Loneliness is more dangerous to our health in retirement than smoking.

" Get your retaliation in first! Don't wait for them to strike the first blow!" and them claim "They started it".

Major wars have happened that way.

Yes, I echo your last sentence Elegran. It's not necessary to jump down people's throats in anticipation of a discussion turning negative - all it does it create that very situation.

No *Charlotta", she said that she liked to read all the different outlooks and posts, but also that she does like to have a giggle and not be too serious, and sometimes these threads do get a teeny bit heavy for her.

I don't read that as saying that intellectuals have no sense of humour. Sometimes a serious discussion can go deeper when a little humour is leavening it and the participants can draw breath before continuing.

Do those who see attacks in the neutral posts of others have any sense of how they themselves are reacting with an pre-emptive attacking strike?

I agree with *nanachrissie] . They can! But I enjoy the contrast!

You said that intellectual threads got a teeny(!) bit heavy. But on the whole you liked them.

Charlotta I suggest you re read my post.
I didn't say intellectuals had no sense of humour, and when the posts get too heavy for my liking, then I do look elsewhere!

Why are you often so prickly?

It was a perfectly pleasant post as far as I'm concerned.

It is very lovely at the moment, Charlotta, as the wild flowers are just starting to appear in the meadows, it is warm enough to walk without a jacket, but yesterday I was watching the last of the skiers up at the ski station near me.

You'd have to be living where you are to hear the William Tell Overture.

An intellectual is somebody who can listen to The William Tell Overture without thinking of The Lone Ranger.
I love serious discussions and I also love light-hearted banter and I can claim to have posted the most jokes!

Why do you think intellectuals have no sense of humour? They are just like anybody else in fact they are very often funnier in an ironic, sardonic manner than those who don't consider themselves to be intellectuals.

If we are discussing death, dementia or dying with dignity -to name but a few threads, then if you want a giggle you don't go onto it. There are so many humorous threads on GN- I say let the serious people be serious without them getting hang ups about being too heavy. Let them be heavy if thats how they feel comfortable.
If you like a mix where intellectual posters make jokes and puns and can discuss serious themes and make people laugh at the same time then go ahead and do it!

What is an intellectual anyway?

Bring on the intellectuals I say!
I'm not one of them, but I do like to read all the differing outlooks and opinions on here.
I regard it as continuing my education!
However, I do like to have a giggle and not be too serious, and sometimes these threads do get a teeny bit heavy for me.

Love all you ladies

I read your comment as "Oh dear is that someone (unnamed, not Expatmaggie) PC-ing us out of doing something else" , Greatnan , not as anything snide on EPM

Intellectual is good, though maybe on New Year's Eve someone did not welcome it.

I do realise that few people would enjoy my lifestyle - isn't it good that we are all different?
I'm still not sure why expatmaggie took exception to my flippant comment, but I certainly did not mean to disparage her in any way.
I certainly do spend a lot of time posting on gransnet -I do it with my laptop on my knee whilst I am 'watching' TV or listening to Radio 4 - I like multi-tasking as feel I am getting every second's worth of life! I also get engaged in interesting discussions on various expat forums but I think the replies here are by far the most intelligent and informed. Of course, being retired and having such an easy flat to keep clean, I have more free time than most people.

As for being integrated, which expatmaggie obviously is, I think the German mindset is nearer to that of the English and easier to understand. The French are a law unto themselves which makes living here even more interesting.

I think the queen is lurker on this site. Why wouldn't she be? It is her natural e-home isn't it? Maybe you could dip your toe into the waters and comment on the 'posh' thread yr Maj.

I can't bear the integration debates on ex-pat forums either, but I do choose to spend quite a lot of my time with French friends and people in the village. I am an elected member of the local council and I like that too, my chance to do my bit. I admire your self-sufficiency Greatnan, but I go stir crazy if I don't see other people and talk to them. I am hopeless at my own company and just couldn't live like that. Each to his own, I guess. I also spend a bit of time with English people I know, but only about once or twice a month.

The mistake greatnan made about my being "told off" was that I delighted in it. I wasn't at all upset as we had been discussing Europe. Indeed I thanked the poster and took it as a compliment that she thought I was too intellectual and intelligent for our GN discussion. It was New Year's Eve

I like all others appreciate greatnan's input to GN because I would not have the time to post so much and GN would soon fall to pieces if it depended on me.
As to being integrated then you have to be married to someone of your second nationality, to get really inside the family. German husband for 40 years, German children and German grandchildren. Of course I am fully integrated but it doesn't stop you being what you were born. For many years I always maintained I would like to be buried in England!
Somehow without my noticing it I no longer feel that way.

Back to the orignal subject of loneliness in old age. I think it is quite a natural state of being, for an older person. The last stage of coming to terms with what life throws at you. When you are the only person left who is 90+ you must feel bereft on bad days. The queen is an example of how we should all be treated. As if what we say is important. Asked to do things, praised, surrounded by family who all have to live near her. Yet who would really want her life?
P.S. If she reading this, she can comment.

Thank goodness Jeni

Thanks for the support - I don't do 'snide' - if I want to challenge something with which I don't agree I do it in a very forthright way, I hope. I think that my occasional attempts at flippancy might be misundestood - I will have to get into the habit of using more smiley emoticons.

Expat, lived in Germany for 3 years (1987-1990) and loved it. Met some super people, including an 80 year old lady who enjoyed our small conversation group ( I was the only 'Brit' to turn up following an advert). She used to send me hand-made cards with little homilies when I returned to Blighty.
I particularly liked the seasonality of so many things, the 'birthdays' (even a water tower near where I lived had a celebration when it was re-roofed in gleaming copper.)
The coffee and cakes.... sorry I could go on and on!

Yes I think she was just a bit surprised at your comment expat
I see her as a leader of thoughtful debate around here.

I think Greatnan was actually sympathising with the fact that you had been "told off", expatmaggie, not being "snide". Perhaps you are a little over-sensitive?

I don't why the Brits like France so much. I'm so glad that they don't like Germany. I would hate to have whole villages taken over by Brits and like you say it doesn't sound cosy on the French expat forums.

I like Uk TV but think that we have more choice in Germany because each Land( county) has its own TV and some of these programs are very good,I also watch ARTE the French/German TV. I have no use for the other 200? channels.
Best of the BBC is Radio4 which I listen to everyday and wouldn't change that for anybodys TV.
greatnan I didn't like that snide remark 'Oh dear are we not allowed to be intellectuals: that reaction is exactly what I meant!

oops, computer jumped the gun - we need an 'edit' function.
Some spend a lot of time running down Britain and all things British - they would never eat any British food, etc.
I didn't integrate in England and there is nobody around me now with whom I could integrate. I speak enough French, have UK television, I still love the English sense of irony and the beautiful countryside of Britain, if I do happen to come across any English-speaking people (I haven't so far in 18 months here) I will gladly chat but I don't look for them.
I very much doubt if anyone emigrating to France after spending most of their life in the UK will ever fully understand the French psyche or culture.