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Argy Bargy madness, come right in! 😜🍸

(902 Posts)
lemongrove Thu 13-Dec-18 21:29:37

Ah, another year’s lease, wonderful!
Leave your worries at the door and put your feet up.

boheminan Thu 13-Dec-18 21:49:57

Geeeee - is this place fer real?

Doodle Thu 13-Dec-18 21:54:38

Mines a double please lemon as you're in the chair. I'll have one of your doorstops delicious mince pies too and a sit on one of those comfy old saggy chairs by the fire. Oops. Sorry Admiral I didn't realise it was you blush

Doodle Thu 13-Dec-18 21:56:42

Ferral. Certainly not bohemian. I'll have you know we are a high class joint (well apart from the ferrets) (and marydoll) tchgrin

lemongrove Thu 13-Dec-18 22:00:33

Hi there Bo we have recreated Pete’s Place atmosphere, very classy, help yourslef to pork scratchings and use the spittoons rather than the floor please!

Marydoll Thu 13-Dec-18 22:54:06

Sooooooo, this is where you are all hiding..
I went to the Edinburgh meet up yesterday, hoping to catch up with Santa. He has scarpered.☹️
I think the word octuplets scared him off! Oh didnt I tell you, I had a scan today. We will need even more babysitters.
Should we start thinking of names?

Eglantine21 Thu 13-Dec-18 22:59:09

Is there a little corner for the homeless? I’m not sure how much longer my relatives are going to let me sleep on the sofa.

They keep saying they want to sit down..........

Chewbacca Thu 13-Dec-18 23:01:04

Was the license revoked on the old place lemon? Oh and I need my ferrits back too. I need 'em for a nativity play that the grandkids are in. They couldn't get a donkey so we're putting long ears on Frederico and he'll make a passable ass, at a distance. Box 'em up lemon please!

Marydoll Thu 13-Dec-18 23:04:29

Oh all are welcome, it's an open door policy for all waifs and strays.😁
After all if I'm allowed in, they will let anyone in.
Pull up a pew and grab a glass of poteen and some ferret pork scratchings.
The only problem is that it may be quite crowded once the octuplets arrive.😁

Chewbacca Thu 13-Dec-18 23:10:23

Octopus? Hell's Bells Marydoll, you can't keep an octopus in a bar! Ferrits are bad enough but octopus? Mental idea!

Marydoll Thu 13-Dec-18 23:15:14

You know me so well😁🤭

Day6 Fri 14-Dec-18 00:54:36

I have entered with my clipboard lemon. I want to check out the bar staff and the menu before I commit too donning my finery and propping up the bar.

Oiled shirtless barman? FRESH food? Good company? No undesirables loitering outside. or collapsed on the floor? State of the patrons? Entertainment? Fresh straw put down for the ferrets and the incontinent? Men in uniform? Decent beverages, not watered down?

Yep. All the boxes ticked, so in my finest red leather hot-pants, fishnets, thigh high white plastic boots, fake fur bolero, chestnut wig, false eyelashes and tiara I shall grab that saggy old chair in the corner and give this place a bit of class.

Are we all on baby-sitting duty when the octuplets arrive???? If we keep it in-house, can we have a bevvy or two whilst child-minding, and do health visitors now approve of a drop of brandy in baby's bottles of milk?

Buffybee Fri 14-Dec-18 01:12:37

I'm a bit late but I've been sorting a problem out down at the Sewage Works!
Some poor beggar fell in! 😱
We hooked him out and sent him down here to recover.
Anyone seen him?
We've got plenty in tonight!
Pint of Poteen and a bag of scratching Trev.

Charleygirl5 Fri 14-Dec-18 09:07:15

Day6 how many times have I to repeat myself- each babysitter must be sober and I will have the polis at the door breath testing. A lot depends on how the babies behave whether I agree they have a slug of whisky added to their bottle.

To date, I am the only person sober enough to babysit and I am not doing it full time. Marydoll do not forget you have responsibilities, you do not get off Scot free. Santa had better find another job because children are not cheap.

