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Following on from the siblings thread - did you know you were moving house?

(72 Posts)
Willow500 Thu 24-Oct-19 17:54:12

I was 8 when we left my home town and moved to the seaside.

I was vaguely aware that we went about visiting different businesses in various towns but had no idea why. One night I was sent to stay over at a friend's house up the street and next day my parents picked me up but instead of taking me home we travelled for what seemed like hours and turned up at a grotty flat above a drapers shop. The only thing I do remember is my mother bursting into tears and the next day we went to stay in our caravan for a holiday. Apparently she was so upset at the state of the flat they thought a few days away would help. When we got back Dad got stuck in and transformed that flat to a lovely home while Mum ran the shop.

My husband also had no idea he was moving until they rocked up at the boarding house his parents had bought (ironically round the corner from our shop) when he was told he had moved to the seaside!

It seemed to be the norm back then for children to be kept in the dark about all things that 'didn't concern them' hmm

Gaunt47 Thu 24-Oct-19 18:15:06

As a very young teenager I helped with the packing up, then when the day came I went off to school as normal, but went home to a different house! And it was a little closer to school as it happens.
But you're right Willow, children weren't consulted about anything at all 'back in the day' - not even what we wanted to have for tea!

SirChenjin Thu 24-Oct-19 18:17:14

I remember being told we were not going on holiday that year because we were moving (Kent to Aberdeen, not just five minutes along the road). I remember we were driving home from being out shopping and I was eating a black cherry ice cream - that was 40 years ago. I was devastated, I had lovely friends I’d grown up with in our lovely village and took a long time to settle in the frozen north - I was quite unhappy and homesick but in those days children were expected to get on with it.

Davida1968 Thu 24-Oct-19 18:20:33

Sibling and I were "moved house" twice as children, (first time with both parents and the second time with one,) and both times we were were packed off to relatives, then we returned to the "new" home. (Pretty traumatic for me, both times.)

ladymuck Thu 24-Oct-19 19:24:01

I was four and told everyone we were going to live in Egypt. No-one believed me until we actually left. Even on the boat train to Southampton, the other people in the carriage thought I was telling fibs, until mummy confirmed it.

merlotgran Thu 24-Oct-19 19:32:10

Same here, ladymuck. We flew out though. It was my first time on a plane and I remember I was sick for the whole journey.

We then got thrown out thanks to the revolution.

When I was nine I told my school friends we were going to live in Aden and they didn't believe me because they didn't know where it was (neither did I at that point) Our lovely teacher had been forewarned and devoted the whole lesson to finding it on the globe and talking about the Red Sea and deserts etc.

I think I felt quite important that day. grin

ladymuck Thu 24-Oct-19 19:35:50

I see you have the same background as me, Merlotgran. Ruined my education but I wouldn't have had it any different.

BBbevan Thu 24-Oct-19 20:18:13

Yes, we were told we were moving. Mum, Dad, my sister and I had tea at my Grandma's then walked over the mountain to see our brand new, nearly built house. I was 7 at the time. Wonderful street we moved to. Loads of lovely friends. Sadly we moved again when I was 11. Right out of the country. Still I'm back now.

MamaCaz Thu 24-Oct-19 20:34:12

I was heading for 6, and it was only when an elderly neighbour said to me, "I hear you're flittin' " that I found out.

MiniMoon Thu 24-Oct-19 21:10:19

I lived in the same house from being brought home from the hospital, until I married age 30.

We moved when my children were in junior school. We included them in the house hunting, and the removal.

Willow500 Fri 25-Oct-19 06:25:01

I had a friend whose parents lived in Aden Merlot - her 4 sisters were born out there but her mum came back before my friend arrived. Back then I had no idea where it was and thought it was in Africa!

It seems to be a generational thing. I did know when my parents were selling up and buying a hotel when I was 14 and was very excited to be getting a bedroom with a sink in it grin

We moved 4 times after our children arrived and they were involved in the house selling (constantly being told to keep the place tidy in case of viewings) and buying. Similarly our granddaughters were included in a lot of the decision when their parents moved away. Things are so much more open these days - it's hard to keep anything secret!

