Gransnet forums


Argy Bargy madness, come right in! 😜🍸

(1001 Posts)
lemongrove Thu 13-Dec-18 21:29:37

Ah, another year’s lease, wonderful!
Leave your worries at the door and put your feet up.

lemongrove Mon 14-Oct-19 07:59:49

He hasn’t!
‘Elf n safety swapped it for a rubber one.😡
His other attributes are real though and very impressive.

Doodle Mon 14-Oct-19 19:31:53

lemon are you quite sure his other attributes aren’t rubber too............particularly the bendy one 😱

Carillion01 Sun 20-Oct-19 16:20:43

Ooooh! Lemon loved your arabesque last night on Strictly, you really suited the glittery tuorquaaaase ensemble with opaque leggings.

Going to C&A modes tomorrow for a similar. Can I have the Admiral for another weekend?

Thinking of a mermaid outfit, tell Doodle to keep her mits off the Admiral he'll be too busy painting the Argy whatever colour draws the punters esteemed clientele in.

Doodle Sun 20-Oct-19 21:49:27

Do you really think fluorescent lime green will daw them in carillion? Coz that’s the colour he’s using at the moment and stippling it with orange gloss (apparently the two cans fell off the back of a lorry 🚛) You can certainly keep him as long as you like. He’s covered in paint and looks like a lizard with a rash. In the meantime I have been helping myself to a large glass of this delicious stuff on the bar. Let me see what kind of cocktail it is’s called.....paint stripper....🤢

lemongrove Sun 20-Oct-19 21:55:07

Why thank you Carillion I did look rather good, even if I say it who shouldn’t.Spent all week practising putting those leggings on, I think the hard work paid off.
Yes Doodle I named that new cocktail myself ( it takes all the fur off your tongue doesn’t it?)🤪

lemongrove Wed 23-Oct-19 09:21:13

Have been thinking of doing the old place up, have left a Dulux colour chart on the bar, tick your choices please!
I rather like the purple haze, and the Admiral has ticked battleship grey.
A half of brandy please with an espresso chaser.😊

Doodle Wed 23-Oct-19 14:15:26

Fank u f th dink ledmon my tung ith fine fanks. 🤮😖😫😠😝😝

Carillion01 Thu 24-Oct-19 09:45:14

Have ticked ten boxes lemon, just to make sure we get the psychedelic ambience you like.

You sure about letting the Admiral pinch acquire the paint?? Saw him loitering near the bins of that orange coloured supermarket 😗😗😗 is he colour blind?!

Got my mermaid outfit ready to wear to watch you on Strictly this Saturday. Since someone said it's Halloween thought I'd go with the monster fish theme.

Finished duties clearing out the black pit store room at the back of the cellar this morning. Love the pic of you, Doodle, me and the Admiral for November's photie-shoot, he's looking very suave.

Swift half of that new cocktail please...the creamy, bluish one in the Domesto..bottle. Cute name. BTW, Doodle's still asleep on the camp bed chaise longue in the corner, shall I just leave her and lock up? 👻🐋🐚

Doodle Thu 24-Oct-19 20:25:48

carillion I’ve just woken up and found that lemon’s gone out onto another thread wearing her best Argy outfit 😱. If we don’t get her back soon the Admiral may go off looking for her and you know what sort of trouble he can cause when he’s allowed out. 🤭

lemongrove Fri 25-Oct-19 20:42:52

Ah, the ‘what are you wearing thread’ ( started by the Captain)
wink ......I told him not to do it!
I was actually wearing my loo cleaning outfit ( full rubber diving gear)with my rollers in and a hairnet, but didn’t want to over excite the old sea dog.

lemongrove Fri 25-Oct-19 20:48:38

Well, that’s the paint chosen, ten different shades, ‘ shagadelic
Baby!’ As Austin Powers likes to say.
Right you lot...... get cracking, the brushes are over there, Thor is already up the stepladder stripping the wallpaper with his tool and the Admiral will keep you supplied with booze and encouraging comments.

