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Books/book club

Go the F*** to Sleep

(37 Posts)
katesheilaskate Sat 11-Jun-11 13:56:08

See today's Guardian - Family section. Author says "If I've got grandmothers springing to my defence, I think I'll be OK". I have ordered his book for both my daughters, as I think they will love it, but the Daily Mail seems to be conducting a war against it. What do other Gransnetters think?

baggythecrust! Sat 11-Jun-11 16:27:12

I think I'd better check it out!

Totrirulody Sat 11-Jun-11 16:30:11

I think the language used in the title is a step too far. There can't be any defense for using such language, I certainly would not buy the book.

Poppygran Sat 11-Jun-11 16:41:44

It sounds awful and I wouldn't buy anything with that in the title.

Supernan Sat 11-Jun-11 16:49:48

If the Daily Mail are waging war on it & the Guardian are reviewing it - it sounds like it's worth a read!!

supernana Sat 11-Jun-11 17:00:41

Don't get me started - I'm off to the quiet corner, where I'm happiest.

crimson Sat 11-Jun-11 17:54:01

Can only agree with with Supernan....if the Daily Mail don't like it it can't be all that bad.

baggythecrust! Sat 11-Jun-11 18:59:11

Yup, crimson and supernan, I think this is the good ole grauniad cocking a snook at the daily mail's stuffy attitude. i'm not sure I would use the book with kids (probably not) but I'd sure have a good laugh at it myself. It hits a real spot for parents, including me, and I didn't even have kids that wouldn't go to sleep. A lot of swearing (most of it that isn't used in frustration, I would say) is used in the mood of exasperated humour. It has nothing to do with morality or ethics and I wish people would stop confusing the issue by trying to pretend it is. What the author is trying to say is that the f word, as used, is NOT IMPORTANT. It's a filler, an emphasis word, and nothing more. It doesn't mean anything. People used to say "For God's Sake!" Now they say "For Fuck's Sake!" Neither of those phrases mean a thing. Such phrases may seem pointless, at worst, but they are also harmless. I avoid them myself because some people make a fuss and avoiding the fuss makes life simpler, not because I think there's anything wrong with them.

BecauseImWorthIt Sat 11-Jun-11 19:18:54

I doubt it's meant to be used for children, baggy - the whole thing is a spoof! It reflects the sheer frustration felt by many parents when their children won't do what they're told/what their parents want them to do.

katesheilaskate Sat 11-Jun-11 19:21:21

Yes, baggythecrust. My hubby grew up above a pub and hearing the guys at chucking out time, thought "fucking" was an alternative for "very". i.e. "I'm fucking knackered" or "It was a fucking good football match". Doesn't mean much. I'd agree it's not a book for kids, but I'm sure their parents would enjoy a laugh.

jackyann Sun 12-Jun-11 09:02:05

Can't help feeling that we should do what all grans do "it isn't big, it isn't clever, and I don't talk to people who us that language": this to the author, publisher, Daily Mail & Grauniad

Leticia Sun 12-Jun-11 09:19:49

I hate the laguage in the title so wouldn't even pick it up.

crimson Sun 12-Jun-11 09:51:28

What would everyone suggest as an alternative title to sum up what the author is trying to get across in one sentence? How do you get across how it feels when you're desperatley tired yourself and your children just won't sleep? I think tiredness is my main memory of being a young mother, and I remember giving my daughter phenergan one night and feeling awful about doing to [everyone told me it was good for getting them to sleep in moments of desperation]. Don't think it worked, and, I understand that it can have the opposite effect [affect?] with some children and make them hyperactive!

baggythecrust! Sun 12-Jun-11 10:31:44

crimson, I can't think of a better title just at present but will allow my brain to work on it. The fact that the current title has provoked a storm of polarised views is proof that it is, in fact, perfect for the job. Those who see the humour that I'm sure the author intended, understand instantly what is meant and remember the exact feeling that the situation causes. Those who only see the particular arrangement of four letters and don't stop to think about meaning or intentions or humour are losing out by being narrow-minded. They don't seem to understand (or to want to understand) that everyone, including those of us who laugh at stuff like this, hates abusive language, but that this usage cannot be defined as abusive by any stretch of the imagination. They've just plonked it into their index verborum prohibitorum with a don't look, don't ask, don't question, don't find out, don't learn attitude.