Buffybee Fri 14-Dec-18 12:24:12

You won't be able to find a sober patron of the Argy Charley.
We're all pretty much steeped in Poteen.
Can you enrol Santa's Little Helpers instead.
Early finish today, so I'll have a nice pint of Black Tar Bitter and a mincepie please Trev!

lemongrove Fri 14-Dec-18 16:33:24

Scot free Charley ( of Marydoll) very apt! tchgrin
Sorry Buffy all the mince pies have gone (Day6 is to blame) she popped in for elevenses (11 mince pies.)
Never mind, I shall be baking some more later, meantime help yourself to the peanuts on the bar ( if you like living dangerously.)
Hey Thor! A half of Jack Daniels please with a marachino cherry thrown in.🥃

boheminan Fri 14-Dec-18 16:50:27

Yep, I used to fre-quent Pete's old shack Back in The Day. A palace it was, fit for a few queens.
Well, I see standards have been lowered, but what d'ya expect from this crowd.

Where's me pork scratchings? I only eat vegan ones now I've gorn up in the world

Doodle Fri 14-Dec-18 19:25:21

Right, own up which one of you was it? In the newspaper today they printed the story of someone who had been banned from his local pub for taking his ferrets in with him. Who has been letting out ferrets go off with strange men? 😧
Eight marydoll, eight! I knew you were fat putting on weight but eight 😱. Where will we put them? What will we call them? And which one of them is bringing an octopus 🐙? 😮

Marydoll Fri 14-Dec-18 19:32:47

I blame my hormones! grin

Well that's what they said on another thread, it's always the hormones to blame!

Buffybee Fri 14-Dec-18 19:58:58

It wasn't a strange man Doodle.
Maureeese/Maureeen was trying to flog our Ferrets, as Christmas Fairys down his local pub, apparently they got chucked out for smelling bad. 🤔
Some folks are just too fussy, what do they want? They sing, they dance, make a fashionable Winter hat and give a lovely back scratch!
Are the next batch of mince pies ready yet Lemon?

Day6 Sat 15-Dec-18 01:42:52

The ferrets were being kitted out in little knitted garments and then flogged to people who thought they were buying a 'handbag dog' trendy pet. Apparently most of them bit their new owners and made their way back to the Argy. Dammit. Another money making scheme gone wrong.

Trev says *Marydoll"was in earlier and she looked fit to burst. He intimated that a DNA test would prove who'd fathered her octuplets and apparently with that all the blokes in the bar knocked back their drinks and ran out. That's not very good for business. Trev said he spent this evening with an octopus. As you do.

He's taught it a party trick. It uses it's tentacles to pinch 8 bums at once. That should be a crowd pleaser. Most of the old slappers ladies in the Argy are desperate for ANY attention.

I'll just finish my milk stout with port and lemon chaser, feed the ferrets and sweep the floor before I go home. The octopus has just woken up and it has it's beady eyes on me so I'd better be quick.

Marydoll Sat 15-Dec-18 07:34:23

I have had a brainwave! Octuplets expected and an octopus on the premises. One tentacle per baby, problem solved! grin
No need for DNA testing. The lovely Soop, knows who the father is. wink

Day6 Sat 15-Dec-18 07:50:05

What a good idea Marydoll. So the patrons can carry on knocking them back whilst the octopus sees to the sprogs. I like it. Can the octuplets live in the cellar? Bawling babies in the bar might put off the regulars.

Does the octopus have a name? Has it had any experience of childcare? Can Trev train it to hold bottles and not pinch bottoms?

I believe it lives in a beer barrel full of water down in the cellar. Trev puts on his mermaid costume and blonde wig to keep it company. Well that's what he says he's doing. Maureeese/Maureen is fuming. He's told Trev he can only be the mermaid on a Sunday, Tuesday and Saturday, and the rest of the time Maureeese will be Aqua Marina.

Doodle Sat 15-Dec-18 21:54:55

Who care what the octopus is called. What are we going to call 8 babies and how will we remember which is which? 😱
There's no point in planning to keep them in the cellar because when Daddy Santa comes to visit he'll need somewhere for his sleigh and reindeer. Can't Trev and Maureese knock up an extension between them. There's just enough room if we knock through the back wall? We could have a lovely nursery behind the bar and if we train him/her properly, octopussy 🐙 could pull pints and rock the babies at the same time. (How do you tell what sex an octopus is? 🤔)

lemongrove Sat 15-Dec-18 22:09:10

The mince pies are hot and fresh from the oven Buffy and I put a little extra ingredient in to, how shall I say, get us all going ( not to the loo btw although that could happen too!)
Stick to one each, just to be on the safe side.wink

