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LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 18-Nov-15 17:20:13

Grey pride

We are delighted to introduce our new regular guest columnist. Judith Holder is the author and producer of the international hit Grumpy Old Women TV series for BBC Two and co-writes (with Jenny Éclair) the stage show spin-offs as well as doing a lot of faffing on with her to do lists.

Judith Holder

Grey Pride

Posted on: Wed 18-Nov-15 17:20:13

(119 comments )

Lead photo

Judith Holder

Having spent the last ten years mining a comedy seam about getting older, I think of myself as self appointed head girl of the sisterhood which is women over 50 with a dry white wine and lockable Tupperware habit. But then I was always prone to self importance. I’ve also just done a posh visiting research fellowship at the University of Oxford studying the ageing process which sounds very grand but don’t be too impressed because on a good day it was wonderful, but on a bad day I thought they might have mistaken me for someone else. It’s a massive topic, but the one thing it made me determined to do was to gather support and interest in a movement to help re-launch and reclaim our older age - hence “Grey Pride”.

My studies coincided with me turning 60 which is a stylish way to apply for your first student rail card. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed presenting it at stations. It is not what people expect, and this I suppose is the point. We need to shake up the whole process of getting older. We need to celebrate the plus sides of ageing, and to emphasise that people once they become “old” (whatever that now means ) still feel the same inside as they always did, but just with more bad hair days and a tendency to leave some lipstick on their teeth. We are still the mischievous young people we always were with a zest for life and a sack load of life skills and wisdom to add to it. We don’t want to be labelled up just as needy and lonely and negative, we want the world to recognize us for who we are.

No-one should pretend that being old and frail and lonely is something to celebrate. It isn't.


The trouble with the word old is that it really is just about the most universally negative one in the language and is saturated in negativity and need and despair. This is surely the first thing we need to change. We need to shift attitudes, and to make being properly old a more appealing place to be heading than it currently is. This feels like a reasonable aspiration given that a third of the world’s population is already over 50.

No-one should pretend that being old and frail and lonely is something to celebrate. It isn’t. But we can celebrate the fact that old people whatever their needs are still the astonishing people they always were.

Previous generations looked forward to being elders, being the head of the family, being the person to predict a good potato harvest and being valued for their wisdom. Now we need to go out of our way to champion and celebrate the old.
The solution is not simple. We are not a homogenous lump, and there is a huge mismatch between what the world sees and what we feel inside. But we need to make a start and getting older has never been more interesting or more important. Making old the new rock and roll is going to be challenging, but we need to reclaim our older age.

Maybe a good way to start is by contemplating some of the upsides of being older.

Upside No 1
Being able to spot gormlessness at 100 meters and before suspect in question has even opened their mouth. This is useful in many ways. For example, I can weigh up the best supermarket check out operative with 100% certainty and choose the fastest lane on offer. Often, interestingly my radar will point me to the oldest person on the check out as the one who will know the difference between a mango and a tangerine and who will also be able to trouble shoot problems rather than simply call for the supervisor. Sometimes of course my radar is useful because you positively want to seek out gormlessness in a shop assistant. I'm thinking in particular of when I am "taking back" as in I've gone off it, or if I'm honest when I've already worn it but have gone off it. Then my friends the gormless person in the shop is what you want, not what you want to avoid.

Find out more about Judith by visiting her website here.

By Judith Holder

Twitter: @greyprideuk

italiangirl Fri 04-Dec-15 08:21:49

I've been grey hair haired some time finding that it doesn't fit so well with others ,so I'm glad to find that there are those who can do find pride in being grey literally and figuratively .Underneath this grey hair I'm still the same person albeit a bit wiser .

janeainsworth Fri 04-Dec-15 08:05:43

maxsmum you are free to think and post whatever you like about other Gransnetters, just as we are free to disagree with anything a blogger writes, and say so.

maxsmum42 Fri 04-Dec-15 00:20:10

Well, what a mean, unwelcoming bunch you are. Give her a break, gals. Not sure I like this forum...

