Hi everyone, thank you for your replies.
The problem is that my dad lives in Leeds, as I do, I have 2 brothers and a sister who live in Bristol, Norwich and Ellesmere Port, all who have full-time jobs and children of their own. They do visit but usually during school holidays and come up for 2 or 3 days at a time. My dad has a sister in Leeds but she has a daughter with small children who she helps look after, she does visit regularly on an afternoon. The main problem is that my dad's hospital appointment could take all day as he is a wheelchair user unable to transfer, therefore we are reliant on hospital transport which can mean lots of waiting around. I have decided to take a day's leave from work as it will be the first time my father has had a hospital appointment since my mum died and I thought it best to go myself rather than a stranger.
I work full time and my employers aren't happy about this as I have just had 8 weeks off sick due to my mum's illness and subsequent death and am now on a 4 week phased return. The care home weren't able to tell us how much a carer would be. Although I obviously want to do as much as I can to help my dad, circumstances sometimes just won't allow it.
We are currently in touch with social services anyway as we have informed them of my mum's death and as my dad owns half the house we know he will have to start paying for his own care. We had lots of questions as you can imagine but after promising to reply a few weeks ago and us chasing them up they seem to be ignoring us.
Sorry to go on but this has been an extremely distressful time for us all.