Loneliness is more dangerous to our health in retirement than smoking.

There are one or two in the 80s. If it's any comfort, chitchat, I've been feeling about 90 recently!

Welcome, Chitchat. I'm 71 and a great grandmother but it doesn't bother me. My sister, who is 75, attends two groups which are subsidised by her local council for the hire of a room in the library. They have talks from interesting speakers and go for days out and to the theatre. She has made some really good friends there.
I live alone in an isolated part of France, but I am one of those odd people who actually enjoy it.

JessM I'm an expat from Yorkshire and now live in South Germany in a small, pretty market town 70 miles south of Heidelberg.

It's true I have no profile, I am a bit wary of putting my details on an internet site.

chitchat welcome to GN don't worry about age on here we are all young in the virtual world of GN.

Oh right expat how do you find integrating in another culture?
I also have those inclinations to keep some privacy. But I am going to have to break cover with the publication of my ebook. This feels very weird. I would prefer to hide but if I do, I won't sell books. So I am told. [nervous emoticon]

This is one of the reasons I come onto GN which I thoroughly enjoy. I am now so integrated in German culture- I love the language and the countryside, the orderliness, the cleanliness, the way everything functions. I like the way the Germans seperate business from pleasure because when they are having good time then there is always a terrific atmosphere. I am also rather intellectual in my taste and what I read and watch on TV and in Germany that is 100% Ok it upsets nobody. I was once told off on GN for being too intellectual and intelligent.

I feel quite cut off from the younger generation in the UK and now only enjoy the company of older people like on GN or my family. I look after a German u3a course in the UK run by my sister-in-law which I enjoy and wish that more young British people would learn German because they are crying out for young people to fill job vacancies here.
Maybe I'll put a profile on but without photos.
Good luck Jess with your book. I have had a few articles printed in Uk magazines but am too lazy to write a book for the reasons you mentioned.

Oh well you can join me in an intellectuals corner if you like expat . Serious minded and proud of it. (But doesn't mean we can't have a GSOH !)

Oh, dear, are we not allowed to be intellectuals?
I get great amusement from the 'I am more integrated than you' threads on the French expat forums. Some boast that they don't watch UK tv - more fool them, it is probably still the best in the world and I make no comment on French tv! Some say they avoid all contact with fellow Britons, or that they are a pillar of the village community. Some boast about how good their French is.
Some spend a lot of time running down

oops, computer jumped the gun - we need an 'edit' function.
Some spend a lot of time running down Britain and all things British - they would never eat any British food, etc.
I didn't integrate in England and there is nobody around me now with whom I could integrate. I speak enough French, have UK television, I still love the English sense of irony and the beautiful countryside of Britain, if I do happen to come across any English-speaking people (I haven't so far in 18 months here) I will gladly chat but I don't look for them.
I very much doubt if anyone emigrating to France after spending most of their life in the UK will ever fully understand the French psyche or culture.

I don't why the Brits like France so much. I'm so glad that they don't like Germany. I would hate to have whole villages taken over by Brits and like you say it doesn't sound cosy on the French expat forums.

I like Uk TV but think that we have more choice in Germany because each Land( county) has its own TV and some of these programs are very good,I also watch ARTE the French/German TV. I have no use for the other 200? channels.
Best of the BBC is Radio4 which I listen to everyday and wouldn't change that for anybodys TV.
greatnan I didn't like that snide remark 'Oh dear are we not allowed to be intellectuals: that reaction is exactly what I meant!

I think Greatnan was actually sympathising with the fact that you had been "told off", expatmaggie, not being "snide". Perhaps you are a little over-sensitive?

Yes I think she was just a bit surprised at your comment expat
I see her as a leader of thoughtful debate around here.

Expat, lived in Germany for 3 years (1987-1990) and loved it. Met some super people, including an 80 year old lady who enjoyed our small conversation group ( I was the only 'Brit' to turn up following an advert). She used to send me hand-made cards with little homilies when I returned to Blighty.
I particularly liked the seasonality of so many things, the 'birthdays' (even a water tower near where I lived had a celebration when it was re-roofed in gleaming copper.)
The coffee and cakes.... sorry I could go on and on!