Buffybee Sun 16-Dec-18 01:28:41

Put another couple of Lemon's mince pies to one side for me, please Trev and a pint of Drambuie with one ice cube and a slice of lemon. 🍺
Cant understand it but I'm feeling very lively and "full of beans" so I'll fetch a couple of crates up from the cellar and tap a few barrels.
Big Jims nowhere to be seen, he's a bit miffed at Marydoll and her Santa liaison.
He thought he was
"the one"!!! 🙄

lemongrove Wed 19-Dec-18 21:15:13

Sorry I didn’t drop by to take my turn for kitchen duties, am full of cold and coughing fit to bust!
Any ferret soup left?

lemongrove Wed 19-Dec-18 21:19:15

Our Christmas lights look wonderful, but I do worry about elf and safety, as Doodle has been putting these same lights up since 1959.
Thor looks very fetching tonight in his Santa outfit, not that there’s much of it! Just a hat and a beard worn in a strategic position to cover his modesty.😊

Chewbacca Wed 19-Dec-18 21:29:06

I've had a look lemon, it really is very modest; nothing to get worked up about there.
If you're worried about the lights, perhaps I could help you out? I've got a carton of 100 fags that my neighbour brought back, duty free. I could light them all at once and run about with them? Would that work?

lemongrove Wed 19-Dec-18 21:33:39

Brilliant! But stay away from Thors beard.😱

Marydoll Wed 19-Dec-18 22:02:24

Has any one seen Santa?. He has done a runner. I think it might be the fact that I mentioned the NONUPLETS.

Chewey, would you be able to help out with the babysitting, but no smoking around the mini Santa's.☹️

Would Thor make a good father figure? We could pretend he is Santa.🤭

Chewbacca Wed 19-Dec-18 22:15:25

Babysitting Marydoll? Babysitting? I spend most of my week babysitting! I come in the Bargy to get hammered on poteen, not babysit. And no way on this earth will I baby sit 9 of 'em! Nope! And how did they grow from 8 of 'em to 9? Have you been up to anything recently again? hmm

Chewbacca Wed 19-Dec-18 22:17:18

Thor doesnt seem to have "the equipment" to be a father Marydoll. I had a sneak preview earlier and it's all smoke and mirrors from the look of it. Best look elsewhere. How about the Admiral?

Marydoll Wed 19-Dec-18 22:23:14

How very dare you cast aspertions on my whiter than white morals.

Let she who is without sin cast the first stone! I'm only saying, if you know what I mean. 😉

Anyway are you up for some babysitting?

You could read one of those books from your stash.🤭
I hear you have plenty to choose from.🤣

Doodle Wed 19-Dec-18 22:25:44

Are you sure that's santas beard Thor is wearing down there lemon? It's more browny grey than white and I'm sure I saw it move a minute ago tchhmm. It's not a ferret it it tchshock
Fear not marydoll I've just seen Santa and he's in the shed trying to convert his sleigh into a multiple baby buggy. He's trying to make it big enough for dozyuplets as he says the rate your going it will be 12 by Christmas tchgrin

Chewbacca Wed 19-Dec-18 22:36:27

grin Well... I suppose I could help out. A bit. But only 4 at a time. Can't cope with more. I'll have Everard, Evangeline, Eustace and Dympna. They're the easiest ones. Pass 'em over 'ere then. <Sigh>

Marydoll Wed 19-Dec-18 22:47:11

That would be difficult, they are not born yet! 😁

Doodle Thu 20-Dec-18 13:34:23

Well I have arthritis in my wrists so I'm really only safe with one (no flies on me tchgrin. I will have the one that sleeps most and poos least please. That leaves 4 (at the current count) needing babycare. lemon come on you can manage one at least. buffy how many can we put you down for? tchhmm

lemongrove Thu 20-Dec-18 13:41:54

Chewy is already hammered on poteen, as those are our ferrets, not babies!!
Give Marydoll a chance, she hasn’t had her litter yet.
Doodle you are quite right, my eyesight isn’t what it used to be, it’s a ferret clinging to Thor’s unmentionables.I think it’s Bertie, he does like warm places.

Charleygirl5 Thu 20-Dec-18 13:45:27

If soop is now up the duff I will be arranging classes about the birds and the bees and the classes will be compulsory. End of.

I could babysit one and that baby will also have to be a good sleeper- none of this 2 am feed lark- I need my sleep. I slept for 9 hours last night so there is a possibility I may not hear the baby as my ears are more attuned to cat cries.

