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Care & carers

Struggling with my mums carers

(29 Posts)
Bel2109 Wed 29-Sep-21 01:21:46

So my my has 2 Carers 4 times a day and I live with my mum and the problem I'm having is lack of respect. They leave things a mess after they have finished caring for my mum, they send Carers who do not understand basic English which is difficult for my mum. They also send new staff to shadow bit they do not ask my mums permission they just send them here which my mum hates being watched by strangers, when she complains all they say is well how are the new staff going to learn if you don't let them watch!. What I find difficult is they come in and do not greet me just walk straight past me and recently came in arguing with me about the fact I complained as I didn't want them putting the aprons they have been using to care for my mum into my kitchen bin unwrapped. They also leave used gloves laying around and faeces on the floor in my mums room which I have to tidy up. They have also left the front door wide open when my mum was upstairs bearing in mind she is confined to a wheelchair and can't move unaided. They have also left our key lock wide open on several occasions and left the tap running upstairs which oiled our kitchen and electrics. The thing that annoyed me is to come into my house shouting and arguing with me is totally disrespectful. My mums gets frustrated with them at times but is overall happy with them it's just me that seems to have the issue. Even the owner came in the house and left and both times totally ignored me and that's there leader so to speak! I've had an issue with medication where the carers gave my mum less of a certain medication over a period of time and I got the evidence on CCTV but the two carers involved denied they reduced my mums medicationand because the MARS chart was signed showing no changes there was no evidence to prove they did it but this particular medication was to treat nerve pain in my mums mouth and gradually the pain got worse. When the care manager came she started my mum back on normal dose and her pain improved. So my suspicion is they lied but no concrete evidence and this particular carer the manager thinks the sun shines out of her ..

Txquiltz Wed 29-Sep-21 01:33:47

Is there a government or licensing board that certifies these “carers”? I would report them right away. Document dates and times particularly in regards to your mum’s direct care. This should be in writing. Send as copy to her doctor as well. Although there are issues of abusive actions toward you, concentrate on the care your mum is receiving. Also be sure to mention the deplorable handling of contaminated dressings and/or linens. This is elder abuse in its worst form.

welbeck Wed 29-Sep-21 01:49:58

unfortunately this not unusual.
who pays for this care.
does your mother have capacity.
sounds like it needs to be a different agency.
they should remove all used items, bag them up securely tied, and place in outside dustbin. that is basic.
and of course they should leave the room and surroundings clean.
the whole thing is wrong, as you know.
is there a care manager, from local authority or NHS.
you need to make a formal complaint in writing/email.
detail each point briefly.
emphasise lack of hygienic practice.
i wish you well.
is there a carers' centre near you. they can advise.
good luck.

Lolo81 Wed 29-Sep-21 04:09:35

In Scotland all care professionals have to be registered with the SSSC - not sure where you are, but there may be an equivalent if you’re elsewhere in the UK.
Regarding meds - has your mum got a blister pack? That might be helpful, if the pain meds are additional then could you liaise with the chemist to have them supplied in blister packs so that they’re a timed/accounted for medication? That way if they’re not administered then the meds are still in the packaging.
Is it a private company supplied via the council? There may be more than one company for your area - so you could request a change?
Agree with other posters, everything should be in writing, email after every infringement. Ultimately the care commission is the governing body, but in order to have your concerns taken seriously I’d be inclined to go through the process of writing to the company, escalate to local authority, SSSC (or equivalent) before going to the care commission.
Highlight the security issue with the keypad, the hygiene issues (if it happens again please take pictures), medication issues. Ultimately your mum’s rights and care are paramount and should be taken seriously - this company sounds severely lacking.

V3ra Wed 29-Sep-21 06:39:22

This is a dreadful example of home care, I'm so sorry for you both.
Does your mum have a social worker you can report this to and talk to?

BigBertha1 Wed 29-Sep-21 06:40:52

If you are in England the care again nay is probably commissioned by your local authority Social Services department. They are responsible for safeguarding your mother. I would ring them today and say you wish to report a safeguarding issue.

Septimia Wed 29-Sep-21 08:48:32

When my FiL needed carers they had to be put in place at short notice, so we were pleased to find a company that would do that. He was paying for them as he wasn't entitled to free care. At first they were very good, one young woman in particular. However, as he began to need more done for him they failed to step up to the mark, stayed much less than the time paid for and didn't follow instructions.

Eventually we changed to another company. What a difference! They were really so much better and did all that was asked of them. Unfortunately FiL had a fall - they found him - went to hospital and never made it home again to benefit from their care.

