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(106 Posts)
whitewave Fri 11-May-12 16:27:00

I have been approached by an unnamed financial backer to ask GN's whether they would be willing to take part in an updated film version of Cleopatra. This would of course mean numerous roles to be filled including Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton as well as the ass for milk, pyramid for background etc. The role of the asp and camel has already been filled by that well known star of stage and screen who is currently staring in Born Free, you will of course remember him as Toto and Lassie. I shall not tell you his name as you will undoubtedly forget it.
Auditions will take place soon - those who are interested please advise asap.

jeni Fri 11-May-12 16:31:18

I fancy being a pyramid! I like symmetry, I am worried about Donald playing an asp, I thought he already had asrse-p problems?

whenim64 Fri 11-May-12 16:31:21

Me please whitewave. I don't know what I'm cut out for (I have been Mrs Overall in an Acorn Antiques type presentation) so I will await a decision as long as they don't put me in charge of a dog grin

whitewave Fri 11-May-12 16:33:18

We also need someone to come as a fridge only when the film was last produced the milk kept turning to cheese in the heat and ET was sort of slopping around on the top

glassortwo Fri 11-May-12 16:35:13

Count me in can I be one of the dancers as in RL I am more like a pet elephant wink

Mamie Fri 11-May-12 16:38:11

I am sure I could do the choreography for a sand dance. Must be easier than getting Gransnetters in shape for the can-can.

whitewave Fri 11-May-12 16:43:50

don't forget the staring roles of RB and ET The RB role will of course along with a low Welsh voice need to be able to show an ability to quaf large quantities of (wine)
The role of ET must have the stamina to satisfy various husbands - however the reward will of course be numerous diamonds

whenim64 Fri 11-May-12 16:48:55

I don't think I will make a suitable fridge as a client once told me (as he was arrested) that I have a face that would curdle milk!! grin

jeni Fri 11-May-12 16:52:38


Oxon70 Fri 11-May-12 17:13:01

Woukd the luggage double as a fridge?

jeni Fri 11-May-12 17:16:50

Wot meshock

glassortwo Fri 11-May-12 17:17:16

when grin

Oxon70 Fri 11-May-12 17:21:38

I wanna be the second Roman spearcarrier on the left. I've been this before in Julius Caesar at school and it was a complete disaster, we never got our cue for the army (all three of us) to enter.....but I liked the costume!

- I can then make comments behimd my hand.

jeni Fri 11-May-12 17:22:40

I played Macbeth! I look very cute in a beard!

whitewave Fri 11-May-12 17:29:21

Could you not be RB thenjeni as you are also quite good at quaffing

Oxon70 Fri 11-May-12 17:31:58


jeni Fri 11-May-12 17:35:31

That's true, I do have welsh blood. My mother was a Lloyd! Is that near enough? But who would be my cleo? I'd have to know that first. I don't want to make love to a dog burner!

Butternut Fri 11-May-12 17:35:35

Can I be a female Indiana Jones? - being an ex-therapist I enjoy digging around.grin I will of course have magically travelled back in time. Let me know white

whitewave Fri 11-May-12 17:43:20

jeni is there anyone you fancy only clearly there has to be a spark between you

butter you've got the wrong film

oxon70 if your spearcarrier was a disaster what make you think it will be any better this time around? Fancy cleo if anthony fancies you? Satisfaction guaranteed!

when I think you need to pay a visit to the casting couch and see what you come up with

glass an elephant it is then

mamie could you double up as the chorus as well as the choreographer

This is really getting together now!

jeni Fri 11-May-12 17:44:40


Anne58 Fri 11-May-12 17:46:03

I could be an understudy RB, I can do the accent, my grandmother was welsh and I have got blue eyes. I am also very experienced in quaffing.

Butternut Fri 11-May-12 17:47:30

white Indiana Jones can go anywhere! Like it or not - I'll be there. I wasn't going to bring the whip, but might now! grin

Mamie Fri 11-May-12 17:47:50

Oh yes, I can sing and dance. Was wondering if the Sand Dance is a bit - well - Wilson, Keppel and Betty? Would you prefer a belly dance? Jewels in the navel etc? I have been doing a lot of Hula Hoop on the Wii, so I am in quite good shape....

Oxon70 Fri 11-May-12 17:48:01

THAT wasn't my fault! I want to do better this time - and not get rolled up in a carpet! Sorry jeni

Oxon70 Fri 11-May-12 17:50:32

Why do we need a fridge? I've milked a goat, can I milk the ass? (As the Roman soldier of course, and I get to see her in the bath as I carry the milk in....)