Doodle Fri 25-Oct-19 21:14:57

Up the stepladder stripping 😱....... with his tool ...(snigger)...oooh lemon you are awful ...but I like you 🤭

lemongrove Thu 31-Oct-19 08:24:06

Well, the bar is all decorated and ready for the Halloween punters, the pumpkins are lit🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🍾🥂the champagne on ice for the party, what are you all going to wear?
The Admiral is going to come as an octopus ( he has so many hands!) The Captain as a fishfinger, and I shall be a gorgeous mermaid.🧜🏼‍♀️

Doodle Thu 31-Oct-19 15:01:37

Is Halloween a bit different where you come from lemon. I don’t quite see how you’re going to hang on to your broomstick dressed as a mermaid 🧜‍♀️ you’ll just slide off. As for an octopus and a fish finger !!!
I shall of course be arriving 🧹 resplendent in my see through black dress, thigh high leather boots and my very pointed hat to bewitch all the punters and make them all buy me endless drinks ......or I’ll turn them into frogs. 🐸

Carillion01 Thu 31-Oct-19 16:32:24

Well I don't care what you say about Halloween Doodle, I'm coming as a water nymph nymphette

(Falling off the bar tool, swigging the latest Argy brew)
😈😈😈 you'll be sorry you haven't tried the mermaid/ side-saddle broomstick position

Doodle Thu 31-Oct-19 18:05:56

Hmm. I’ve heard all about you nymphette types! Sex mad the lot of you. Better keep your eye on the Admiral lemon although with 8 arms he can probably take care of both of you at the same time.

Well I’m still sticking to traditional mode and my broomstick is being ridden astride as is my usual position! I’m off to drum up some punters (they may not be the usual crowd, I’ve got some magic potion to draw them in). Oh here comes the first one. My he’s very tall..... I wonder why he’s got a bolt through his neck... just take care of him for me Carillion. By the way I think he’s called Mr Adams and someone called Lurch is coming in later. Must dash..byeeee🧹🧹🧹

lemongrove Thu 31-Oct-19 18:11:41

Haha....that was just Thor in his Lurch costume! Don’t he look sexy though?
The bar is almost full.....I knew my mermaidy cleavage would bring them all in tonite, now then free pernod and absinthe on the house, cheers!

Doodle Thu 31-Oct-19 21:38:28

Wot cleavage lemon .....can you please put those chicken fillets back in the fridge. I was going to have them for dinner tomorrow. Sigh...🎃🎃🎃🧹👻👻

lemongrove Thu 31-Oct-19 21:59:55


lemongrove Sun 03-Nov-19 15:12:33

We have been so busy here in The Argy since the GE was called, I think the customers are drowning their sorrows!
Still (rubs hands gleefully) it’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good, as they say and we are raking it in.
Thor cannot have any time off this week ( Trev vanished some time ago, some say to The Rat In Hand.)We are severely short staffed, as marydoll never returned from Italy, Buffyran off with the whelk delivery man and Big Jim jumped ship ( onto a banana boat, bound for the West Indies) I still can’t hear the song ‘Day-O’ without a tear falling.sad

GrannyGravy13 Sun 03-Nov-19 15:55:39

I am armed with rubber gloves, bucket, mop and bleach, ready to clean the toilets........I may be a while!!!!!

Line the drinks up lemon it's thirsty work.

lemongrove Sun 03-Nov-19 15:59:37

Well done GG you are a fine upstanding woman ( although you won’t be for long with all that booze.)
Stick to orange squash until your work is done......then you can join me in the bar for a sundowner or two.🍹🍹

Doodle Sun 03-Nov-19 20:28:00

Nice to see you two hard at work for a change (nice of you to leave me to do all the clearing up after the Halloween party lemon 🎃) I’m still trying to scoop up all that pumpkin mess after your mammoth carving session.
As for charley eating her dinner off the toilet seat, you know full well she won’t do that ....unless you light the candelabra and stand it on the cistern and use those paper napkins with the flowers on (you know she won’t use the toilet paper)
granygravy you’ve done a sterling job. I’ll put some drinks on the bar for you but don’t let the Admiral in tonight. He’s been for a double curry and you know what that will do to the clean lavs. 😱

soop Mon 04-Nov-19 14:54:39

I've been slaving over a hot oven all morning. Managed to find a bag of flour use by date year 2000. Extracted as many silver fish as I could catch. Dumped some marg into the mix and stirred like crazy. Result is a bit lumpy but nothing that a short sharp blast of heat won't improve. The result is a sort of tray bake. Not very pretty. Beggars can't be choosers. I've spinkled a generous handful of hundreds and thousands over the top. Any denture wearers - beware. Be assured it's not grit swept off the kitchen floor. As if. I am far too classy for a gritty kitchen floor. wink