Juliet27 Fri 25-Oct-19 07:00:50

We moved twice. I knew we were going to but I was sent to an aunt for the first move and didn’t have a say in what was packed. For the second move I was away on holiday and it was good to return to a far nicer house but on neither occasion were the actual moving/packing processes discussed but neither did I ask.

GreenGran78 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:13:39

My only move, as a child, was when my mum was ‘bombed out’ in Bootle, but I don’t remember as I was only a baby. My brother was three. Apparently we all slept on the floor in a church hall for several days, and lost most of our stuff in the air-raid. Luckily our landlord also had some houses in the south of Liverpool, and gave us one. So I grew up in a very pleasant area with lots of parks.
When I got married we moved 20 miles to a house near Haydock Racecourse, and I’m still here, 54 years later. My children are much more adventurous. Three live in Australia and the other two have lived abroad for lengthy times.
Parents were very reticent about telling their children anything about what was going on, years ago. I suppose they knew that we would tell our friends, and it would become common knowledge. People were much more private, in those days.

ninathenana Fri 25-Oct-19 10:27:44

We never moved. Mum and dad moved into the house with my then 3 yr old brother 18 mths before I was born. I moved out to get married in '75 dad died there in '85 and mum moved from there into a care home.
I don't know anyone else who spent their entire childhood/teen years in one home.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:31:38

I was 14 and so went with Mum to look at a house which we liked and being so naive didn't understand why someone then beat us to it. We settled for a smaller house round the corner.
We moved from a 3 bed semi to what should have been a 4 bed terrace but when the extra bedroom was measured (after signing all the paperwork) it was a couple of inches too short to fit a bed - really a boxroom. So I had to share a bedroom with my untidy sister. The unscrupulous seller had fibbed. He got away with it as he'd persuaded Mum and Dad to use the same solicitor to save money. It wasn't cheaper and he couldn't act against him and for us ifswim. Cunning.
We had to part with lots of childhood toys due to lack of space. Elder brother (who'd left home) got first dibs and got a lot of lovely old wooden jigsaw puzzles. I always hankered after some toys and books. Maybe that's why I have too many books now.

lizzypopbottle Fri 25-Oct-19 10:41:47

I was born in my grandparents house in Liverpool, my mum took me back, at three weeks old to Cricklewood, London. At age five we moved to Bury, Lancs. At six years old we were in Romiley, near Stockport. At nine my sisters and I were moved to Sutton Coldfield, then at almost twelve, we were back to Crosby, Liverpool. From there, I went to university in Cardiff. My parents moved to Derby and I joined them there after university until I got married. We lived first in St Helens, then Morpeth, then Whaley Bridge then back to Morpeth. Moving house? Water off a ducks back!

LittlemoO Fri 25-Oct-19 10:43:09

LittlemoO I married a serviceman, RAF and we were moved
almost every 5 years. When my children were born, it became more difficult. My daughter was born in Cyprus, and
my son in the Outer Hebrides--Stornaway.
My eldest daughter went to school there, and has often told
me how terrible it was , she would stand in the playground by
herself, as she was "english" and they spoke Gaelic in front of her. We were posted to Honington in Suffolk, where they all
went to school, and then Benson in Oxfordshire.
Now they are adults, they often make me feel guilty, about the many times they had to leavetheir friends, and start new schools.

I didn`t want them to go to boarding school, and be
parted from them, there doesn`t seem any answer.

My grandchildren have been in the same town throughout their lives, gone to the same school, until leaving, it must have had quite an effect on her, determined not to have it happen to them

ayground by

FarNorth Fri 25-Oct-19 10:53:10

At 5&1/2, I went with my parents to look at a shop with house above.
I knew we were thinking of moving there.
There was a toy red double decker bus, on a desk in the house. I was disappointed when we moved in and it wasn't there.

I remember my brother (4) saying our previous home had been condemned, although we had no idea what that meant.

