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The Saga of the Argos Sofa Bed, chapter 1 (previously posted on another site)

(27 Posts)
Anne58 Tue 06-Mar-12 20:55:47

OK, as some of you may be aware, today was the delivery day for my long awaited sofabed. The chaps phoned at 7.15 am, & duly arrived at approx. 7.40.

They refused to take it upstairs (Elf & Safety) and left it in the hall, so I had to suffer a blocked passage all day until Mr Phoenix came home.

He looked at the item, said "it's big isn't it, we might have a bit of trouble with that on the bend in the stairs"

I poured myself a glass of wine, to dull the throbbing pain from having my lip waxed & agreed with him.

We eventually worked out that actually dismantling parts of it (perfectly dismantlable parts, but not included in the instructions, but Mr Phoenix IS an engineer, & they were only a couple of bolts) would help & between us heaved the beast upstairs, where we proceeded to re-mantle it.(Don't care if there's no such word, there bloody well is now)

At this point, it may be helpful if I gave you the catalogue numer of the product in question, I do apologise, links are beyond me, but if you go to the website, it is 6366432. (I don't want any comments on the item, I too thought it hideous, but it looked as if it might be more comfortable to sleep on than some of the others on offer)

If you look at the item, & click on the "enlarge" box, you will see it in bed mode. NB this is probably no longer on the website, thank goodness, so do not get confused if you lookfor that product number and find instead a thermal toilet seat or somesuch.

Mr Phoenix was of the opinion that it might tip over, as the bed bit seemed to overhang the base section.

I told him not to be silly, that Argos would never sell something that hadn't been tested.

Gentle reader, prepare yourself for a shock.

He, a man, was right, & I was wrong.

We put the thing into bed mode, & lay down upon it, as if we were the guests that we are expecting soon. He then instructed me to get up, as if I were going to get a glass of water (or something). I, being an obedient wife, acquiesced.

Sure enough, it tipped over.

I rang Argos, & explained my concerns, highlighting the fact that my friend is 4ft 10 tall, & weighs about 9 st. Her husband is 6ft & approx. 16st. I said that I was worried about her being catapulted out of the window.

They offered me a replacement.

I asked " Friend, sofabed, or window?"

I think we got cut off.

Annobel Tue 06-Mar-12 21:08:17

phoenix grin. Hysterical. I just wish I'd gone to the loo before I read it. wink

Anne58 Tue 06-Mar-12 21:10:55

Glad that you enjoyed i! I think I will wait awhile before posting chapter 2......

jeni Tue 06-Mar-12 21:17:28

Looking forward to it!

gracesmum Tue 06-Mar-12 21:23:48

Warn us to go to the loo first, won't you?
This is every bit as good as the wonderful Gerald Hoffnung's story about the bricklayer.

gracesmum Tue 06-Mar-12 21:26:43

numberplease Tue 06-Mar-12 21:29:09

Can`t wait for chapter 2!

Annobel Tue 06-Mar-12 21:32:00

As good as some of the stories I get (often about Argos) at the CAB - but those are confidential.

Jacey Wed 07-Mar-12 13:03:49

grin ...looking forward to part 2!

glammanana Wed 07-Mar-12 23:22:15

girl's this could become an unmissable series !!! it's a good job my botox works well !!

Annobel Wed 07-Mar-12 23:29:06

I'm gagging for Part 2. I think she's teasing us by making us wait.

Anne58 Thu 08-Mar-12 18:54:43

glammanana whatever do you mean? I'm intrigued by the botox comment!

jeni Thu 08-Mar-12 18:58:20

Botox for bladder or face?

bikergran Thu 08-Mar-12 18:59:49

lol lol grin lol....

Anne58 Thu 08-Mar-12 19:07:53

Aaah, Jeni thanks for that, I'd forgotten that Botox can be used "down below" , as my gran used to say.

Bikergran, I gather you are amused? Glad to hear it, although I should warn you I once did something about the use of LOL....................

JessM Thu 08-Mar-12 19:14:05

she had bladder botox and it worked. Mysterious but true. smile

Anne58 Thu 08-Mar-12 19:35:47

Now that you mention it, I remember a work colleague mentioning this in relation to her mother, I suppose the paralysis effect of botox works.

Annobel Thu 08-Mar-12 20:22:46

I once had a mature student who was being treated for 'wry neck' (dystonia) with injections of botulinum.

jeni Thu 08-Mar-12 20:24:12

Standard treatment! Also used for aphonia.

Anne58 Mon 12-Mar-12 20:23:55


Well, my lovelies, how much longer shall we wait for chapter 2?

It could, of course be a big let down, after all, how many sequels have been such a disppointment ?

One only has to think of (please post your own personal favourites)..........

Annobel Mon 12-Mar-12 20:36:54

phoenix, if you keep us waiting much longer, I will come to the conclusion that there is no part 2! hmm

JessM Mon 12-Mar-12 22:44:30

yr just a minx and a tease phoenix

Anne58 Tue 13-Mar-12 20:44:27

Moi? I don't think so, there definitely is a part 2, which will follow in due course.............

Shame I can't retrieve some of the interim posts, i.e my responses to the replies, if that makes sense. I only have the op's.

Oh well............... (Imagine a deep, gravelly voice type thing) "Coming soon, to a forum near you, "The Argos Sofa Bed Saga, Part 2" Starring Victoria Wood as Phoenix, Julie Walters as the Argos advisor, and George Clooney as the bed tester, with a cameo role for Johnny Deppe as the Trading Standards Officer"

"You will gasp in shock, you will tremble in awe, you will never see a sofa bed in the same light agaain, you might even have tears running down your legs, but it's not guaranteed"

Jacey Tue 13-Mar-12 20:47:48

So pleased to see your sense of humour has risen to the surface again flowers

Anne58 Tue 13-Mar-12 20:53:59

Jacey, it is always sort of there, it's the way I am. I remember when I went for the interview for my current job, telling them that I cannot work without humour. However I'm having a few bad moments at present, but this is not the thread for it!

Anyway, on with the fun, and bollocks to the rest of it for now.