However, when he fell they rang us and we drove the 50 minute journey to find not only the carer but the manager waiting for us to explain. I was certainly impressed.

So, if you can, see if you can find another company, either privately or through Social Services.

Shelflife Wed 29-Sep-21 09:04:02

I agree with the poster, this is abuse and sever neglect. Does your mum seem ' overall happy' with the carers Or is she too afraid of the consequences to complain?

You must take photos all the time and keep a diary of incidents, then report to the appropriate authority- ASAP!
These ' carers' are behaving in this appalling way simply because they can and know they are getting away with it. Please act immediately.

dragonfly46 Wed 29-Sep-21 09:15:44

This sounds shocking. My experience with carers for my parents has always been good.
I your mum is not self funding I would contact Social Services. If she is then change to another company.

Does the CQC regulate Care Companies? It might be worthy contacting them.

dragonfly46 Wed 29-Sep-21 09:17:41

I have checked and the CQC do regulate Care in the home so I would contact them.

Shelflife Wed 29-Sep-21 09:22:48

I am surprised that carers have the authority to reduce medication, please someone correct me if I am wrong.

Barmeyoldbat Wed 29-Sep-21 09:31:57

You don’t have to keep these careers. Complain to Social Services and tell you want them removed ASAP. They will try and talk you round but stand your ground and get new careers in. I did this with my daughter and it was the best thing we ever did. Her carers are wonderful, they don’t always get things right but they are and listen.

sodapop Wed 29-Sep-21 10:02:09

I don't think you will have much luck with the CQC unfortunately, they are a fairly useless body. I understand your frustration Bel2019 but you need to pick your battles, start trying to change the things which concern you most and don't worry too much about the small stuff. In the meantime look at changing your care provider. Make sure you have evidence of this lack of proper care etc.

nanna8 Wed 29-Sep-21 10:10:52

Definitely report them, they are abusing your mum. Don’t take no for an answer,either. I felt upset on your behalf just reading what you are going through.

GillT57 Wed 29-Sep-21 11:12:19

the important issue here is who is paying for this? If your Mother is self funding, find more carers, taking care to report these dreadful ones to the CQC. The standard of care here is utterly dreadful, and it sounds as if they do not even know the very basics of hygiene if they are dumping used care products in your kitchen bin and leaving faeces on the floor, let alone the safety and security issues you have mentioned. If the carers are provided by SS you need to report them immediately as they are quite simply dangerous. Please don't think that all carers are the same though, the ones we used for my late DM were excellent. Good luck, this sounds awful.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 29-Sep-21 17:05:14

Can’t you change them? I’m not familiar with how the care system works, but aren’t they agencies? Like nursing agencies who I have worked for?

If you had a team of workman you weren’t satisfied with, you’d sack them and get someone else if the problem couldn’t be resolved.

It must be horrendous for you both. You simply do need it.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 29-Sep-21 17:05:47

don’t need it....sorry 😡

Grandmafrench Wed 29-Sep-21 17:43:01

Some points raised by posters here are of real importance, Bel.

I do agree that CQC will probably be a waste of time and will be far too slow and hesitant to respond and deal with this urgently.

However, angry and upset you feel for your Mum and for yourself in the way that you are being disrespected, try to mount a strong campaign by keeping to the facts which will get your Mum's case the most attention - or should do.

Don't waste time or energy in complaining to all or any of the carers or their employers. Start at the top, with Social Services. Any complaints you do make should be in writing only. Keep copies, take photographs, have a file documenting all and every incident or safety issue or hygiene issue. Complain directly to Social Services (Adult Social Care?) and raise this as a safeguarding issue for your Mum. Hopefully your Mum will have a Social Worker - although in lots of areas they are in short supply and it's not always possible for a client to have the same Social Worker year on year. Wonder if she is due for a review - to establish whether she needs more care?

Whatever you do, every time you feel you need to complain and once you have sent off your first letter, make sure you keep a record of events and any issues which aren't resolved or which worry you subsequently. Don't let them turn your opinion of the people caring for your Mum into something personal, and possibly take the view that it's just you who don't like the people caring for your Mum. Keep in strictly business-like and impersonal, or this will deflect from the seriousness of your complaints. You want to speak up for your Mum, so stick to facts as they relate to her and her care. Don't talk about their behaviour towards you! It will give them a get-out and distract from your valid concerns.