Doodle Mon 04-Nov-19 14:59:02

Wow soop how lovely. Your traybake sounds delicious (🤢).
We’ll dish it up tonight with some poteen to wash it down with (failing that we needed a new doorstop anyway)

The old Argy will do good trade now with the sparkling clean loos and cake on the bar. All we need now are some customers. lemon fetch!!

lemongrove Mon 04-Nov-19 19:24:51

Had a strange encounter today, a bearded old gent in an anorak came in and bought a tomato juice, then started to
‘Hold court’ in the bar.He looked vaguely familiar and was
Telling anyone who would listen what he could do for our country( and good salt of the earth folks like us)..he asked if we were paying our staff well.Bloomin’ cheek! I told him straight ‘they get all the poteen they can drink and a clip round the ear’...then I showed him the door ( the one that
leads into the kitchen that I’ve just painted) he liked the bright red colour.
Unfortunately I left him with the Admiral and a few minutes later there was a punch up, as the old sea dog had been on the
Brandy all afternoon.The bearded old gent left quickly, in fact he forgot his Lenin hat.. I am wearing it as we speak, it gives a quirky touch to my outfit.
Must dash.....Thor needs a hand with another difficult customer, a hefty blonde chap who is posing for selfies and demanding champagne while he dishes out blue leaflets ( he was eyeing my silver thigh boots earlier) let’s get that bum outa here!

lemongrove Mon 04-Nov-19 19:26:44

Thank you dear soop much appreciated, we will flog it for
50pee a slice.

Doodle Mon 04-Nov-19 20:56:00

No peeing in the bar lemon not now GG has cleaned the loos. My goodness we have become popular with some strange groups.
Time for a drink methinks....large one all round lemon? And a drink to follow 😀😗

lemongrove Mon 04-Nov-19 21:04:26

Yes, mine’s certainly a large one Doodle I can hardly get onto a bar stool these days.
Cheers wine keep them coming, it’s been a difficult day.

Doodle Mon 04-Nov-19 21:14:28

We need bigger stools lemon my bum overlaps both sides now and sometimes when I leave at night I have a barstool firmly wedged between my buttocks blush. Perhaps we could invest in some of those cosy sofas the more upmarket places have ... and a small crane to lift me up out of them 😀

Doodle Fri 08-Nov-19 20:28:25

Ok you lot. Where are you. It’s Friday night, the punters are in and there’s only me and Thor to man the pumps (well that’s what he’s doing......I have my own version 😀)

Get yourselves back here sharpish and help out or I’ll keep all the poteen to myself.

lemongrove Fri 08-Nov-19 20:52:00

Phew! What a day.....sorry Doodle but I had to go all the way to Soops Kitchen to collect some tattie and neep pasties
For the Friday night customers.Just got back, and think I will eat one or two meself, they will go down nicely with a pint of
Old Uncle Fred’s best bitter.
The sofas are a great idea, I mean we do have some but they are so old and saggy and crumpled...oh wait a mo, that’s the Admiral and GrannyGravy13 fast asleep on them, let’s just roll them gently onto the floor shall we, and have a sit down.

Doodle Fri 08-Nov-19 22:01:03

That’s more like it. soop’s tattie and need pasties are the best for soaking up the alcohol. Like cardboard and blott8ng paper. Delicious 😋

soop Sat 09-Nov-19 11:58:50

Doodle Don't go spreading the word that my baking is something to be sampled willy nilly...I pride myself on serving the discerning. Not many of those in the Argy wink

soop Sat 09-Nov-19 11:59:39

Tykes!!! The lot of you.

Doodle Sat 09-Nov-19 20:23:56

soop willy nilly are not words to be banded about lightly in the Argy. You never know what might happen next 😱

lemongrove Sat 09-Nov-19 22:44:38

Too right!🤣
The Old sea dogs in the corner may be ‘one foot in the grave’
But like the song ‘give them half a chance and they can still misbehave’ 😱
Getting late, let’s get these customers out and lock up the bar.

