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I feel so guilty ------

(7 Posts)
riclorian Fri 09-Dec-11 14:38:11

because I am sitting here with a very painful shingles rash while my dd is in the process of moving house and I can do nothing to help her . My DH is there along with her 3 adult children and 2 friends so I know she is not coping alone , but I feel I should be there as well . When will I sit back and realise that my children are adults and can cope without me ??

bagitha Fri 09-Dec-11 14:43:57

Sorry about the shingles, riclorian. A friend of mine had it recently. But remember that thousands of people move house every day without their parents' help and they manage just fine. smile

Annobel Fri 09-Dec-11 14:51:02

Guilty? of what? Infecting yourself with shingles to get out of helping with the move?
Try to relax, though I know it isn't easy with shingles. It's a hard admission to make - that you aren't indispensable after all. thanks

JessM Fri 09-Dec-11 14:52:01

Yup I moved house about a dozen times during my first marriage and I don't think we had any parental help!
There was one particularly grim occasion when exH was already in London and I was organising the move, ably assisted by a 7 year old and a 10 month old. No car. It was the winter of discontent and transport was a problem.
The only help i got was a neighbour who helped me get things out of the loft. And I leaned on another person to take us to the station (i think there was a petrol shortage or something on?) in Manchester (about 30 mins away) after the removal lorry had left.
Your job is to look after yourself, rest and get better!
My DIL has shingles at the moment and is finding it very strange. She knows she needs to rest but like you she feels she should be busy and working and looking after people...

harrigran Fri 09-Dec-11 17:43:39

Your DD will manage just fine, you need to take care of yourself. I had shingles a couple of years ago and it made me very ill so I know how you are feeling.
When I moved into my present home I was 8 months pregnant and my DD just 2. Not one member of either family offered help but that was the way, you just got on with it.

gracesmum Fri 09-Dec-11 17:49:50

riclorian - you are ILL so stop feeling you are letting anybody down! Would anybody thank you for giving them chickenpox? No? There you are, then. Nobody ever helped us with moving, our parents (in their 50's at that time) certainly seemed much too old to do anything and kept their heads well down! Concentrate on resting and getting better so that you can enjoy Christmas.
Now, has anybody got any less-painful excuses I can use should any of our grown up children want help with anything that sounds strenuous? smile

Annobel Fri 09-Dec-11 20:33:04

Buy a walking stick, gracesmum. Adopt a convincing limp...grin