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Things children say [smile]

(138 Posts)
BradfordLass72 Thu 11-Jul-19 04:04:04

Reminiscing with a friend.
She sent her son (7) outside to watch Dad mending the car. When he came in Mum asked, 'Did Dad say what was wrong with it?'
'Yes,' said, the wee boy, 'some cake was stuck in there.'
Puzzled, she questioned her DH later. The boy had asked if the problem was serious and Dad had answered, 'No, son, it's a piece of cake.'

One of my sons, when he needed the lavatory would say, descriptively, 'My bottom's heavy.'

What's your offspring's droll or funny saying?

Bordersgirl57 Thu 11-Jul-19 07:12:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bordersgirl57 Thu 11-Jul-19 07:28:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NannyJan53 Thu 11-Jul-19 08:09:23

When my now 8 year old DGD was 5, she asked her Mum what were the 5 senses.

DD listed them, sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch.

DGD then asks, "what about sense of humour"? grin

annodomini Thu 11-Jul-19 09:48:15

During a particularly noisy thunderstorm, toddler son came into our bedroom and complained: 'Man with big drum waked me up!'

Jillyblom59 Thu 11-Jul-19 09:58:44

My daughter asked me if she could have an “ upstairs downstairs cozimashoom”....... she meant a bikini!
We still call them that to this day. 😂

coast35 Thu 11-Jul-19 10:00:41

My grandson just newly 9 said to me last week “Granny back in the olden days when I was at nursery.”
I suppose it does seem a long time ago to him!

Blinko Thu 11-Jul-19 10:00:57

I asked my toddler DS1 what sort of eggs he wanted for breakfast. He thought for a moment or two then asked for splattered egg. Another time, he wanted knock-knock egg.

Splattered is of course, fried egg and knock-knock egg is boiled, when you tap the shell to break it before peeling.

Very inventive, I thought at the time.

Grannybags Thu 11-Jul-19 10:01:55

I have a letter which I wrote to my Dad when I was about 6 which said "Mammy is cranling on the flourbouts"

Never did find out what she was doing!

Cranling is still a word used by the family!

Theoddbird Thu 11-Jul-19 10:02:16

Not a funny comment....just strange coming from a two year old. Son said...of course when you die you come back as another baby...

hereshoping Thu 11-Jul-19 10:07:37

Years ago, I was rather pleased with the results of my dieting and keep fit regime and was trying on a new swimsuit. My DD then about 7 said "You look lovely Mummy, just like Ma Larkin" .

jaylucy Thu 11-Jul-19 10:07:57

My son had us puzzled for ages with his school dinner that was orange footprints , we eventually found out was ravioli!
I was also told that he said he liked the Scotch but not the egg!!
GD asked her pappy why his face had "crinkles" - same GD claimed that"I'm not a spotty person" when choosing a new dress - one of which had polka dots!

Laurensnan Thu 11-Jul-19 10:09:08

My grandson ordered fish and chips for his meal when we were out. When they brought it he tucked in and ate all the chips. Then he left the rest. "what about the rest? Why did you order it if you don't want it?". He said "I do want fish and chips, it's my favourite .... but without the fish" 🤔

annifrance Thu 11-Jul-19 10:11:26

When my DD and DS iL were extending their cottage my 2yr old DGS called it the brown house.

annifrance Thu 11-Jul-19 10:12:02

Edit! the broken house!

Laurensnan Thu 11-Jul-19 10:12:47

My son at 3 called the hoover a hoomer. He's now 34 with his own kids and is an intelligent man......yet he still calls it a hoomer 😃

Diggingdoris Thu 11-Jul-19 10:13:48

My friend's daughter came home from first day at school saying she didn't want to go again as they use plastic toilet paper! That was in the days of that Izal scratchy stuff!

paddyann Thu 11-Jul-19 10:14:00

my friends son wouldn't eat his burger at a nice local restuarant...because it was upside down? The waiter took it back to the kitchen where the chef apparently turned it the right way up for him..and he ate it

Nona4ever Thu 11-Jul-19 10:14:25

A friend was getting dressed and her 4 year old helpfully passed over her bra.
‘Here’s your boobie-pants, mummy.’