At 6&1/2 we were moving again and I went with them to a few shops they thought of buying, until they decided on one.

cheneslieges132 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:54:39

I don't expect any of you to believe this but my sister and I moved house at least 16 times before I was 12 years old - my parents were in "Service" - my mother was a Cook-Housekeeper and my Father was the Chauffeur/Gardener at the "Big Houses" all up and down the North West. I absolutely hated this - sometimes only being at one school for a matter of only weeks, then we were on the move again. I have no idea why my parents changed their jobs so often. I spent a very, very unhappy childhood and never was able to make friends - and one one occasion I was so unhappy at school (aged only 4 and a half) I needed the toilet, and didn't know where they were at this new school, so I walked home (over 2 miles) to go to the loo. There was also another time when I went "home" only to find that I no longer lived at THAT house ..... I had forgotten that we had moved yet again - as I said, I had a horrible childhood .....

HillyN Fri 25-Oct-19 10:55:02

My family moved house approximately every 3 years with my father's job. The first time I was only 2y so I don't remember it.
At 5 or 6y all I remember is that we couldn't take my pet tortoise because he was hibernating under the shed, so we left a note for the next people asking them to look after him.
Every time I was told what was happening and was expected to help pack up, especially my own toys etc.
The only time I viewed a house before we moved in was when I was 13y. It was the first time we stayed in the same town so it was easy to go and look. It was also the first time I had my own bedroom and I was very excited about that!

basicallygrace12 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:56:40

i remember when i was seven coming out of school and not only being told we had moved, but also into the home of my new step mother and step brothers, they had married that morning, not told anyone and i hadn't met her or boys before! It never really worked out although parents stayed married we never settled as a family!

FarNorth Fri 25-Oct-19 10:56:56

When my mother was 6 and her sister 5, they came with their parents from India to choose a boarding school in the UK.
She remembered being asked if she wanted to go to the school with the two thin ladies or the two fat ladies.
She chose the fat ladies, as she thought they were jolly but in fact they weren't very nice and the children were always hungry.

Anniebach Fri 25-Oct-19 10:58:36

I certainly knew we were moving house, world war 3 in my family, I was 12, my father had coal dust on the lungs, my parents decided to move from Aberfan to a country village 24 miles away , they waited until i sat the 11+. I had two younger
sisters who were so excited.

A 3 year old couldn’t have thrown more tantrums than I did, my poor parents. My Aberfan extended family wanted me to stay in Aberfan as did I.

An agreement was reached , school days with my parents, Friday evening to Monday morning and school holidays in Aberfan . My poor father spent every Friday evening and Monday morning putting me on the bus and meeting me off the bus , I realised years later I must have hurt my mother, my father born and grew up in Aberfan understood . I hated that country village.

Aepgirl Fri 25-Oct-19 11:02:53

This has never happened to me, but a few years ago my boss bought a new house, and the day before he moved in he asked me to take his elderly father to see the house, as he would also be moving - but he hadn’t been told. The elderly gentleman was perfectly OK mentally, so that was not the reason, but he became very confused shortly after the move - understandably.

Smurf52 Fri 25-Oct-19 11:09:04

I’d been sent to a convent in Devon at 9 and missed my family terribly. My grandmother sent me there as my parents were divorcing.
My father stayed in Germany and my mother moved near her mother in north London. I used to spend holidays with her and my younger siblings.
One day when term was about to begin we went to Waterloo station to tell the nuns I wasn’t going back.
Instead I was put on a plane to Germany to live with my father. At the airport I was met by a strange woman, my stepmother. I was made a ward of court and stayed there for 2 years.
I was asked if I wanted to continue living in Germany but I opted for living with my mother in England.
I knew nothing about plans made for me. A very unsettling time. I now can’t live in the same place for any length of time, surely a legacy of those days.

JonFlorrie Fri 25-Oct-19 11:10:13

I went to live in Aden as well merlotgran, twice! We were supposed to go to Bahrain the second time (but were posted to Aden instead) and my mother told me to remember the name by thinking of the noise a sheep made, and rain.
I think that as we moved every two years there was always talk about it at home. Moving house and also school became sort of run-of-the-mill so we got used to new surroundings quickly.

Neilspurgeon0 Fri 25-Oct-19 11:20:59

Well Gaunt47 you did better than me, I went back at lunchtime, to the old house, in floods of tears because no one was there, but the Pickfords van came back to get something and delivered me to my Mum in the new house.

