We have just been trough a similar situation with my elderly Dad who is 92. We struggled with him and StepMum.for over 5years, im the only child and step mothers son lives over 200 miles away, so we became the 'go to' contacts in times of crisis, until Step Mother passed away two years ago and left Dad on his own. The GP became a big help to us, she organised a CPN and a Social worker, we hired in a local care agency to do a daily visit to check on Dad, but he started to suffer falls, and refused to have one of the panic alarms fitted simply because he was obsessed regarding money and didnt want to pay for it.
My own mobility is very poor, and my husband is 80 and not so active as he used to be. As time progressed, Dads demands became greater, including him ringing us in the early hours of the morning just because he wanted to chat about trivial things. Just before last Christmas, he suffered a nasty fall and couldnt get himself up out of his hallway. He managed to knockhis phone off the hall table using his walking stick, and called.me . We drove straight to him, 15 miles away from.our own home. Neither of us could lift him up to get him.onto a chair, and he was desparate for the toilet. The Ambulance took 5 hours to arrive, he then refused to go to hospital, despite needing several stitches to his arm where he had split it open on the edge of the doorway as he fell. Luckily, l do.have Power of atourney for him, and was able to.overide his wishes in a Best interest decision. So they took him to A&E against his will. He remained in hospital for several weeks, a case conference was held, and a place found for him.in a local care home, where he still remains. It was no longer safe for him to remain home alone at anytime, he was struggling in many ways, and said he felt lonely. he has asked us several.times to take him.back home, but its simply not safe or practical to do so. Getting power of Attourney for someone after they have lost Mental capacity is very difficult indeed. They need to be able to pass the memory test before they are deamed fit to consent and appoint an attourney in the eyes of the law. Thankfully Dad did this a couple of years ago when he fully understood the implications of what he was actually signing to consent to. If the Social services end up going down the route of making a Best interest decision on a clients behalf, and they have available funds, they can claim the costs for this back from the client, and it becomes a much more expensive approach than if the Client had appointed their own Power of Attourney in the first place.