UnclaspedBrinks Thu 11-Jul-19 10:15:44

I was once out for a walk with my then 3-yr old Son. He was walking by my side. An older gentleman was walking toward us.

My son points in the direction of the man walking towards us and starts shouting, "PERVERT!", "PERVERT!" shock.

At this point the gentleman was a little out of earshot (what with the noise of the passing traffic) and I start asking my son what he means (he can't possibly have had any understanding of the word etc) and ultimately trying to subtly get him to be quieter. He continues, more excitedly and even louder, "PERVERT!", "PERVERT!", "PERVERT!" and thrusting his arm with each shout, pointing in the direction of the man walking towards us.

The man is now in earshot, he's heard what my son is shouting, he looks shocked and as though he's about to protest his innocence, we make eye contact, I pick my son up and just as I do, I notice there's a large black crow perched on a wall a little further behind the man who's now pretty much next to us and I realise this (the bird) is what my son had had been pointing at and it occurs to me what he thought he'd been saying... I respond (LOUDLY) "Oh! you mean a PARROT [son's name], you think that bird is a PARROT?" and my son replies, "YES! A PARROT! A PARROT!"

I laugh (loudly), shoot the man an apologetic look and quickly walk on past him, highly embarrassed, cringing, though admittedly chuckling to myself.

I do hope that man got over it grin

henetha Thu 11-Jul-19 10:17:28

My son, a bird lover, tried to teach his children the names of birds in the garden. On day a Wood Pigeon was walking about outside and he asked his younger daughter, aged three then, "What's the name of that bird?".
A look of desperation crossed her face and she eventually said "Trevor".
All Wood Pigeons are now known to us as Trevor.

GinJeannie Thu 11-Jul-19 10:17:30

Apparently, after a holiday in our caravan in Malvern, DGD asked her Mum, our DD, if they could have the caravan when Nan and Grandad die!

helenmabr Thu 11-Jul-19 10:19:48

My four year old at Christmas asked “Gran why have you got that shiny wool on your wall? Meaning tinsel! And another time “Gran can we play picking flowers .com” .....only a child of today!

Mouse Thu 11-Jul-19 10:23:14

My youngest daughter went on a nature trip with her nursery school. When she came home she was very excited because she had seen a pancake tree! Took us ages to figure out what she meant. Pancake =oatcake, oatcake=oak. She’d seen an oak tree

Deni1963 Thu 11-Jul-19 10:23:58

My then 2 year old grandaughter quotes
In a mimit Nana. .....
Meaning minute. We now use mimit instead 😂

chris8888 Thu 11-Jul-19 10:27:55

In London last week walking past St Pauls Cathedral my neice says ‘Wow the Romans were so good at building things’!! Ok then lol

chicken Thu 11-Jul-19 10:28:30

My brother when little had a prolonged stay in hospital and, when back home, begged Mum not to give him "shiny pudding". One day, she dished up tapioca pudding and it was greeted with floods of tears and wails of "I told you not to give me shiny pudding"!

Blinko Thu 11-Jul-19 10:36:37

We were on holiday at a caravan park and our sons had been playing with other kids on the site. I asked DS1 who his new friend was. 'Oh', he said, 'do you mean the spotted boy, that's Ears'.

Turned out the lad was called Ian and had freckles....

Grandmabeach Thu 11-Jul-19 10:38:24

We recently had a holiday with all our family. The 5 year old decided to have a competition for the best drawing but only herself and Grandpa knew about it. She decided that Grandpa's was the best. Later that day she produced a winner's certificate. She then went up to Grandpa and whispered in his ear telling me it was a secret. When I asked later what she had said DH replied that she had asked him to leave it on his bed for her when he dies as she was the runner-up! He is only 72. Hopefully it will be many years before we have to find it!

Belleringer Thu 11-Jul-19 10:41:43

When my daughter was small she had long hair and when I washed it I would wrap a towel round in a 'turban'. One bathtime she said 'I don't mind having my hair washed Mummy, but please don't put a turnip on my head'

Mcrc Thu 11-Jul-19 10:44:15

I was in my swimsuit and talking about my tummy being too"fluffy". My grandaughter who is six was sitting with me at our bonfire and said, "Grandma, you have more fluffy spots on your arms!" Gotta love their honesty!

