Us racy?

"The bossy old git who created Iraq" Right. You've lost me now!

(I thought Iraq was just there (unless you mean God?!))

No some very dominant Englishwoman drew all yhe boundary lines round there. Haven't you noticed how relatively straight they are? I'm going on to google, the name Bell is niggling me!

Good old google! Yes I was right .gertrude Bell. Google her jingle, she was a fascinating woman!

Oh I've heard of her!

Will google.

Did Gertrude Bell quiz people about their sex lives?

Wouldn't surprise me from what I've heard of her!

Where are the present day Gertrude Bells when we need them?! (just googled)

SEX FURNITURE ??!!?? Dare I ask for clarification?

I was wondering but didn't like to appear hignorant!

Google it and all will become clear!!!

I don't think so! This is a work laptop that has to be taken to the office from time to time to have the anti virus updated, I do enough non-work stuff on it as it is, without being marked as some sort of aged pervert!

The daft thing is that the "sex furniture" stuff was never required for the activities it facilitates when we were young because we were a) imaginative and b) supple. If we feel like carrying on being imaginative and supple, maybe some of us need a bit of physical support. However, I would bet a million pounds that they are not going to advertise their swings, belts and cushions with an image of a woman my age.

It'll be the strap on willies and suchlike. (that I never knew existed!)

You obviously looked at it much more closely than I did absent!

One look at those dildo things and I was off!

That's put me right off my tea!

I didn't look closely enough to find "dildo things", which I would suggest don't constitute "furniture". Not my cup of tea, but presumably good for some. As I said, sex is odd and usually very funny.

I don't thing they were called dildos. I think that's something else.

See, I am totallyout of my depth here!!!

I haven't looked at all. (smiley somewhere between smug and with a halo on)

But if I am guessing right (which I'm probably not) trying to sell specialised "sex furniture" to people who have a "make do and mend" attitude, would not seem to be an ideal business model. Mind you, there's always those with more money than sense.

Can you imagine a special episode of Super Scrimpers?

"Why buy a specialist item of sex furniture, when you can just put the ironing board on a low height setting and prostrate yourself across it? Let Jillian show you how......"

Or " Just look at the price of these brand name dildos, why buy these when there are probably items in your cupboard that will do the job just as well, for a fraction of the cost, Mrs Moneypenny carries out an in-depth, pentrating interview........"

Don't bother, I'll get my coat.

MY mind is boggling and I thought I was broad minded! Ironing boards? Tins of sphagghetti? I've heard of a small bust of Queen Victoria, and ladies injuring themselves when using an upright vacuum cleaner! But ironing boards?

Oh dear, ignore my ramblings re ironing boards, but tins of spaghetti, a bust of Queen Victoria ????????????? I am now completely confuddled.

Don't ask! You don't want to know

I wonder if Susie Godson is reading this?

What about Victoria Wood's suggestion.......' bend me over backward on the hostess trolley' ? Do those things have brakes?

I don't think so and you do have to make sure they are switched off or things might get hotter than intended!

Mine doesntJ,