Tweedle24 Fri 25-Oct-19 11:32:12

We moved fifteen times when I was growing up. That meant nine new schools. Merlotgran and ladymuck, that included a move to Egypt by.boat, the Empire Halledale, from Liverpool. I was always kept updated on those moves but, money was never discussed. I was allowed an opinion on meals but, that did not necessarily mean I got first choice.

Auntieflo Fri 25-Oct-19 11:40:24

Ninathenana, I lived all my young life in one house.
My parents had lived in London, then bought a house, with grandad coming too, in Hounslow.
Mum thought it was the end of the world, as she was used to the East End.
My parents were married for 9 years before I was born in 1942, and I stayed there until I married. We had our wedding reception in 1961 from home, after which I moved out.
I had often hoped to move when I was young, as it seemed an exciting thing to happen.

Mcrc Fri 25-Oct-19 12:01:07

I grew up in the same house and town and went to University of Michigan in same town. But lived in the dorms! Anyway, I was in the Air Force and married an AF officer. We moved 12 times and it was difficult but very rewarding. Hard on my sons but also great. Not horrible like some people feel. We learned soo much and it strengthened them and us as a family. I don't feel guilty about any of it. One has chosen the Air force and moves, and the other is a city engineer in South Carolina. My only regret is that we were never stationed in England! I would have loved that, but we'll get there to visit some day. Did my DNA and find out I am around 80 percent English ancestry. My husband who is Irish and French has decided I have Irish ancestry, lol. Whatever! I enjoy this website and learning from all of you.

GrandmaMoira Fri 25-Oct-19 12:04:19

We moved when I was 7 from a rented flat to a house my parents bought. I remember viewing houses. One was quite near the flat and the other around 15 miles away. We moved near the flat so I stayed at the same school with the same friends.
I sometimes think that if we had moved further away then I would have had a completely different life. I would have left my friends behind - I'm still friends with them. I wouldn't have met my husband and so would not have had the children I have.

ladymuck Fri 25-Oct-19 12:07:17

Nice to meet an American, Mcrc. We had American airmen based in Uxbridge. They had wonderful ice-cream..much nicer than ours...and chewing-gum!

Tigertooth Fri 25-Oct-19 12:22:14

My mum went with her mother and sister to stay for a holiday in the country no knowing they were to be evacuated. Her mum left them with ‘auntie” after 2 weeks - without any explanation. She never saw her mother again for 5 years.

Caro57 Fri 25-Oct-19 12:25:22

I must have been so lucky with my parents. My dad got a secondment when I was about 12. I remember mum asking how I would feel about moving and then deciding if I wanted to change school or start boarding at the school I was attending.........

Sussexborn Fri 25-Oct-19 12:36:43

My cousin only found out some years later that her Mum had died after marrying against my grandmother’s wishes. She told me recently that she thought she had left her because she had been naughty! Poor girl was never allowed a boyfriend never mind the opportunity to get married. My paternal grandma had an awful lot to answer for and finally succeeded in keeping my cousin with her until she died. My cousin lived with my Dad for a few years then took a residential job. I am the only one who keeps in touch my brothers had forgotten all about her. Took her over 25 years but my gran wrecked my parents marriage and the life of her younger sister whose neighbour proposed to her. My grandmother was on the next train to the Midlands and then my great aunt was no longer engaged. I know my gran had some younger step-siblings and would be interested now to know what made her so bitter and determined to wreck family lives.

Anthea1948 Fri 25-Oct-19 12:38:42

Yes, I totally understand what you're saying, Willow. My parents (and I) moved loads of time when I was little. I went to 5 different primary schools, some of them in different counties, although some only a few miles away from a previous one. I hated being the 'new girl' and leaving friends behind. We continued to move a lot in my teens, but my school was fairly central so I was able to have continuous schooling in those years. It's only just occurred to me that I still have quite a few friends from those years (around 55 years ago) and I think perhaps I have a drive to maintain friendships because of those I lost in my early years.
Nowadays I would only move if circumstances made it necessary; we lived in our last house for 30 years and only moved because I could no longer manage the stairs and a stair lift wasn't an option.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 25-Oct-19 12:48:23

My parents bought my childhood home a couple of months before I was born and didn't move from there until i was 30, so moving as a child was something I only heard others did.