Make sure your concerns with regard to hygiene, cleanliness, leaving your Mum's home as they find it, properly bagging up everything for safe disposal, etc. are raised. Ask that they give consideration to your Mum's case as a matter of urgency and if you don't receive a response within 7 days, in writing, write to them again.

People, whether genuinely overworked or just sloppy, will nowadays avoid letters and putting anything in writing if they possibly can. Telephone calls, messages, emails, anything informal and done at speed will be used wherever possible. Don't let your complaints be dismissed like this. You need to request a proper investigation, maybe replacement of the present carers or agency, a review of her meds', time spent on her care, and ensure that a copy of your letter goes to her GP. Good luck.

Shinamae Wed 29-Sep-21 17:46:28

Grandmafrench

Some points raised by posters here are of real importance, Bel.

I do agree that CQC will probably be a waste of time and will be far too slow and hesitant to respond and deal with this urgently.

However, angry and upset you feel for your Mum and for yourself in the way that you are being disrespected, try to mount a strong campaign by keeping to the facts which will get your Mum's case the most attention - or should do.

Don't waste time or energy in complaining to all or any of the carers or their employers. Start at the top, with Social Services. Any complaints you do make should be in writing only. Keep copies, take photographs, have a file documenting all and every incident or safety issue or hygiene issue. Complain directly to Social Services (Adult Social Care?) and raise this as a safeguarding issue for your Mum. Hopefully your Mum will have a Social Worker - although in lots of areas they are in short supply and it's not always possible for a client to have the same Social Worker year on year. Wonder if she is due for a review - to establish whether she needs more care?

Whatever you do, every time you feel you need to complain and once you have sent off your first letter, make sure you keep a record of events and any issues which aren't resolved or which worry you subsequently. Don't let them turn your opinion of the people caring for your Mum into something personal, and possibly take the view that it's just you who don't like the people caring for your Mum. Keep in strictly business-like and impersonal, or this will deflect from the seriousness of your complaints. You want to speak up for your Mum, so stick to facts as they relate to her and her care. Don't talk about their behaviour towards you! It will give them a get-out and distract from your valid concerns.

Make sure your concerns with regard to hygiene, cleanliness, leaving your Mum's home as they find it, properly bagging up everything for safe disposal, etc. are raised. Ask that they give consideration to your Mum's case as a matter of urgency and if you don't receive a response within 7 days, in writing, write to them again.

People, whether genuinely overworked or just sloppy, will nowadays avoid letters and putting anything in writing if they possibly can. Telephone calls, messages, emails, anything informal and done at speed will be used wherever possible. Don't let your complaints be dismissed like this. You need to request a proper investigation, maybe replacement of the present carers or agency, a review of her meds', time spent on her care, and ensure that a copy of your letter goes to her GP. Good luck.

Extremely well said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

GillT57 Wed 29-Sep-21 17:52:05

I too agree with Grandmafrench. Keep your complaints to matters of hygiene and safeguarding, the lack of politeness is irritating but it is not a contractual requirement to speak to you. Of all your valid concerns, I think the lack of security and safety when they leave your Mother with her home unsecured is the most serious. Good luck, keep us posted

Txquiltz Wed 29-Sep-21 19:16:31

One poster questioned carers adjusting dosages of medication. I cannot speak to British law, but the prescribing physician may include dosing orders to allow RNs…certainly not untrained carers, to make adjustments. Usually this would be for a patient with respiratory issue where dosage amounts could have an impact on their breathing,

Luckygirl Wed 29-Sep-21 22:35:43

Speak to the CQC.

DiscoDancer1975 Thu 30-Sep-21 07:43:45

GillT57

I too agree with Grandmafrench. Keep your complaints to matters of hygiene and safeguarding, the lack of politeness is irritating but it is not a contractual requirement to speak to you. Of all your valid concerns, I think the lack of security and safety when they leave your Mother with her home unsecured is the most serious. Good luck, keep us posted

Sorry, but I don’t agree with this. Lack of basic manners shows lack of professionalism, which in turn will affect the way your mum is treated.

There must be many people out there who would love to do this job, and would do it well. It’s just finding them.

Luckygirl Thu 30-Sep-21 08:56:25

The medication errors are a big red flag.

I am assuming these are agency carers - the agency needs to know and CQC needs to know.

Luckygirl Thu 30-Sep-21 08:58:18

I went for a walk one day and came back and found that a carer had given my OH one tablet and was about give another - the carers were not supposed to give the meds at all (I was doing it); he was not due any meds at that moment; and the dose he was about to give could have been lethal.