Gransnet forums

Care & carers

Getting a anther house for my mother

(22 Posts)
sasu Tue 30-Nov-21 21:45:01

Hello need some advise what to expect my mother use to live with my sister in her house ( i also live with my sister got divorced) my mum is originally from colombia and went back now we decided to bring her back as she is not getting the right treatment there but the problem is their is no space at the house my sister has a bigger family and rooms are small and to good access to toilets and my mother is over 80 with very reduced mobility will the government help us out if they see their is no space in my sisters house and if she says she can not keep her anymore? will they give her a property? etc

what are the possible scenarios

Hetty58 Tue 30-Nov-21 21:57:56

No, they won't. If she has residency here, she may get a place in a care home. Her reduced mobility would probably rule out even temporary accommodation. Your sister's overcrowding would be irrelevant, too, as she isn't living there at present.

sasu Tue 30-Nov-21 22:08:31


No, they won't. If she has residency here, she may get a place in a care home. Her reduced mobility would probably rule out even temporary accommodation. Your sister's overcrowding would be irrelevant, too, as she isn't living there at present.

her last adress was my sisters adresss so she will be coming back to her house she will be sleeping in the living room 80 years old and wont be able to go upstairs for the toilet are you saying if they see this they wont offer her property and i up for being her full time carer? what if my sister also says she can not keep her in the house so they will just say she must stay without helping her ? thanks for the replies

aggie Tue 30-Nov-21 22:15:48

Coming to England might not be very easy with the pandemic at the minute . Regarding accommodation it is up to you to find a private rental , again this won’t be easy with the panic of this Virus , look into care homes as already suggestion , I guess she will be expected to pay for this

MissAdventure Tue 30-Nov-21 22:17:50

There is a huge demand for properties, with many, many people waiting, so I doubt your mum would be a priority.
You may be able to get help to adapt your sisters house so that your mum can get upstairs for the toilet, though.

Namsnanny Tue 30-Nov-21 22:34:07

There are many practical ways of helping your Mother if she lives with your sister.
The authorities may or may not help your sister financially with them. It's all a bit of a lottery at times.

Hetty58 Tue 30-Nov-21 22:41:25

sasu, apologies for my blunt reply - but there are really limited options. If she has hospital in-patient treatment, she will have a needs assessment before discharge. Please get advice from Age UK before making any arrangements.

Jane43 Tue 30-Nov-21 22:57:42

They would probably arrange for a stair lift to be installed so that she can get upstairs.

Casdon Tue 30-Nov-21 23:07:09

Here’s the relevant document sasu
As I read it, if your mother isn’t a British citizen, she is likely to be given permission to remain in the UK as an adult dependent relative, but she will not be entitled to any state funded support for 5 years after approval, she would have to be supported by her sponsor (ie you and your sister).

welbeck Tue 30-Nov-21 23:23:05

OP, do you or your sister have settled status in the uk, or are a UK citizen ?

welbeck Tue 30-Nov-21 23:28:58

Casdon, i've only read a part of that document, and it is not well drafted, imo, but the 5 year conditions, as i read it only apply to ADRs whose sponsor is not either, a uk citizen, nor has not yet obtained settled status.
extract from the policy intentions:
to ensure that those ADRs whose needs can only be reasonably and
adequately met in the UK are granted immediate settled status (where their sponsor
has this or is a British citizen) and full access to the NHS and local authority social
care services

Casdon Tue 30-Nov-21 23:35:17

You may well be right welbeck, I only briefly looked at it - I’m sure the definitive answer should be somewhere in the document anyway, which is what sasu needs to know for her specific family circumstances.

Esspee Wed 01-Dec-21 02:04:44

There is an ethical dimension to this situation. Why should you expect the British taxpayer to provide accommodation for your mother? She is the responsibility of your family. If she can legally join you then you should provide accommodation.
Sorry if this upsets you but has your mother ever paid taxes or national insurance here?

fiorentina51 Wed 01-Dec-21 08:25:21

My own experiences with two elderly relatives who could no longer access an upstairs bathroom were much the same in each case.
Installing a stairlift, at our own expense, or a commode provided by occupational therapy and basic, strip washing using a plastic bowl.
The stairlift was not a route we could go down as the staircase was too narrow so it had to be a commode.
My aunt was eventually rehoused from a 3 bed family home to a one bed bungalow which made life better.
In the case of my mother, she was terminally ill and died at home after 3 months of being discharged from hospital.

Hetty58 Wed 01-Dec-21 08:34:37

fiorentina51, yes, access to a bathroom is not considered essential. My friend (much younger, 58) was sent home from hospital to her front room - commode and carers - when terminally ill. We tried to get her back door changed, so her wheelchair could be taken outside - but no - then had a whip round with neighbours to pay for it.

sasu Wed 01-Dec-21 09:47:54


OP, do you or your sister have settled status in the uk, or are a UK citizen ?

yes all of us are brtish citzens

Peasblossom Wed 01-Dec-21 10:00:35

If your mother is a British citizen returning to Britain then she will be in the same position as any British citizen.

The ‘government’ doesn’t allocate housing. LocalAuthorities do and there is very little available, especially for older people.

You could put her name down for Local Authority sheltered accommodation . It’s scarce ( or might be non-existent in your area) so it will be a very long wait. Years.

Or you can apply for a place in a Care Home. Then her needs will be assessed and her ability to pay. You won’t be able to chose the Home. It will be the cheapest they can find.

They may not agree that she needs residential care. In which case she will continue to live with your sister.

What you won’t get is a little flat for her to live in. There just aren’t many available and there is a long, long waiting list. Even if your mum meets the criteria for a flat, again it could be years before one is available.

Practically, if she returns I think you have to accept that she will be your responsibility.

M0nica Wed 01-Dec-21 10:19:00

How long was your mother living in the UK before she went back to Columbia and how long has she been living there before deciding to return?

Is/was your father British. Did he receive a State Pension? Has your mother worked in the UK? Does she receive a State Pension in her own right?

If she spent her married life in this country, has not been out of the country for long, and receives a state pension and is entitled to all the benefits that go with receipt of such a pension, it is possible that if she rented a flat privately she could get Housing Benefit to help pay the rent and Council Tax benefit. If she is in need of physical help, she could be entitled to Attendance Allowance.

The best thing to do is to visit your local Citizens Advice, or better still, contact your local branch of Age UK and they will have the expertise to advise you.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 01-Dec-21 10:47:30

That was a very helpful post as usual MOnica. I hope we shall hear that OP’s mother is entitled to a State pension, otherwise Espee has voiced my thoughts very well.

luluaugust Wed 01-Dec-21 16:15:43

I think you should accept that if you bring your mother back here she will be living with you and your sister, after all as you say that is her address in this country. Getting any other kind of accommodation is going to be difficult, doubly so at present, certainly getting someone else to pay for it. I have a friend who found it easier in the end to fund her mother in her original home country.

Namsnanny Wed 01-Dec-21 19:16:33

sasu... To be honest, and on reflection the problem of your Mothers welfare is too complicated to be easily answered on a forum like this.
Much better to get dependable info from the right gov. agency or try Citizens advice.

trisher Wed 01-Dec-21 20:13:42

As I see it sasu you could move out of your sister's house and rent somewhere yourself, leaving space for your mother, or you could rent somewhere big enough for you and your mother, or you could extend and adapt you sister's house so there is room for you all and ground floor facilities for your mum. I do wonder if you can afford to pay for her travel from Colombia why can't you afford to house her?