Marieeliz Thu 11-Jul-19 10:46:24

When we were small we were taken to my Uncle and Aunts for tea. It was shortly after the war and we were given half a tinned peach with evaporated milk in a dish. My brother said Auntie I don't like raw eggs! He was six years younger than me he died in 2010 I miss him every day.

mamaa Thu 11-Jul-19 10:47:49

My Grand-daughter attends a church school and during the Easter break was playing in our garden. She scratched her finger on something in the garden so I washed it and applied some antiseptic cream. She went back into the garden and Grandad asked if everything was alright now- ' oh yes,' she replied 'its all better now, Grandma put some Salvation cream on it'. She was referring to the Savlon cream I'd used! smile

Marguerita Thu 11-Jul-19 10:49:22

I said to my 4yr old DG, "Would you pass that book to me please pet.......?." She replied - 'We're not pets grandma, we're darlings'. Fair enoughsmile.

midgey Thu 11-Jul-19 10:58:32

Jaylucy, you are lucky to have crinkles, apparently my face is cracked!

NaughtyNanna Thu 11-Jul-19 11:02:31

Yes, midgey, apparently my face is cracked too. My older GS, when about 4 told DD he would like toast for breakfast....but not cooked!

Mollygo Thu 11-Jul-19 11:03:49

My DD always called her duvet as bedclo when she was little. It stuck when she was older because she said, bedclothes was wrong as she only had one duvet.

Marg123 Thu 11-Jul-19 11:05:09

I had a pregnant friend. On the rush hour bus on the way to nursery my daughter call down the bus to me “how’s the baby going to get out of Mary’s tummy mummy. The other passengers went very quiet then a voice said “go on answer that” sniggers all round then silence. My answer - I’ll tell you when we get home. Coward came another voice.

We all laughed, it cheered the journey up no end.

Yaya79 Thu 11-Jul-19 11:09:43

Nanny why have you got fur growing up your nose ? Oh dear!

Willow500 Thu 11-Jul-19 11:14:51

When my eldest son was about 7 or 8 he was getting excited about Christmas and decided to write a list of what he was going to have for his Christmas dinner. I wish I'd kept it but can remember the first item was 7 cuttings of'chicky' and it finished with 'one of everything else there is'! We still tease him about it now - he's 47!

My DIL had been giving my 5 year old GS ham sandwiches for his lunch for several days as he wouldn't eat anything else. A couple of weeks ago she told him he didn't need any that day as he would be coming home at lunch time. He said thank goodness I don't have to eat any more of that damned ham!! grin

missdeke Thu 11-Jul-19 11:18:31

I was practising for our village music hall show, all the usual songs including Waiting at the church. At a special family church service my husband told us to wait in the porch whilst he got the car as it was raining, my daughter looked at me with wide eyes and asked 'Is this the lurch mummy?'

Whilst on a ferry to Sweden my middle daughter then aged 2 looked at the vapour trails left by a plane in the sky and shouted excitedly 'sky pencil' Still known as sky pencils in our family.

Grammaretto Thu 11-Jul-19 11:21:34

My friend's children were clamouring for her to buy them treats at the supermarket. She told her 6yr old that he could have the sweetie bar if he could read the ingredients - out loud.
He got down to carnauba wax and his sister said ergh that's car wax!
I love carwax said the boy!

Coconut Thu 11-Jul-19 11:24:29

8year old grandson : “mummy made us go in the ladies changing room at the pool today as Daddy was working away. We saw 2 bums, 4 lots of boobs but at least we didn’t see any vagina’s “ 🤣

Apricity Thu 11-Jul-19 11:26:58

Long, long ago I said to my daughter, then aged about 3, that I was just going to 'dive into the toilet'. It took me a few moments to understand the look of horror on her face as she wondered what on earth I was about to do!

