My mothers husband died in June. They lived in Scarborough, miles from any family. My Mum is 89 and has already had several falls. After selling her house, my brother moved her down to Surrey. I suggested that she would be better off in a sheltered housing development, My brother, who is single (although he has a girlfriend) insisted that sheltered housing wasn't a good idea and that if she bought a non retitement flat, he would move in with her. Of course she was delighted about this and I must say that he has put the slant on it that sheltered housing is virtually a care home, as now my Mum says that she would hate to live in one of those places. They have already agreed to purchase a 2 bedroomed non retirement flat, which is all going through and then a few weeks ago he announced that he wouldn't be moving in with her full time after all and would only be staying with her 3 nights a week and that she will be fine with a panic button. After hearing this, I travelled to Surrey and I persuaded her to look at some retirement developments before signing any contracts. She looked at 5 and 4 of them she didn't like, but one of them was really lovely. Small and friendly. The flat was on the ground floor with french doors on to a lovely garden, pulleys in every room and the warden came and introduced herself. My Mum said that she liked it and then my brother said to her that if she bought that, he would never come and stay with her and why on earth would she want to live in one of those places. Of course she then agreed with him and said he was right and that they should proceed with the other flat. The flat they are buying is behind a row of shops and the only view is the car park. I hate to think of her being on her own and never being able to sit out on a nice day. The other thing to add is that in about 3 years time, my brother intends to buy a house with his girtlfriend, when her daughter goes to university. I can't think what my brothers motives are apart from the fact that he is currently living in a small flat and will have more room in the flat that they are buying, however he says that what they are doing is in Mums best interest. I have had to back off as it was becoming quite unpleasant, with my Mum saying that I was trying to spoil her happiness and receiving very bossy e-mails from my brother, shouting down every point I made.I can't see that money is the motive, as the flat will be in my mum's name and also my brothers girlfriend owns about 4 properties. So, we will just have to wait until she has a fall or they decide to go on holiday, to see how this is going to pan out. I must say that DH, DS and DD all agree with me but it is of no use! Any thoughts on this?
Another welcoming into Soop's kitchen for those who care to share...