My dear friend’s husband died early this year. She is miserable all the time except when busy. She says her home is hollow and cold. I cannot see her very often but I do call quite a lot. Sometimes I phone when I know she is likely to be out as she has told me that opening the door to nothing is very hard. This way I can just say “hello” and “ thinking of you”, I know she appreciates the friendly voice just saying hello. She has told me she sometimes plays messages more than once to fill the void.
Cruse bereavement care is supportive in many areas. I wonder what your sister in law has near her?
I am so sorry for her loss. Those of us with happy relationships, like me, feel so lucky to still have them. When I think of my friend I feel as you do for your sister in law. Just “being there” is all we can do.
I have told my friend I am happy to get up in the night to chat if she feels desperate. I mean it. She knows it. She has not called me in the night but I have had several calls where she will mostly weep. She says this helps as she hates weeping to her children. ?
I think I am helping just by being available and acknowledging her on-going pain. Together we have accepted that the loss of someone deeply loved is inevitably harder than someone we don’t feel so close to and the pain is for the “absence” of that something good.
She does have a strong and close family and she’s keeping herself pretty busy. I hope, in time, the pain will lessen. I can’t help feel this is the end result of their deep and enduring love they had for each other. At least they had that. Some never do.
Just remind your sister in law that you care. Calls, little letters, a few flowers, more regular contact. All these will help.... but look after yourself too.