Coconut Thu 11-Jul-19 11:28:12

Son no:1 was very put out at the arrival of son no:2. I explained that we’d had another baby so he’d have someone to play with “I’m not playing with him, he’s not even a proper person” 😂

Patticake123 Thu 11-Jul-19 11:29:59

I’ve written this one before but it still makes me chuckle. Having complimented my SiL on a delicious meal my 5 year old granddaughter exclaimed ‘yes nanny , my daddy is a good cooker, he’s a better cooker than you’. Love it!

Swanny Thu 11-Jul-19 11:41:27

Deni1963 we call them 'mimits' too, thanks to DGS. He also combined a hug with a cuddle so we now have 'huggles'. Don't you just love them grin

GrannyLaine Thu 11-Jul-19 11:49:32

My one and a bit year old son listening to his Daddy shaving in the bathroom exclaimed "Face hoover!"

Rosina Thu 11-Jul-19 11:50:31

Listening to some pop music one day my serious little DS asked me 'Did they have music like this when you were alive?'
Most of these have made me laugh out loud - thank you everyone!

Urmstongran Thu 11-Jul-19 11:58:32

I’m giggling away here! Wonderful stuff.
🤣🤣

Purplepoppies Thu 11-Jul-19 12:01:53

Dd , then aged 10, packed bus after school. Rather loud voice... Mum, what's a blow job? Everyone stopped and looked waiting for my answer 🙄 I told her when we got home, in child terms, obviously. She'd heard it from a boy at school 😯

Hattiehelga Thu 11-Jul-19 12:04:03

My son is 45 now but we still call the garden hammock "the Haddock". We used to call having a wee "going for a tinkle" and my mobile hairdresser asked him one day if he was going to have a tinkle on the piano. Very indignantly he said "NO, in the cloakroom !".

user2058 Thu 11-Jul-19 12:06:41

When my son was about 3 we had a plumber in at our new house doing 'snagging'. As is customary,the plumber had a pencil behind his ear. My son followed him about all day and eventually whispered to me "How does he do his writing like that?"

SueLindsey Thu 11-Jul-19 12:12:19

I was once travelling on a coach with my 3 year old daughter when she pointed at the (bald) man in front of us and said loudly "That man's got skin on his head". At a similar age she pointed to a tattoed man and said "That man's been drawing on himself!!"

Esmenonna Thu 11-Jul-19 12:13:52

Walking my son home from his first day at school, he told me he couldn't believe everyone had ' the same clothes on!' He hadn't really enjoyed it much so I assured him that tomorrow would be different. 'I'm going back?!' he exclaimed.
Just the other day I asked my 3year old GD what she wanted to be when she was older. ' I want to be.....just like you.'

Dancinggran Thu 11-Jul-19 12:15:50

When my daughter was 5 (she's now 35) she said to my mum 'Grandma, when you were a little girl had the wheel been invented?' My mum was only 54 at the time!!!

annep1 Thu 11-Jul-19 12:17:23

Purplepoppies I would love to have heard your explanation.
Rosina you made me laugh out loud.
What a lovely thread. Thank you Bradfordlass72

BlueSapphire Thu 11-Jul-19 12:23:12

DS, aged around two always asked for grumbled (scrambled) egg, And loved bejjies (strawberries).

annep1 Thu 11-Jul-19 12:26:07

My young grandson came running in excitedly from school where they had been celebrating some royal event.
To mv atheist daughter - "Mummy, mummy, you have to believe in God now, because he saved our queen!"
Another time my daughter was trying to explain how to dial 999 in an emergency. Don't worry mummy. No need, if you're ever ill I'll pray for you!

Mossfarr Thu 11-Jul-19 12:27:32

When my son was about 5 we went on a caravan holiday with a large group of our family. My daughter said she needed the toilet - which was in a separate toilet block some distance away so I grumbled, " not again - you only went a few minutes ago"
My son piped up with "she must have a weak gladys" obviously he meant a weak bladder.
Needless to say it stuck and its still used today even though my son is now 36.
In a café my daughter (who is an extremely fussy eater) was reading the menu and couldn't find anything she would eat. After a few minutes she said "whats Kwitchie"?
It was quiche! She's never lived it down as she was 15 at the time!