baggythecrust! Sun 12-Jun-11 11:02:30

It has occurred to me that those people in the 'don't understand' brigade whom I referred to in my previous post, may regard such words as we are talking about as intrinsically violent. I understand that view even though I don't agree with it. I feel the same about actual physical violence in films or written descriptions of it and I avoid both.

elderflower1 Sun 12-Jun-11 14:09:00

Sounds like an ideal present for my daughter. Thanks I would not have heard about it without gransnet.

Totrirulody Sun 12-Jun-11 14:19:05

I would agree with Jackyann. Of course the use of F***K has almost passed into the common language, but I try to explain to my grandsons (in particular the eight year old), that it is not nice to use such word. Therefore I cannot think any case when its use would be justifiable. It would be a case do as I say not as I do....For me this word has in fact little meaning (I am French), but I know that it is offensive to many others therefore don't use it. As a rule smile

crimson Sun 12-Jun-11 15:35:33

Chickened out of asking for it in Waterstones today......

GeraldineGransnet (GNHQ) Sun 12-Jun-11 16:33:46

Eagle-eyed gransnetters will have noticed that we've put some asterisks in the heading of this topic. There's a been a fair amount of controversy about swearing on Gransnet and, while we don't intend to delete words generally, we think it's only fair to those who are really put off by swearing not to have it in thread titles, where they can't take avoiding tactics.

In this instance it was a tricky decision, made slightly against my better judgement, because it's the title of a book. Personally, I think it's salty and funny. I've also heard the author talking about it and he seems to have a very interesting take on parenting. (Parents think they're more influential than they are, and their neurosis about "improving" their kids stops everyone having a good time).

I don't like asterisks either, because they seem neither one thing nor the other - a bit feeble. Still, think it's best to start as we mean to go on - so we're going to be avoiding swearing in thread titles. This will clearly not meet with universal approval, but it's the best compromise we can think of at the moment.

baggythecrust! Sun 12-Jun-11 16:40:48

GG, glad I didn't have to make that decision. Fine by me but really rather funny because it's still perfectly obvious what the word is so what, exactly, do people think they are avoiding? How are they avoiding more by seeing three asterisks representing three letters when they know what the letters are?

You don't have to answer. smile

supernana Sun 12-Jun-11 17:04:41

baggythecrust Are you impressed with the way I'm refraining from commenting on this particular issue? I hate falling out with people - find it difficult to sleep etc. Maybe I'm a wimp! Seems to me that I'm better off toddling to the quiet corner to enjoy some virtual

baggythecrust! Sun 12-Jun-11 18:46:47

Hi supernana, I liked your story about the Saab in the 'don't you just?' thread. I was shocked that it happened in Cornwall. Sorry, I hadn't noticed that you'd refrained from commenting on this thread. Was it you who asked GG to put the asterisks? As I said, that's fine by me. As I also said, somewhere, that I don't use swear words much because some people are upset by them and because I don't often feel the need. I don't understand quite what the problem is with their use when no offence is intended, but that's no reason to fall out with anyone and I have no intention of doing so. Do have a glass of wine from my virtual bottle.
Cheers, baggy.

baggythecrust! Sun 12-Jun-11 18:48:33

Oh dear, some people object to Hi as well. I'm doomed!

jangly Sun 12-Jun-11 18:53:09

From the write-up in the paper it sounds as if it just a collection of pathetic little rhymes all with the f-word in them. Can't see the point. The rhymes quoted didn't make me laugh, and they were the sort of thing any non-poet could easily trot out.

"Not funny and not clever" literally applies, I reckon.

jangly Sun 12-Jun-11 18:55:12

Geraldine - I think the asteriks are good. They imply that you don't really want to actually say the word.