Doodle Sat 09-Nov-19 22:53:11

One for the road lemon? 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

PamGeo Sat 09-Nov-19 22:57:21

This has really cheered me up, wine grin

PamGeo Sat 09-Nov-19 22:58:08

I've not been out out for weeks

Doodle Sat 09-Nov-19 22:59:04

Have a drink on the house pam. We aim to please. 🍺😀

PamGeo Sat 09-Nov-19 23:04:29

wine cheers Doodle

lemongrove Sun 10-Nov-19 08:37:53

A new member of staff?Or just a customer? Either way, welcome to the bar Pam put your feet up here anytime you like, or if you’re feeling energetic, the mop and bucket are out the back and put plenty of Dettol in (before Doodle drinks it all.)😁

Doodle Sun 10-Nov-19 18:39:52

8.37!! 😱. What on earth are you doing up at 8.37 lemon........unless of course, you haven’t been home yet. What were you up to last night you naughty lemon and more importantly, who with 😀

lemongrove Sun 10-Nov-19 19:35:28

That’s for me to know and you to find out Doodle Haha 😄
I don’t do much sleeping these days mind you, we have to make the most of life in our twilight years.🥳🥂🍹🍸🎉🎊🎈

lemongrove Sat 16-Nov-19 17:12:31

Am wondering if we should put on a Christmas meal at lunchtimes, everyone likes it and why not make a bit of cash ahead of the rush?
It doesn’t have to be turkey, we can be creative ( ahem!) must add a few sprouts to the shopping list.I wonder if Soop will make some Xmas puds for us?Whaddya think?
Am starting to wear my Christmas bling, this gold glitter top goes well with my silver hotpants and the reindeer headband.
As the lease for the bar ends before Christmas, let’s go out in a blaze of glitter and lights shall we?😄⭐️🌟💥

Doodle Mon 18-Nov-19 19:23:31

Yeah. Right with you lemon I’m sure soop will provide some tasty morsels.
Who votes for a Christmas pudding onion bargy kebab. Yummy 😝

Urmstongran Mon 18-Nov-19 19:44:58

Just popped in for a quickie on my way home. Home, for the next few weeks is Malaga, some 1,200 miles from Manchester so can you be quick about it? I’ll have a pint. .... of wine (as Nessa would say). Sorry to rush but I won’t have time to hang about at the bar, sure you’ll understand!

D’ya like my blue bikini? Bought it yesterday and had to pose in it as I’m pleased with my figure since the new diet. Must say it’s a bit nippy wearing it over here - good job I brought my teddy coat as a wrap for going back to the airport.....

Doodle Mon 18-Nov-19 22:30:36

Ooh urm dressed like that you’ll fit in well here. Mind you ok wouldn’t fancy you’d last long dressed like that with the Admiral and Captain about. Goodness only knows what lemon would think if she saw you 😱😡

Carillion01 Tue 19-Nov-19 10:28:20

Lemon, love the Christmas advert for The Argy but how did you persuade Thor and the Admiral to dress up as The Cheeky Girls!!??😈😈 Genius.
We'll definitely beat that John Lewis to top prize this year.

Think what cracked it tho was your appearance at the end, twerking swirling across the screen in your basque and spandex.
Just off to get the stuff for our Christmas 'do' spray tans 🎄

Doodle Tue 19-Nov-19 14:24:54

Right, come on you lot. Thor give me a hand while I get up the ladder 😡 no not there! Now come on this is serious business, we need these fairy lights put up and someone needs to bring in that tree from outside. 🌲. We need to make the place more festive like lemon said.
Be on your best behaviour, she’ll be in later to check.
carillion stop gawping at that calendar and put some decorations up ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨✨✨
Admiral that Santa costume is for later (sigh) 🎅🏻

Carillion01 Tue 19-Nov-19 14:44:07

Doodle, you shouldn't have posed as Ms November with Thor with just the glitter ball for coverage then not expect me to ogle it. Anyway, I've just poured our afternoon Baileys and vermoooooth snifter, hurry up, lem will be back in a mo 😈🍸🍸😈

lemongrove Tue 19-Nov-19 15:09:48

Ah! Hard at work I see.....just as it should be and not a moment too soon, as I have to get this job lot of mince pies into the larder.We can start warming them up anytime, lovely with a spot of cream (from the pound shop, expiry date two years ago, don’t let anyone see the boxes!)
Soop will be over later with her home made stollen ( I dread to think!)Anyone got the sprouts on?
Christmas lunches are ten pounds each and check each note for forgeries.🧐

Doodle Tue 19-Nov-19 22:27:29

Ok bossy boots. Me and carillion have been hard at it. Not a drop of alcohol has passed our lips #innocent face 😇By the way lemon, you know you said we were going out with a bang at Christmas. Well I’ve bought a job lot of jelly to make a Big Bang 💥. .......I bought strawberry that the right sort 🤔

