Christmas presents..

Not sure why but lots of people I know including family members give several (lovely) presents per person each Christmas whilst it takes me all my time and ingenuity to find (and afford!) one present for each person - even when I had a full time income. This seems to have become a 'thing' in the past 2 or 3 decades. I'm hoping to make stuff this year..... Hah!

I was thinking of the affordability issue when I started the thread - particularly when there's a disparity among the family. Obviously this still applies to single gifts, but I do think it's more appraent when people give several gifts to the same person.

I love Christmas, and do like to give out pressie to family. It's only once a year and provided it's what you can afford do it. We don't do so much on birthdays just card and gift.

I love that Phoenix, thankyou very much!

I told my children not to over spoil the children at Christmas/birthdays as one day in the future they might not be able to keep it up. We didn't overspend on them but they never went without. I have a set amount I spend on my grandchildren at Christmas....30 pound each and birthdays it is 20 pound.

In my family we have always given one present per person to those who we would be with at Christmas - no sending of presents to others. My Dh was brought up with the rule that all children were given presents, but this stopped when they were 18 and grown up.

I don't like that rule much, as it is difficult to teach children to give presents if they are not expected to give the grown ups something, however small.

We have always tried to find something the recipient really wanted, but have tried to limit expenditure. Between adults we agree on an amount of money that is not to be exceeded for presents, but obviously, you can choose to give something cheaper if you want.

I think it is very important not to give children too much at any time. If the child is the only grandchild/ niece / nephew with lots of adults wanting to give, we tried to get them to give one big present from them all, rather than lots of things.

How about building memories instead of presents. We take our grandchildren and their parents to the pantomime having first met up for brunch. This is the choice of all the daughters and sons in law!

My son and daughter-in-law buy their children whatever they like, that's up to them. They usually ask me to buy them one present that they know they want. I usually buy them something that will stay at our house after Christmas as well so the parents don't have to store it. Also it means the toys/books are more likely to get used here as there are less things to play with than at home. I get them a little present to open at the dinner table as well, along with a poem for them to put in their "memory drawer'.

Good idea Gaga1950

So what happens if the one gift that is received is awful/wrong size/wrong colour? Then nothing more to look forward to.

When it gets nearer to Christmas, and I ask for ideas for presents for the grandchildren, they usually admit that they have bought far too much, and are happy to 'sell' me something, which they know the children want. It seems to work well.

Most definitely,

It depends on various things really, what do the children's parents think about it, are there many people in the family to buy gifts for the children etc.
We try to buy clothes and books and one toy type present for the DGC.Soon,as they get older, I think a bit of hard cash would be appreciated.?

I love Christmas, and choosing and wrapping presents. But the grown-ups in our family opted a couple of years back to go for a Secret Santa system, and I must admit it's made life easier. So just one present each. The DGC get loads of stuff, and I think everyone would agree on cutting the amount down. DH and I have set a cash amount for each of the boys for Christmas and birthdays. We ask the DC what we should buy and sometimes it's a big present, sometimes a smaller one plus the cash to top it up, sometimes just cash for their savings. It works really well. They're all getting Magformers this year - our suggestion, and DC approve.

I do always fill a traditional stocking though for any adults who are here on Christmas Day. The obligatory apple, orange, nuts, chocolate coins, sugar mouse, shiny pound coin, plus a couple of treats each. Those nuts have been doing the rounds for about ten years - they are warned not to try eating them!

My granddaughter's bedroom is cluttered with toys and somehow her new baby brother has to share the space. I feel that homes are sinking under toys, so I will ask first what they want me to buy.

My husb and I implemented a "No gift" policy to each other years ago, as it is christmas every day...i.e. you buy what you like when you like these days. After years of insisting on a "One Gift" policy from my son and his partner, they have finally got the message and give us each one gift, hoorah!! We send money to the mothers of gtandchildren so that they can buy what they need or put it in savings. So no pressure at Christmas for us, at all. Its no longer a nice time of year for most. The religious aspect is fast fading which is a great shame.

Something that is really, really wanted, a stocking filled with a tangerine, small silly cheap items ( crayons, a little toy or two )and a cracker. Then a couple of bits under the tree for after Christmas dinner).

No - we each have a "gift list" and we each choose what we can afford - there are only me, DH, DS and MIL as my DDs and GS ( I think I've only one) are estranged. So we tend to buy books, games, music and maybe one slightly bigger joint gift per person from the others. Works a treat, as we all get what we really want/need and no-one pays more than we can afford.

Maybe not a no gift rule but perhaps a price rule or secret Santa option would be an alternative way of cutting down on giving an excessive amount of pressies

we were poor for a long time/as things got better>under age 9 was a free for all.older we recieved one big present(own little tv,sewingmachine,tobogan) then clothes and something silly.divorced parents>dad would take me to book barns(used book stores) and let me fill the car to bursting.heaven for me.
should say tho kid brother and sister were step dads first and he went crazy,spoiling them right up to the day he died.

What Phoenix said sprinkled with Bridgeit's wisdom.

And don't get me started with that blooming 'Elf on the Shelf' nonsense!

Secret Santa for the grown ups. I'm afraid the little ones get a bit more.

I love the Elf on the Shelf! DGS1 was chortling earlier this week at the memory of some of his shenanigans - swinging from the tree lights, making snow angels in flour - and wondering who was going to be naughtier this year, his elf or his new kitten.

What have you got against him, Imperfect?

Something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read sums it up perfectly for me!

I can't agree with Craftycat about D.I.Ls, although I get on with mine on a level I find she can be very unfeeling, my dear GD is 12 now and I have never had a BD card with Grandma on it , just a generic card from all three of them, DIL expects my son to buy presents for me and lovely as he is he has no imagination beyond a bottle of wine. We have looked after our GD since she was 6 months old , even when my husband and I both worked ful time we looked after her two days a week, we love her dearly but I would love a card to 'best grandma' at Christmas or birthday. I have mentioned it to my son but he just says that DIL buys cards. I wonder if it is because her own mother passed away when DIL was about 18 so she doesn't want me to have what her mother can't have. It doesn't consume me but does make me sad when I see what my friends get. We never get invited for tea or christmas or anything. I have three sons but my eldest lives 150 miles away and does not have a family. My youngest lives in Canada with his family so I have a lot invested in GD here, I am not an interfering MIL and don't expect regular visits as I know they have there own lives so we often don't see them for weeks, but we know where our son is if we need him ans similarly. I just feel upset about the lack of a card. Am I wrong