the internal escalators and running off to the shops before we could get their attention. We caught them in an expensive jewellery concession where the saleslady informed us sourly that they had tried on most of the expensive clothes in the boutique and loudly discussed practically every item of merchandise the hotel had to offer. I was appalled but my american friend laughed it off. I wanted to apologise to all the traumatised-looking sales staff but she said that was what they were paid for!

I watched a programme about nomads in Mongolia, who follow the reindeer herds. A boy of four was skinning a small animal with a huge and very sharp looking knife. His father was surprised that the British programme maker thought there was anything unusual about this.

familylikeness are you Caitlin? (writer of the book)

Yes, sorry j08, I should have said that i was the author of the book, I was just so caught up in reading what everyone was saying! Hope you're having a nice sunny evening.

Thank you. Glad you are enjoying the thread. Good blog!

I remember asking two girls from the local school to look after my two small children. The school ran a baby sitting service, and it was the 16 year old pupils who baby sat.

When we came home from our night out, both girls were sound asleep on the sofa . . . and there was a strong smell of sherry in the room! Last time I leave the drink's cabinet unlocked!

When we were young parents, we had a babysitter for our child who was 12. Our kid was about 3 or 4. The babysitter is now head teacher at a local grammar school. We trusted her because we knew her parents and because she was very intelligent. She never betrayed our trust.

I babysat from the age of 13...in the late 80's for pocket money. I did catch catch chickenpox from little people when I was doing my GCSE's!! .I'd been cycling to skool on my own since 3rd year of junior skool, so different to today. I had a summer job when I was 15 looking after 4 kids under 11. We went swimming and horse riding most mornings...I don't remember it being traumatic just fun and I must have cooked and fed them and I lived in a big city, Manchester.

My Californian Granddaughter has baby sat since she was fourteen as she had been on a course specifically for that. They were taught all sorts of stuff and were given a certificate at the end of the course. They earn good money doing that and although I am not sure if I would have used it, she and her friends are are much in demand.

Each generation of children have been allowed to take less responsibility. My husband travelled to France on a train by himself when he was 12 years old. My parents ran a GP practice from home and at 13 plus I would answer the phone to patients when they were on weekend duty. I could have left school at 15 and got a job.

I am very sorry for the person who left her 3 year old with his 14 year old brother for half and hour who accepted a police caution. She should not have done. Parents are allowed to make arrangements that are reasonable and safe. Sometimes these situations are tested in the courts and the parents win. In my day it was leaving children who had not been fed or leaving children with a 12 year old in front of an unguarded electric fire.

50 years ago I had 2 children of primary school age. I was happy as they watched 'muffin the mule' or other children's TV, to nip to the corner shop at the end of the road to pick up an item for the evening meal. This was never a subject of comment by the neighbours.

When I moved into the country side, to a small close of houses, and my children came back by themselves with their key, on the school bus; a neighbour who was a foster mother tried to get the Social Services interested without success. I was distributing equipment in the community so did not always get back from work on time.

Children are getting less and less freedom. My husband aged 12 travelled to France by train, by himself for an exchange, with the photograph of the family representative he was to meet. Aged 13 I answered the phone for my GP parents when they were on duty at weekends. I could have left school and gone to work at 15.
Living in a town with two preschool children I occasionally left them in the afternoon watching children’s TV – Muffin the mule, whilst nipping to the corner shop for an item. This seemed quite normal .
When I moved to the country, to a small close, and the children went to primary school on the bus they returned with a key as i was occasionally late home from work. A neighbour did report me to social services but no action was taken.
I feel sorry for the person who accepted a police caution because her 14 year old looked after her 3 year old for half and hour. There is no case law against this. In my day the only case law was leaving a 12 year old child looking after another child in a room with an unguarded electric fire. Basically reasonable arrangements where the children are fed and safe are acceptable.
Later I trained as a social worker. One night I was on duty and called by the police to a block of flats where the neighbour had reported that dad had gone to the pub and left his children. I enquired when closing time was and arrived after that. I had a brief interview with dad and wrote a report for the team. My view is that parents need support and advice not criminal records.

When I worked in a maternity hospital we were always seeing young teenage girls who had conceived whilst babysitting, having invited the boyfriend round too.

(I know I shouldn't shouldn't laugh)

I wonder if Caitlin has covered that aspect of it in the book.

JO8 , No you shouldn"t .

[laugh]

Mishap, many years ago (obviously) I quite angrily questioned my OH after finding a packet of condoms on the shelf next to the bed (I'd been out for the afternoon with the children). I was on the Pill and he was naturally and justifiably horrified.
It turned out that my teenage babysitter and her boyfriend had regularly been using our bed when we left her looking after the children when we went along to the pub for a couple of hours . At least she wasn't likely to end up in the maternity ward, I suppose.

Thank you! Really looking forward to reading this.

Thank you!

I've only just caught up with this thread and at the end of the day I think, like so much else, it all depends on the individual. I took (very good) care of my siblings from a very young age, used knives, lit fires, cooked, shopped and travelled places alone. I was sensible and competent, level headed in emergencies (there were a few) and trustworthy. However, I felt the weight of responsibility keenly and wouldn't have wished for my own children to have to do those things - I had no choice.
As a parent I have a tendency to overprotect, but am aware of it and this is heavily countered by my husband who is the opposite. As he has been described as a 'guru of natural play' for children I deferred to his greater wisdom in the matter of what was 'safe and appropriate' for our children and they have all grown up to be able to make the transition to independence fairly easily.

Congrats to everyone who won a book, I'd love to know what you think of it! Your comments have been real food for thought. Caitlin

It's so good when the author comes on the thread!

I'm looking forward to reading it!

Thanks for the book in advance - I look forward to reading it.