Doodle Wed 20-Nov-19 22:29:21

lemon get your voluptuous body back in the Argy. If we’re going to get to 1000 posts you need to stop fooling around with Thor (though how he has the energy after carillion’s finished with him I don’t know 😀) and get cracking with the Christmas preparations. Stick the tree up 🌲

Doodle Thu 21-Nov-19 21:09:49

LEMON. Where are you? 😡

Doodle Thu 21-Nov-19 23:13:01

CARILLION come on you two wake up.
At the booze again I suppose. 🥃🍺

lemongrove Fri 22-Nov-19 15:21:39

Sorry! Have been on a three day bender with Alf from the
Undertakers next door.I know he looks a bit doleful, but that’s his work face, he’s a right little mover in his leisure time....
We had a great time, popped over to Calais, and here I am back again with six cases of prosecco for Christmas week and
A selection of French cheeses ( only slightly out of date.)

lemongrove Fri 22-Nov-19 15:26:43

Have brought a big box of Xmas decs from the loft, we had them last year in the bar, just shake the dust off.
A tree, garlands and Chinese lanterns, lovely!
Doodle I wish you’d remove your ginger wig, it’s ben on the bar for ages, Thor thought it was a stray cat and had been putting a saucer of sardines on the bar top for it every day.
He was puzzled when I told him what it really was, and said that the sardines were always that point, the Admiral ( who was ear wigging as usual) sloped off looking guilty.

Doodle Fri 22-Nov-19 16:21:10

Ok back again and stroppy as usual I see lemon. I thought we could invite the whole of soop’s kitchen to join us for a Christmas party to make sure we make the most of it before our closing down sale. I’m sure soop would be up for it and even make some tasty (!) nibbles.

Doodle Fri 22-Nov-19 16:22:12

By the way, the Admiral has taken to wearing my wig. He says it smells nice 🙄

Carillion01 Fri 22-Nov-19 17:34:39

Doodle, no need to shout! I'm here, ready and waiting for phase 2 of The Argy Christmas deccy extravaganza, I wasn't recovering from our cocktail tasting fest. (Whispering because lemons about, doing her quality check)

Just going to prep our fairy dust, tutu outfits for the 'au revoir' concert. lemon said it had to be a tasteful affair... 🤑🤑🤑
Rumour has it lemons Oz beau, Big Bruce, the cricketer, is going to surprise her with a 'visit'. Whoo!hooo!

Just off to do so me drinking dusting in the cellar, saw a salty old gentleman descend the stairs and the sun's now over the yardarm.....🍷🍷🍷🍷🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹

lemongrove Fri 22-Nov-19 18:42:23

Watch out Carillion as that salty old gent now has a whiff of sardines about his person.😬Wonder what he’s after in the cellar? Is marydoll down there by any chance?

lemongrove Fri 22-Nov-19 18:44:07

If Big Bruce is coming over for the Christmas Party I had better start a beauty routine!
First up, shave my cleavage.😊

Doodle Fri 22-Nov-19 20:15:17

Right oh lemon I’ll help you. It’s about time I got the old lawnmower out again.
Our farewell party will need to be kept under wraps till closer the time. We don’t want to peak too soon (i.e. run out of booze).
carillion for goodness sake get the salty old sea dog out of the cellar before he drinks us dry 😡

lemongrove Fri 22-Nov-19 22:10:09

That’s the trouble with being too salty, it gives one a thirst.

Doodle Sat 23-Nov-19 19:53:13

carillion’s not supposed to lick him lemon 🙄 just get him out of the cellar 😉

lemongrove Sun 24-Nov-19 20:55:53

Where’s that work dodger Chewbacca got to?I could do with a hand getting all these sprouts into the back room.
We sold thirty Christmas Dinners today, the cash register could hardly keep up! I put extra salt on the roasties ( an old trick) and the customers kept racing to the bar to get more beers in.Result! Ker-ching.
I shall sit here by the log fire and reminisce on times gone by,with a large schooner of port (as befits an old Naval gal like me) and put me feet up on Jason the Alsation.Bliss!