Mapleleaf Thu 11-Jul-19 12:27:58

My DH was doing some diy once which required the use of his jig saw. Our neighbours little boy heard him say to me, “I need to get the jig saw for this”, to which the little boy piped up “I’ve got a jigsaw”.

gransal Thu 11-Jul-19 12:33:03

When Dgd was about 3, she was helping me look for mozzarella cheese in the supermarket. I was having trouble finding it so she said maybe they don't have mostly yella cheese in this shop .

Foxglove77 Thu 11-Jul-19 12:41:45

My daughter when much younger came running outside shouting "all the horses have been evaporated". She was watching the start of the Grand National on the TV. Due to a false start all the horses had been eliminated!

Mouse Thu 11-Jul-19 12:43:17

My eldest daughter called scrambled eggs strangled eggs. But the prize has to go to my youngest daughter. She once stood up in class and said an octopus has eight testicles! She also introduced us as her intermediate family and once told us about girl who hadn’t ‘battered an eyelash!’ To this day she has a habit of getting words almost right.

Suebcrafty Thu 11-Jul-19 12:59:01

My middle son,when he was 5 he’s now 33,said to his nan”What was it like when the dinosaurs were around?’
When my 2 oldest boys,when they were younger, were asked what sweet they wanted for a treat oldest son said Turkey and light( which was easy to work out was a Turkish delight) middle son said he would like a Dumpy and it took us ages to work out that he wanted a Bounty 😂😂

Nannyxthree Thu 11-Jul-19 13:15:13

I've just got back from the supermarket where a young mum was having a loaf sliced at the bakery counter. Her small son in his pushchair was horrified 'He's BROKEN our bread!'

When one of mine was small and had fallen out of bed I asked 'What happened to you?' 'The floor hit me!'. I was told.

HootyMcOwlface Thu 11-Jul-19 13:19:04

When my nephews were little, in the car driving through countryside with their mum (my sister), one pipes up from the back “mum look! that cow’s giving that cow a piggy back!” 😂

annab275 Thu 11-Jul-19 13:27:42

My 5 year old grandson and I were having a bit of a picnic after school in his backgarden. When his Dad came home, he said 'oooh Al fresco!'. Ted looked at his plate of babybels, carrot sticks and pita bread, and said in all seriousness 'No there's no al fresco!'

annab275 Thu 11-Jul-19 13:29:07

also my grandaughter insisted that she had tuna rats for lunch, not tuna wraps.

Gizmogranny Thu 11-Jul-19 13:36:20

My 6 year old granddaughter asked me why I had patterns on my face 😂 I think patterns sound much nicer than wrinkles 😂

Johno Thu 11-Jul-19 13:41:29

My 7 year old grandson was asked a question in school.. the right answer earned a sweet. "Whats 3 + 3? "6 miss," said he. Well done come and get sweet. "I don't effing want a sweet" he replied. Shock horror.... "Teacher - "I will not have that language in my class, stop it"!!! Teacher - "what's 4 + 4 ? .. my GS first to put his hand up .... "8 Miss". Teacher - "well done come and get a sweet". GS - "I dont want an effing sweet"!! Teacher - "thats it I will not have that language I will have your Father to this class to sort this out". Next day... Father stood at front of class with Teacher > Teacher - "Mr Bloggs I want you to watch this"?? Teacher - "OK children whoever gets the question right gets a sweet"!! Teacher - "what is 5 + 5"?? GS hand up, "10 miss". "Yes, well done come and get a sweet" GS - "I dont want an effing sweet"!! The Teacher turns to the Father and says - "well now Mr Bloggs, what have you got to say about that"??? Mr Bloggs replies - "well don't effing give him an effing sweet"!!!!!!

Jan51 Thu 11-Jul-19 13:58:18

I asked 6yr old DGS why he had to climb on everything, even thing not made for climbing on, the reply 'because it's my favourite thing nanny, I couldn't exist without climbing' - pause - 'nanny, what does exist mean'.

