Hospices - what can we expect when our loved ones are able to stay or visit?

So sorry when, thinking of you through such a difficult time ((hugs)) xx

So sad that your sister has become worse, when - I feel for you.

Oh, when xxxx thinking of you both.

and

I think that's it Jingle, but it rather took us by surprise because we are close sisters and want to be together whilst we have the time, so I have sat with her in hospital and at home, and she wanted me near in the hospice. It'll be irrelevant soon - she'll be admitted to the hospice and I can spend time with her as freely as she wants. Not so we can sit and cry - we have lots of laughs and do fun things to distract ourselves.

Sorry to hear your sister has become so ill when.

I wonder if the policy re no visitors for patients going in for day visits could be down to the fact that they want to keep the atmosphere calm and fairly quiet. Perhaps they feel that visitors in the day room might overwhelm some of the patients.

No doubt if and when a patient has to go in for full time care they would be more on their own and perhaps not participating so much in communal activities?

Very sad.

Thanks, peeps. Just had a lovely text to say symptoms have subsided since this afternoon. A little reprieve but it means so much

Sorry to hear she is not well just now.

when ((hugs))

when

We've clarified again with the hospice and visitors are not allowed on the days when my sister goes for respite, but it's fine when she goes in to stay. Meanwhile, she has become very ill, and contrary to what has been said above, is having a terrible time which I won't describe. I now understand those people who refer to a 'battle with cancer.' She is currently in hospital. Most distressing.

The local Macmillan nurse gets some things done, and we try elsewhere for other things we need to happen. Yes, Mishap she did make the referral on the request from my sister and her husband.

That is a strange policy, when.
I was in and out of our local hospice as a SW and they welcomed anyone, particularly relatives and carers as they knew that time together was precious, but sometimes a new venue and new people to talk to could be very helpful and lighten the mood.

Could you talk to the local MacMillan nurse? - or is she the person who made the initial recommendation?

That should have read "can mostly be held at bay by drugs and other means"

Not all cancer brings pain, moving and when it does, the pain can mostly be drugs or other means. People in novels or soap operas who get cancer are always depicted as terrified and racked with pain, which spreads the horror in which cancer is held. As someone who has accompanied someone through three years of cancer, I must point out that for most of that time, there was no pain at all, and in the later stages it was held at bay by increasingly strong medication. There was more distress at the discomfort at some of the side-effects of chemotherapy andat the knowledge that this was the end of a life.

I am sorry to heart that, But cancer bring people pain ,that is terror.

Thanks susie we were rather puzzled by the way things seem to have evolved at this hospice, to the extent that carers don't go in when taking their relatives in for a few hours. I'm wondering whether it's a recent thing and the staff would welcome carers and relatives visiting their day-patients. We're going to find out more next Monday.

Thast does seem a shame and not typical of the hospice movement. My father ws cared for in St Helena Hospice in Colchester and we can never thank them enough for the love and care they gave him. professionally I have dealt with a number of hospice and even worked for a visiting hospice in North Yorkshire and have never heard a story like this ne. i do hope your sister enjoys her next visit a little more.

What a pity. The local hospice where I last lived in the UK was wonderful- and visitors were always welcome. (Loros in Leicester). I so hope her next experience is better or that she finds another hospice with good palliative care and welcoming to family and friends.