Buffybee Thu 20-Dec-18 15:15:56

Poor Thor! He's never been the same since Doodle snapped "it" off and we had him repaired on the Insurance.
Pint of Mulled 🎄Wine please Trev, looking dapper in his tartan thong.
I can probably manage two babies Doodle, they can sleep with the dog in her bed, she's very maternal. 😱

Doodle Thu 20-Dec-18 20:21:24

Perhaps a better idea would be that we take shifts two of us could look after them all for an hour or so while the rest get plastered have a break and then the next pairing take over for the next shift. If we keep them all in the Argy will can always involve the regulars in a bit of childcare (only if they're not on the poteen of course)
Anyway that's in the future (any idea when the litter babies will be born marydoll). Right now we need to get to some serious drinking planning for the Argy Christmas party. I've stuffed the turkey .... at least I think it was the turkey - although Thor is walking a bit funny at the moment tchhmm

lemongrove Thu 20-Dec-18 20:25:42

Charlie haha, it’s not Soop who is up the duff ( although she makes a good plum duff) it’s our Gaelic Glamour Girl Marydoll ( think tartan mini skirt and long flowing auburn wig.)

Marydoll Thu 20-Dec-18 20:44:15

....AND VERRRRRRY PREGNANT!!! grin.

Soop however, was present at the "incident" in Edinburgh, that's how she knows everything! wink

lemongrove Thu 20-Dec-18 20:47:21

Did you sit on Santa’s knee for a little too long Marydoll?
Have heard that this sort of thing can happen in grottoes!

Marydoll Thu 20-Dec-18 20:52:17

How did you know!

He was actually visiting the RBS pensioners' Christmas lunch in Edinburgh and came into visit us in the next room as we were making too much noise having such fun and we were definitely more interesting than a load of retired bankers! grin

lemongrove Thu 20-Dec-18 20:56:03

Ah, weel, see wha’ comes fra too many drams!

Doodle Fri 21-Dec-18 15:08:19

Ah lemon, charleygirl knows marydoll is with child(ren) by Santa. What you don't know is that soop had expressed an sudden urge to clean and tidy everything and charley and I were just commenting on the fact that she too could be "nest building" as she had been in close proximity to Santa too. (soop hasn't actually denied it tchhmm). Hope Santa hasn't been visiting anyone else tchshock

Marydoll Fri 21-Dec-18 15:20:57

Ooooohhhh, if any more people have had a "visitation", we could have a whole new site, dedicated to Gransnetters with child!
GNHQ, will be rubbing their hands with glee.
Think of all that advertising revenue. grin

We will also need a creche in the Argy!
Lots of retired teachers on GN, they could volunteer their services for free.

This is so exciting!!!

Chewbacca Fri 21-Dec-18 15:38:23

Was it an immaculate conception Marydoll?
Wouldn't it be amazing if you had all 8, 9 or whatever the number was at the last count on Christmas Eve? We could have some wise men bringing you gifts. In the absence of finding one of those; we could bring something perhaps?

Buffybee Fri 21-Dec-18 18:46:50

Can we have a Christmas Pantomime?
If we had Cinderella, we'd perhaps struggle to find someone to play "her" but we'd be ok for Widow Twanky's and loads of choice for the Ugly Sisters.
Thor would look pretty in a pink sparkly dress and he has the long blonde locks.
Pint of Poteen please Trev!
Oh yes! Trev could be Prince Charming! sigh he's so handsome.

Doodle Fri 21-Dec-18 22:01:24

Oy! Who are you calling ugly 😡 I'll have you know when I have my head in a paper bag I am quite acceptable.

I agree a panto would be fun...oh no it wouldn't....oh yes it would tchgrin

Buffybee Sat 22-Dec-18 09:22:30

Ha! Doodle
He's behind you!!!!!!

Doodle Sat 22-Dec-18 21:26:58

tchshock not Santa!!!

Marydoll Sat 22-Dec-18 21:48:25

I could play the Christmas pudding. I'm big enough.
👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶

Doodle Sat 22-Dec-18 23:17:22

12 marydoll, 12!! tchshock what's the betting we'll be up at a bakers dozen soon.

Marydoll Sat 22-Dec-18 23:41:13

I'm aiming for the Guiness book of records! 😁
Doodle, I knew you wouldn't resist counting!!!!!

Doodle Sun 23-Dec-18 10:37:43

tchgrin

lemongrove Thu 27-Dec-18 21:08:43

On the first day of Christmas, Big Jim gave to me,
A ferret in a fir tree, 🌲

lemongrove Thu 27-Dec-18 21:09:57

Next person into the bar do the next line in the song please,

lemongrove Thu 27-Dec-18 21:10:46

I’ll have a pint of Jack Daniels while I wait.

Marydoll Thu 27-Dec-18 22:05:03

On the second day of Christmas. Santa gave to me,
ten little babies and another three.