Opalsusanna1 Thu 11-Jul-19 14:26:07

Our son aged about 3 was playing with a toy farm yard in the dining room. He'd invited 2 little girls in from down the road and they were happily building the farm. I couldn't resist a little listen in from the kitchen. Suddenly my boy leapt up, climbed half way up the stair case and stopped. He appeared to have a little wooden chicken in his hand when he shouted down to his audience, 'You two have to do as I say. I'm in charge cos I'm the one with the cock!'

Our daughter used to tell everyone that her daddy played the petarga. Guitar.

Smileless2012 Thu 11-Jul-19 14:35:14

What a great thread, thanks BradfordLass I've laughed all the way through.

When our DS was about 3, our neighbours at the time had an outside loo. One day I heard him calling out "what are you doing Mrs. W.? wees or poos?

She came out looking very disgruntled and said "I was doing a wee not that that has anything to do with you".

Notsooldat75 Thu 11-Jul-19 14:46:09

My middle child, sick of hand me downs, said “all my clothes have had other people in them”!

Ohmother Thu 11-Jul-19 14:46:19

My nephew calls pickled onions tooooolaleeeese 😳

Diggingdoris Thu 11-Jul-19 14:47:18

Reading these has made me smile and remember the day my daughter came home from school to ask for something to take in tomorrow as they were having a harvest vegetable service! When I mentioned it to the teacher she said many children over the years have called it that.

chrissyh Thu 11-Jul-19 15:33:25

When my son was about 6 he was playing with his toys when he said 'bloody thing'. I said where did you get that word from. He replied, out of my throat.

gilljack68 Thu 11-Jul-19 15:40:26

When my daughter was about 2 we were at my sons Christmas play in the church. When the vicar walked in all dressed in white robes with a beard my daughter piped up loudly " mam, is that Jesus". The whole church laughed and she was the star of the show.

Callistemon Thu 11-Jul-19 15:41:47

This thread is hilarious, thanks BradfordLass

I am going to go out in the garden and shout 'Trevor!' and see if any pigeons answer grin

Sashabel Thu 11-Jul-19 15:44:06

My 3 year old DGS was sitting on the sofa with his aunt going through the Playmobil catalogue... Aunt points to the horses and says "oooh I'd like those" and DGS points to the fire engine "well, I'd like that" he says. On the next page she points to another item "well, I think I'd like that one" and he then points to several different Playmobil sets saying "I'd like that one, and that one and that one too". She turn to him and says "that's an awful lot of Playmobil you want, so what do you have to be to get that much for your birthday?" and he turns to her and says without blinking....
"in a shop"

Mild Thu 11-Jul-19 16:08:35

My daughter always wore prettycoats under her dress!

Mild Thu 11-Jul-19 16:14:46

In scouts we encouraged the children to cook withoutequipment, using foil or cleaned sticks instead. We called this Backwoods Cooking. The scouts called it backwards cooking. I don't know who.is right.

Drell Thu 11-Jul-19 16:28:17

My daughter was explaining to her daughter, 3 a half year old Ruby that she would soon be going to pre school nursery soon. She later heard Ruby telling her brother..."I'm a bigger girl now so I'm going to big girl school and mummy's getting me a unicorn."

I think my daughter needs to explain the difference between a uniform and a unicorn. [Confused]

Grammaretto Thu 11-Jul-19 16:35:59

when I was born at home in the 1940s, my big sister aged 2 and a half was told where I'd come from -, mummy's tummy and all that. The first visitors arrived to see the new baby including another small child who asked where the baby had come from.
"The doctor brought her in his bag" was my big sister's reply!

LizaJane24 Thu 11-Jul-19 16:47:46

We still have a Tilly ( utility) room. My twins collectively had hang dressers for putting clothes on. Peg liners for hanging washing out. Armsleeves on dresses and in summer they liked the ones that had bunky out armsleeves.

Overthehills Thu 11-Jul-19 17:19:14

Lovely thread, BradfordLass, thankyou so much!
DD, aged about 6, asked me in a kind voice,” Did they have horses and carriages in the olden days when you were alive Mummy?”.
My DGD said the other day that she loved my soggy old arms.