Thanks for the support - I don't do 'snide' - if I want to challenge something with which I don't agree I do it in a very forthright way, I hope. I think that my occasional attempts at flippancy might be misundestood - I will have to get into the habit of using more smiley emoticons.

Thank goodness Jeni

The mistake greatnan made about my being "told off" was that I delighted in it. I wasn't at all upset as we had been discussing Europe. Indeed I thanked the poster and took it as a compliment that she thought I was too intellectual and intelligent for our GN discussion. It was New Year's Eve

I like all others appreciate greatnan's input to GN because I would not have the time to post so much and GN would soon fall to pieces if it depended on me.
As to being integrated then you have to be married to someone of your second nationality, to get really inside the family. German husband for 40 years, German children and German grandchildren. Of course I am fully integrated but it doesn't stop you being what you were born. For many years I always maintained I would like to be buried in England!
Somehow without my noticing it I no longer feel that way.

Back to the orignal subject of loneliness in old age. I think it is quite a natural state of being, for an older person. The last stage of coming to terms with what life throws at you. When you are the only person left who is 90+ you must feel bereft on bad days. The queen is an example of how we should all be treated. As if what we say is important. Asked to do things, praised, surrounded by family who all have to live near her. Yet who would really want her life?
P.S. If she reading this, she can comment.

I can't bear the integration debates on ex-pat forums either, but I do choose to spend quite a lot of my time with French friends and people in the village. I am an elected member of the local council and I like that too, my chance to do my bit. I admire your self-sufficiency Greatnan, but I go stir crazy if I don't see other people and talk to them. I am hopeless at my own company and just couldn't live like that. Each to his own, I guess. I also spend a bit of time with English people I know, but only about once or twice a month.

I think the queen is lurker on this site. Why wouldn't she be? It is her natural e-home isn't it? Maybe you could dip your toe into the waters and comment on the 'posh' thread yr Maj.

I do realise that few people would enjoy my lifestyle - isn't it good that we are all different?
I'm still not sure why expatmaggie took exception to my flippant comment, but I certainly did not mean to disparage her in any way.
I certainly do spend a lot of time posting on gransnet -I do it with my laptop on my knee whilst I am 'watching' TV or listening to Radio 4 - I like multi-tasking as feel I am getting every second's worth of life! I also get engaged in interesting discussions on various expat forums but I think the replies here are by far the most intelligent and informed. Of course, being retired and having such an easy flat to keep clean, I have more free time than most people.

As for being integrated, which expatmaggie obviously is, I think the German mindset is nearer to that of the English and easier to understand. The French are a law unto themselves which makes living here even more interesting.

I read your comment as "Oh dear is that someone (unnamed, not Expatmaggie) PC-ing us out of doing something else" , Greatnan , not as anything snide on EPM

Intellectual is good, though maybe on New Year's Eve someone did not welcome it.

Bring on the intellectuals I say!
I'm not one of them, but I do like to read all the differing outlooks and opinions on here.
I regard it as continuing my education!
However, I do like to have a giggle and not be too serious, and sometimes these threads do get a teeny bit heavy for me.

Love all you ladies

What is an intellectual anyway?

Why do you think intellectuals have no sense of humour? They are just like anybody else in fact they are very often funnier in an ironic, sardonic manner than those who don't consider themselves to be intellectuals.

If we are discussing death, dementia or dying with dignity -to name but a few threads, then if you want a giggle you don't go onto it. There are so many humorous threads on GN- I say let the serious people be serious without them getting hang ups about being too heavy. Let them be heavy if thats how they feel comfortable.
If you like a mix where intellectual posters make jokes and puns and can discuss serious themes and make people laugh at the same time then go ahead and do it!

An intellectual is somebody who can listen to The William Tell Overture without thinking of The Lone Ranger.
I love serious discussions and I also love light-hearted banter and I can claim to have posted the most jokes!

You'd have to be living where you are to hear the William Tell Overture.