Chewbacca Thu 27-Dec-18 22:09:42

On the 3rd day of Christmas Santa gave to me 3 pairs of hotpants; 10 little babies and a ferret in a pear tree.

Doodle Thu 27-Dec-18 23:03:16

Don’t care who got the fourth day but Santa gave me 5 gold rings so there tchgrin
marydoll when are the little sproglets due? We really ought to be making some preparations.

Doodle Thu 27-Dec-18 23:05:31

Oh I missed it. I’ve just popped back in to check.....another three.....marydoll that means we’re up to thirteen now 😱.

lemongrove Fri 28-Dec-18 15:25:36

Five gold rings! Doodle you festive fibber you.😱
You missed out the fourth day, so,
On the fourth day of Christmas , Thor gave to meeee,
Four pints of poteen,
Three pairs of hotpants,
Etc
And a ferret in a fir tree.

lemongrove Fri 28-Dec-18 15:27:54

On the sixth day of Christmas, the Captain gave to meee,
Six sailors singing,
Five gold rings!
Four pints of poteen etc
And a ferret in a fir tree.

Buffybee Fri 28-Dec-18 18:47:42

On the seventh day of Christmas Trevor gave to me, seven shots of whisky.
6 sailors singing
Five gold rings
Four pints of Poteen
Three pairs of hot pants
Ten little babies
And a ferret in a Fir tree!

Chewbacca Fri 28-Dec-18 19:13:41

On the 8th day of Christmas the bailiff gave to me 8 white mankinis
7 shots of whisky
6 sailors singing
5 gold rings
4 pints of poteen
3 pairs of hot pants
10 little babies
And a ferret in a pair tree

Doodle Fri 28-Dec-18 20:49:58

On the ninth day of Christmas the Admiral gave to me ........................ I’ll let you know when I get back from having my shots at the clinic blush

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 20:14:43

tchgrin 😱😁
Oh dear, Doodle

On the tenth day of Christmas, Maureese gave to me,
Ten selfies pouting,
Nine -!#-/
Eight white mankinis,
Seven shots of whisky
Six sailors singing
Five goooold rings!
Four pints of poteen
Three pairs of hotpants etc etc.

Chewbacca Sun 30-Dec-18 20:34:31

On the 11th day of Christmas, Big Jim gave to me

11 permanent tattoos
10 selfies pouting
9 heaven knows, but a dose of penicillin should help
8 white mankinis
7 shots of whisky
6 singing sailors
5 gold rings
Etc.....

Buffybee Sun 30-Dec-18 20:40:29

Ah! Here you all are!!
Flipping heck!!!! What's it been like out there today?
I need a large one!
Calm down Admiral....
A very large Dubonnet and Lemon please Trev 🍷🍺🍹🍸
Don't mind me, I'll just slump here in the comfy chair.

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 20:51:49

I know!!
The Argy is a safe space, where we can all believe what anyone says, phew! Thank heavens fot that eh? tchgrin
Buffy you do realise that you are slumping on the Captain who was asleep in the comfy chair.
I have put a tray of fresh ( almost) pies on the bar counter and the drinks are on the house tonight....cheers! wine

Chewbacca Sun 30-Dec-18 20:52:11

That's not a comfy chair Buffy; that's Marydoll's "lying in chair". She's been making a nest there for when she has her 13 possibly more now sproglets. What about the hammock slung between the door jambs? Could you manage to get up there? It's nice and peaceful up there. until someone opens the door

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 20:53:18

Am wearing my new Christmas outfit....twirl!
Whaddya think girls?

MawBroon Sun 30-Dec-18 20:54:43

It can’t be any more bonkers than outside! tchgrin

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 20:56:27

Can’t have any ‘lying in’going on in the bar, I have cobbled together two large cardboard boxes for that purpose ( in the cellar) and put an old cardi in it for comfort....*marydoll*’s a hardy sort.

Chewbacca Sun 30-Dec-18 20:56:54

Hmmmm! When did you buy it lemon? I'm guessing before you ate your Christmas dinner, pudding, mince pies, chocolates, nuts, crackers, special cheeses, more chocolate and the pies off soop? It might need letting out a teensy teensy bit 2 foot.

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 20:58:33

Welcome MawBroon ye’ll do for us, rough as ye are!
A pint of old black goblin for you with a poteen chaser?

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 21:00:59

I know Chewy it is a bit tight, here and there ( especially there!) Still, emerald green silk hotpants and silver sequinned boob tube is a winning combo I think?