Coco51 Thu 11-Jul-19 17:42:40

Little GD in bed with me for her regular sleepover looking at my (admittedly) droopy boobs and asking ‘What are they doing down there’

Also the nativity story : ‘The baby Jesa went to London with camels and guns, but there was only one baby not two like Mummy had’ (her twin brothers)

skate Thu 11-Jul-19 17:43:32

What a lovely thread - so many to give me a laugh. I think my favourite is the pigeon called Trevor. I crease up every time I think about that one. When my son was little. I remember him sitting on the bottom step as I untied his shoes on a bitterly cold day. For some reason he had shorts on (I know, bad mummy, shorts on a freezing cold day) and he said, pointing at his legs "look, Mummy, all my feathers are standing up".

Evie64 Thu 11-Jul-19 18:03:54

When my eldest was 3 years old she said "Why is my "four head" called my forehead, I'm not four yet? After her birthday, she asked "when I'm five, will my forehead be called my five head"? Strange child.............. grin

Evie64 Thu 11-Jul-19 18:09:27

When my youngest (named Jessica) was about 4 or 5, she was sat on the toilet for ages. She suddenly called out, "Mummy, mummy, come quick"! I rushed there thinking goodness what's happened? She pointed down the toilet pan to a rather large poo and said "Look, it's a J"! She was sooo proud that she had poo'ed the first letter of her name! grin

Septimia Thu 11-Jul-19 18:10:23

Some 35 years ago toddler DS noticed a punk, with the typical hairstyle which was coloured black and white.
"Look, look! There's a skunk!"

sluttygran Thu 11-Jul-19 18:13:13

When DD was about three, we came home from a long walk and she quickly took off her little shoes.
“Ooh!” She said “My footsies gotta get their breath back!”

Evie64 Thu 11-Jul-19 18:21:56

Absolutely loving this thread! Bringing back so many memories of things my children and my grandchild have said over the years. Thank you so much BradfordLass

HiPpyChick57 Thu 11-Jul-19 18:44:32

Why is there not a like button on here? Honestly some of these are so funny.

My DD used to call a tomato sandwich a “pomato basamich”

Apparently my Df used to call beetroot “toot toot”

At the beach one day, about 15 years ago my 4yr old DN got a bit worried when my 18month old dd wandered a bit too far for his liking. He shouted at the top of his voice T- - -a... come back here THIS MINSTANT!!!

Another time not long after she had started school we got her two pets. A bunny and a little Westie puppy. She decided to announce this to all and sundry shouting from the top of the steps to anyone who would listen. “I’VE GOT A NEW BUNNY RABBIT AND A NEW PUPPY”! She paused for a second and then I nearly choked on my coffee when I heard her say ...”AND IVE GOT NITS”!!! 😱🤦🏼‍♀️
I’d gotten rid of the nits in the morning lol. That’s why she was home from school 🤷🏼‍♀️

Grammaretto Thu 11-Jul-19 18:54:26

I told anybody who'd listen that I had empty tigers -impetigo - when I was small.

Rosina Thu 11-Jul-19 18:56:09

On reading out an official beach notice to our children that no swimming was allowed that day because there were strong currents, our small DS marched back into the hotel and announced loudly and importantly 'No swimming today - there are cherries in the sea'.

Grammaretto Thu 11-Jul-19 18:56:45

and that the equator was an imaginary lion - line- which circled the earth. I can see that lion now.
I love Trevor the pigeon best too. I'm still giggling and just told DH.

annodomini Thu 11-Jul-19 19:01:45

DGD2 informed her teacher that her daddy was on drugs. He was a drugs intelligence officer in the local Police.
When I was little a boiled egg was 'a egg in a box' as opposed to a poached egg which was out of its shell.

Grandmama Thu 11-Jul-19 19:18:11

Back in about 2008 we watched a programme about Lindow man, found in a peat bog. The archaeologists named him Pete Marsh. DD2 was fascinated but wondered 'How do they know he was called Pete?'

We put rubbish in our 'Dubsin', have a 'Hole Man Cover' outside, clean with a 'vacoom cooner' and see 'Top Open buses' in town.