Late Long?

Please can you credit @joelizaharrison for the #NYOB card? That's really important. Thanks!
Kate Long

Granted!

She makes some good points, such as the possibility of triggering eating disorders, but it's a question-begging argument. It presumes that there's no contention about whether people are entitled to burden society with the consequences of their personal choices when this patently is contentious.

Thank you!

crun, if someone's weight is within the healthy range, then I don't see how that's anything to do with anyone else. Mine was, when someone thought to pronounce on my shape.

But also, thanks for your comment. :-)

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
That's a general comment to all those who feel it's ok to make any type of personal comment. Whether it be the colour of your hair or the size of your nose.
It is possible to be other than average weight and still be healthy, we're not all a burden on tax payers.

Although it's quite telling that the woman in the OP's blog felt it was OK to tell her she was 'too thin'. I doubt whether she would have 'leaned in confidentially... and said "We think you're too fat."

Been on the receiving end of that type of comment so many times, despite an exemplary BMI!

Believe me people are only too happy to tell you that you're too fat as well.

VQ, nobody has ever had the nerve to tell me I'm too fat, though I am. Someone did call me formidable - though he was a bit drunk at the time!

The worst is the 'concerned' person who just as you're about to put a tasty morsel in your mouth looks at you solicitously and asks, "Should you really be eating that?"

Or my mum's favourite, "Are you eating again?"

I am really surprised when I hear of things like this. I am overweight and no-one has ever mentioned it!

Are you the same Kate Long who has recently had a book on anorexia published?

Yes, that's me. I did a LOT of research, and it's amazing how many people with eating disorders cite nasty comments as the trigger for the illness. (Though obviously there's a great deal more to a mental health issue than that single point.)

'The Ministry of Thin' by Emma Woolf is a very good book on weight/body image and the way society pressurises individuals.

Do you count "we think you are too thin" as nasty?

Genuine question because I have had that said to me a few times by different people and I didn't regard it as nasty. I've never been anorexic but my sister was and two of my nieces.

'Nasty' is too strong a word for it in my case, but it was uncalled-for and critical. It certainly wasn't intended for a compliment, in my case. And it did sting a bit because I'd made an effort for the party and thought I'd looked nice. Plus I had a real moment of, 'God, no matter what we weigh, we never get it right, do we?'

I'd say, thatbags, that in your case comments about your shape were almost certainly born out of genuine concern. x

I suggest that someone who comments that 'you are too thin' could be envious!

Why don't you think it was said to you out of genuine concern?

Because the person speaking to me didn't know me intimately enough to make that call (imo), and also - more crucially - because my BMI was well in the healthy range.