Buffybee Sun 30-Dec-18 21:02:43

Pull up a bar stool Maw.
Thor will take your order when I've finished oiling his chest.
I recommend a pint of Poteen for a start and one of Lemon's sausage rolls, only just out of date so just scrape off the mound and you'll be fine.

Chewbacca Sun 30-Dec-18 21:05:48

Is there anything non alcoholic on offer tonight? Don't fancy poteen--gut rot-- and I'm feeling delicate.

MawBroon Sun 30-Dec-18 21:07:56

Cheers!
I won’t say who or what I am drinking to, but god rot em might feature in my toast!

Buffybee Sun 30-Dec-18 21:08:29

NON-ALCOHOLIC!!!!!!
Chewy wash your mouth out with Creme de Menthe.
I've never heard such sacrilege in the Argy!
I'm shocked to the core! 😱

Buffybee Sun 30-Dec-18 21:11:36

Cheers! Maw
As my old Mother used to say. "Don't let the bar stewards get you down."
You'll soon be up to speed when you've had your third pint of Old Black Goblin.

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 21:11:39

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Trev gave to me
Twelve packs of peanuts
Eleven permanent tattoos
Ten selfies pouting
Nine Christmas doses 😱
Eight white mankinis
Seven shots of whisky
Six sailors singing
Five gooollld rings!
Four pints of poteen
Three pairs of hotpants
Two (dozen) babies
And a ferret in a fir treeeeeeeeee!

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 21:15:33

Wonder what the New Year will bring for us all at The Argy
( apart from the impending pack of babies) but may it be a good one for us all.
See you at the party here on NYE 🥂🍕🍕🍔🍰🍹🍷🥃🎉

Chewbacca Sun 30-Dec-18 21:15:37

Bleurgh! That Creme de Menthe is like toothpaste, urgh! How about a cup of tea? Is that available? A nice cup of tea and a slice of soop's Christmas cake! I've got a dental appointment booked for tomorrow anyway so it won't be a problem.

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 21:18:01

Tea? Have you gone stark raving mad?
This is an alchoholic zone only!

Buffybee Sun 30-Dec-18 21:18:14

You're looking very stunning tonight Lemon. I thought I'd make the effort myself.
I hope you don't mind, I've borrowed sqeeeezed myself into your backless red Lycra mini dress and dyed my hair pink and blue 😱 Whadda ya think!

Chewbacca Sun 30-Dec-18 21:20:03

I'M DELICATE Lemon! And I want tea! Or something that resembles it in this flea pit.

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 21:23:18

Well..... it’s different Buffy but didn’t you really mean to dye the hair on your head pink and blue?
We can see it because actually you didn’t manage to quite squeeze yourself into my dress, only half of you, and it’s now frontless as well as backless!

Chewbacca Sun 30-Dec-18 21:23:29

Budge up everybody, Marydoll has just announced that's she's expecting 14 now. You'd better get a bigger cardboard box and one of your jumpers ready in the cellar lemon. When she explodes, it won't be a pretty sight shock

lemongrove Sun 30-Dec-18 21:25:41

Ok Chewy we do have something that resembles it .....
Here, a steaming mug of ...something.Thor brought these titchy packs in, some sort of herbs perhaps?
Enjoy!

Buffybee Sun 30-Dec-18 21:27:37

The nearest thing to tea Chewy are the dried leaves that Maureeeeese had hidden in the cellar.
There you are! I've made you a big mug full. cafe

Marydoll Sun 30-Dec-18 21:28:29

You never could keep a secret, Chewy😁.
I was going to ask you to be godmother, ( to all of them), you could read one of your many books to them, when you babysit.
The Kitchener's have been so kind, offering to knit the required fifteen vests. 👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶

Buffybee Sun 30-Dec-18 21:28:34

Oooooo! Great minds Lemon!
Enjoy your delicious teas Chewy!!!

Doodle Sun 30-Dec-18 21:29:35

Oh for goodness sake buffy!!! First lemon and now you. How many times do I have to tell you, you’ve got it on back to front! Is it safe to dye your ahem ‘hair’ pink and blue buffy? I know maw said she put lights in her bush so I expect you thought you’d have to keep up somehow.

Doodle Sun 30-Dec-18 21:33:43

marydoll it’s only been five minutes since I left the kitchen and we were on 14 then. And now we’re up to 15 😱. Right I’m ordering protection gear and waterproofs for the rest of us because at this rate when your waters break we’ll all be washed away. 🌊