Doodle Sun 24-Nov-19 21:05:14

Take it easy lemon with all these dinners. It’s a long time till Christmas we don’t want to peak too soon. I’ve booked a coach load of naturists in for next weekend. I suppose we should put a nut roast on the menu or some dumplings that’s what they eat isn’t it? Naturists are like vegetarians, right ? 🤔

Chewbacca Sun 24-Nov-19 21:14:36

Here I am Lemon. Don't worry about the sprouts, I fed those to Lola the goat this afternoon. We'll have plenty of manure to put on the allotment, judging by her output in the last hour. Can I have a drink? A bottle of Tia Maria and shot of brandy would be acceptable. smile

lemongrove Sun 24-Nov-19 21:17:56

Something like it Doodle ( bless her, she’s lived a sheltered an institution)😁
I will do a bit of baking tomorrow and then freeze them, nut cutlets, mince pies, sprout quiche, and a great quantity of Xmas puds.I keep finding currants all over the place and putting them in a jar ( well, they look like currants) anyroad,
I shall add them to the puds.

lemongrove Sun 24-Nov-19 21:20:34

At last! No time for drinking, now you’re here, make yourself useful and take your turn behind the bar, Thor had to leave earlier, to go to his ballet class.
Hands out of the till please!

Doodle Sun 24-Nov-19 21:21:38

Will they like their nuts being frozen lemon ?
As for the currant things, ask chewy they fell out of her pocket when she came in (there seems to be something squirming round in there too) do you think she’s found one of the missing ferrets?

Doodle Sun 24-Nov-19 21:22:58

Sorry got to dash. Thor left his pink tutu behind. I need to catch him before he performs without it 😱

Chewbacca Sun 24-Nov-19 21:37:58

Those nuts belong to Thor!

lemongrove Sun 24-Nov-19 21:41:30

Ah! Is that why he complained about me touching them?

Doodle Sun 24-Nov-19 21:43:13

He doesn’t complain when I touch them 😉

Chewbacca Sun 24-Nov-19 21:44:46

Well...... they are on the small side and, as you can see, they fall off easily.

Doodle Sun 24-Nov-19 22:35:42

😱 do they re grow?

Chewbacca Sun 24-Nov-19 22:48:16

Well...... they were originally like cannon balls but years of cramming them into a leotard and tutu were his undoing Doodle. However, there is an upside...... he can now stand on his point. Allegedly.

lemongrove Sun 24-Nov-19 23:32:18

I may have to take his hammer away .....I don’t want crushed nuts all over the bar top.
Right, everybody out, am calling Time and locking up the bar ( and fitting an alarm to the till....Marydoll still has a key to this place.)Until tomorrow, sweet dreams all

Doodle Mon 25-Nov-19 21:41:28

Ahem, and by point you mean what exactly chewy? blush
No wonder lemon keeps him all to herself.

lemongrove Wed 27-Nov-19 21:48:01

I think the point has got a bit blunted lately 😱

Sorry to be in so late ( and miss my turn cleaning the lavs) but have been doing my Christmas shopping , first stop Harrods, second stop The Pound Shop ( once I had clocked Harrods prices).In the end, I bought you all a giant Toblerone.☺️

Doodle Wed 27-Nov-19 21:57:50

It was sharp before 😱 that could be painful (might explain the holes in the floor though 🤔)

Giant Toblerone lemon! With all those corners! What are you trying to do to us? Er, how big is a giant one lemon? 🤭

Doodle Fri 29-Nov-19 19:35:23

Ok lemons’s busy with the ball so I have free run of the Argy. Over here boys, you are all mine 😄😄😄😄😄😄

lemongrove Fri 29-Nov-19 20:31:10

Haha! Well, even I can’t be in two places at once Doodle☺️
A giant toblerone is the biggest one I could find in the shop,
(For £1) and my generosity knows no need to share you have one each.

No boys in here btw, they’re all over seventy, so go easy, think of their dicky tickers!

lemongrove Fri 29-Nov-19 20:34:18

While I’m here, pour me a large rum and poteen, I shall be in the comfy chair with the Admiral if anyone wants me.

Doodle Fri 29-Nov-19 21:16:03

Thor is not over 70 also I’ve been out and recruited a couple more to help with the Christmas rush. Meet Randy and Dandy. Nice boys. Just standing on the street corner so I invited them in. 😊

Doodle Sat 30-Nov-19 16:23:53

lemon wake up! You’re squashing the Admiral and he’s complaining. So are the punters, your snoring is waking them up 😡

lemongrove Sun 01-Dec-19 08:42:03

Well, Thor may not be over 70 but you have to admit...he’s seen better days.
Am opening the bar early today ..
Offering coffee and mince pies to the Christmas shoppers, charge them £3
It will be easier than doing the dinners, am sick of peeling spuds and sprouts.

lemongrove Sun 01-Dec-19 08:44:55

C’mon Doodle get the log fire going and I’ll switch on the fairy lights ( a fair division of labour) and get the coffee machine plugged in.
Anyone fancy an early snifter of schnapps?