TriciaF Sat 28-Nov-15 18:23:43

Jings - it was a comment following JaneA's post of yesterday at 09.49.23.
About the ageing process.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 27-Nov-15 22:45:42

"I suppose I had hoped to put a smile on your faces" (from judithholder's post 09.27.29)

Thank you. Very kind. But Gransnetters are doing it for themselves. smile

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 27-Nov-15 22:42:26

I've totally lost the gist of this thread now!

What is that weird quotation all about? confused What's it doing? Why's it here?

janeainsworth Fri 27-Nov-15 22:13:45

Thank you for the quote Tricia smile

TriciaF Fri 27-Nov-15 15:41:19

ok sorry!

Alea Fri 27-Nov-15 15:27:03

It was regarding my post of 13.45 to Cher, TriciaF and my reply to Jingl a few minutes later.

TriciaF Fri 27-Nov-15 15:15:09

JaneA's post - if only we could go on to the end with a "mens sena in corpore sano" then suddenly depart.

The phrase comes from Satire X of the Roman poet Juvenal (10.356). It is the first in a list of what is desirable in life:

English translation:

You should pray for a healthy mind in a healthy body.
Ask for a stout heart that has no fear of death,
and deems length of days the least of Nature's gifts
that can endure any kind of toil,
that knows neither wrath nor desire and thinks
the woes and hard labors of Hercules better than
the loves and banquets and downy cushions of Sardanapalus.
What I commend to you, you can give to yourself;
For assuredly, the only road to a life of peace is virtue.

TriciaF Fri 27-Nov-15 15:06:06

That was Cher53.

Alea Fri 27-Nov-15 14:43:44

This woman is typical of people I came across when I worked in both retail and for many years in catering/restaurant work. The ' I am so much better than you brigade and so much more intelligent because I've been to university and you haven't'. 'You just work in a shop/café.'

You are right as always of course, Jingl it wasn't "snide", just downright insulting, not to say rude. hmm

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 27-Nov-15 13:47:31

no way not now way

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 27-Nov-15 13:47:14

It's cheeky. Perhaps a bit rude (so what?), but now way is it "snide". "Snide" means 'sneaky'.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 27-Nov-15 13:46:23

No it isn't!

Alea Fri 27-Nov-15 13:45:44

Now that is snide Cher 53!!

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 27-Nov-15 13:30:10

grin

You're right Cher53. You don't need to possess a degree to have commonsense.

Cher53 Fri 27-Nov-15 12:57:35

This woman is typical of people I came across when I worked in both retail and for many years in catering/restaurant work. The ' I am so much better than you brigade and so much more intelligent because I've been to university and you haven't'. 'You just work in a shop/café.'
Well I've got news for you - no you aren't. I've met wonderful people in retail and catering who are still long-term friends and have more brains and common sense than you will ever have.
These folk annoy me.

Stansgran Fri 27-Nov-15 12:48:58

I always forgive synonym spelling mistakes as I have an iPad with a strong will. It's spelling mistakes like seperate or neccessity which means the poster hasn't used spell check and carnt spel. If it's a blogger then they should do better. Or Gnhq should proofread for them.

Alea Fri 27-Nov-15 10:36:58

"Tired knocking on a bit posters"
??
Speak for yourself!!gringrin
(Well not "tired"!)

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 27-Nov-15 10:25:43

Alea - this woman is 60! Her post was not a part of a late evening discussion between tired knocking-on-bit posters.

Perhaps you can't understand the difference. hmm

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 27-Nov-15 10:22:55

No. I thought the same ja. grin

janeainsworth Fri 27-Nov-15 10:22:02

Sorry. That was mean blush

janeainsworth Fri 27-Nov-15 10:21:35

Perhaps 'reign' was a Freudian slip grin

Eloethan Fri 27-Nov-15 10:20:11

judith I realise you were trying to defy stereotypes by characterising older people more positively, but I think jane makes some very good points.