Charleygirl5 Sun 01-Dec-19 10:15:40

lemongrove It fails to amaze me how you noticed the lavs have been cleaned because they are certainly not up to my high standard. Does nobody realise our loos actually flush? I knew I should have stayed away.

Carillion01 Sun 01-Dec-19 11:36:09

Ahhhh! Nearly time for the Argy big bash! Can't wait.

Loving your haute coooture for the big event Lemon, specially the spangly basque and knickers but not sure about the Doc Martens?? What's Doodle wearing? not that leopard skin and feather tutu again! I wouldn't want to turn up in the same toggs plus, I intend nicking borrowing her stuff 😈😈😈

Just poured a round of early 'bash' Argy cocktails following your eye of newt receep. They're on the bar, hurry up, CHEERS and toodle pip xxxxxxxx

Doodle Sun 01-Dec-19 11:45:20

Crumbs if we start on that lot this early carillion we’ll never last till Christmas. Oh well, down the hatch 🥳
Ok lemon the fires on and I’m just going to squirt some poteen in the loos to make charleygirl happy (poteen being stronger than bleach any day).
More mince pies coming up - don’t drop them on the floor they might crack the tiles.
I have a new outfit for Christmas. Lurex sparkly leggings with a white basque top fitted with flashing Fairy lights in certain strategic places and a sparkly tiara so there carillion tchgrin

Charleygirl5 Sun 01-Dec-19 18:04:22

At least Doodle you noticed the lavs needed cleaning so thank you.

thankfully I do not like mince pies- I would end up without any teeth and at present, they are all my own. I have not decided what to wear- I can no longer wear high heels so that narrows it somewhat.

the outfits I have seen I would be paying on the never ever forever. You lot will be pie-eyed so you would not notice if I arrived wearing a nightdress and dressing gown. I will probably wear wellies because heaven knows the state of the floors.

lemongrove Wed 04-Dec-19 21:41:02

Well, here I am, whaddya think of the outfit? Unexpected hey?I knew it would knock you all for six.....look at your envious eyes! 😊
I thought we would go out with a bang, all dressed up like a dog’s dinner, seeing as how we have nearly reached the end of the road, sigh.
Come in, dear regulars, put your feet up and enjoy a large one on the house from now on in ( I have spent all the money in the till btw on my new outfit.)

lemongrove Wed 04-Dec-19 21:48:32

.....and if these are to be (sob) my last words in The Argy, I would like to thank you all for your invaluable contributions over the years. The constant lav cleaning, the baking, the pulling pints, the chasing of the barmen, the chucking out of the drunken Admiral and The Captain, the clearing up after Jason the alsation, the catching of escaped ferrets, the catching of the escaped George Clooney, the brushing of Marydolls ginger wig ( which we thought was a cat for some time, asleep on the bar.)
For all the hard work organising talent nites, karaoke nights,
And anything to bring in some much needed cash.
Take a bow, all of you😃 xxxxxx

Doodle Wed 04-Dec-19 22:38:57

Oh lemon I feel so sad. What will become of all those sequinned outfits, what happens if the ferrets come back looking for us? What will soop do with all her cooking?
Will we be missed? I think you aught to make a new thread to announce the closure of the Argy and offer some of the stuff for sale so that everyone knows the time has come ....... How much do you think we’d get for Thor? I must go any lie down now. It’s all too emotional 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷😱

Doodle Wed 04-Dec-19 22:39:28

Ought not aught

lemongrove Fri 06-Dec-19 20:06:56

Well, time for the last few words on here, I fear an auction wouldn’t bring much in, Thor has decamped and taken Jason the alsation, the ferrets have all deserted us ( the rats!) the ginger wig has vanished ( maybe it really was a cat, after all)
And the Admiral and the Captain are off on naval manoeuvres.
One last look around the bar, and a last pint of poteen, what fun it’s been.....but life moves on.
Cheers! wine

This discussion thread has reached a 1000 message limit, and so cannot accept new messages.
Start a new discussion