If we had moved, I am certain we would have known all about it as my mother, especially, kept nothing, except Christmas and birthday presents secret.

From the age of seven I knew a lot of things that I would have been happier not knowing, first and foremost my parents financial difficulties and that they hardly ever saw eye to eye about how we should be brought up.

Back then I would have envied all of you, now I am not so sure.

vena11 Fri 25-Oct-19 12:48:34

I moved with my parents twice before I was 10 work was the reason , 40 miles away from my granny aunts and cousins then the second time 60 miles away, missed having no cousins to grow up with. Hated the second school . I always said I would never do that to my children but I did when they were 15 and 12 . I never say I would never do anything again because who knows what around the corner.

Rivernana Fri 25-Oct-19 12:51:44

I was born into and Army family and my elder sister and I moved four times between my birth and my 8th birthday. After that my father decided not to have the family move with him as it was upsetting our education. Each move was very unsettling and I found it hard to make friends when I started at the last school I was in before university because friendship groups had already been made. I do envy people who are still in contact with friends from primary school as the closest friendships can be forged there.

Grannycool52 Fri 25-Oct-19 13:30:58

We moved from Northern Ireland to England when I was 9, as my Dad was promoted within a multinational firm.
I was prepared for moving by my parents, but totally unprepared for the school changes.
I went from a class of 11 children who were individually nurtured to a class of 45. Although I was top of the class in my new school, the teacher called me a "Stupid Irish Brat" whenever I asked a question about anything it was done differently.
However, I enjoyed all the facilities of a big city, such as swimming pools, bowling alley and ice rink.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 25-Oct-19 13:41:29

Yes I was told we were moving I helped pack things and unpack , that was my first move when I was 17 so not a young child I thought so exciting , we had a house built, left a council house and had a house built, I actually love moving , have moved several times since 17 , I was reading the other day the average family moves 12 times in their lifetime , what with leaving home divorce etc, we hope to move in a couple of years it will be our last move

70Sue Fri 25-Oct-19 13:50:26

I was 14 in the 60’s, living in Staffordshire. One day I came home from school and was playing with our family dog and my dad said “ that will be the last time you will be playing with her” I didn’t understand until I came home from school the next day and there was no beautiful dog to meet me, she had been put down!!!!!!!! Two days later my parents myself and 2 sisters were piled in to a car and drove off to Kent to start a new life. Heartbroken doesn’t come close to how I felt and couldn’t wait to leave ‘home’ which I did 3yrs later.......

Sofa Fri 25-Oct-19 15:21:38

Our family moved within the same town when I was 12. Both myself and my sibling were both fully involved in the move and we went with our parents to view the house with the estate agent. It took quite a while to sell our existing house and I became impatient to move! So when the day to move finally came I remember being very excited. I loved the new house!

ladymuck Fri 25-Oct-19 16:24:45

grannycool52, I'm so sorry you had that experience when you moved to England. I married an Irishman and went to live in NI. After I had my first baby, I decided I didn't want my children brought up in that atmosphere of religious intolerance, and insisted that we move to England. I have often wondered if I made the right choice.

rivercross Fri 25-Oct-19 16:27:35

yes I was 6 when we moved to a much better house but I had to change schools.

My mother didn't like the new area though living near her sister.

We moved back to the original house and I went back to the school I left.

I was just told we were moving - no explanation

CBBL Fri 25-Oct-19 16:28:45

From the age of seven, I was moved from house to house so often that I went to 16 different schools (some of them for only a couple of weeks). I married at 17 and had two different homes, after which, my first husband and I separated. I don't recall ever being asked, told or consulted about any moves as a child. I hatred constantly being "the new girl" at school, and found it difficult to make friends - a trend that continued for many years.

Grannycool52 Fri 25-Oct-19 16:37:30

Ladymuck, thank you. It was just bad luck to get a horrible teacher.
In fact, I chose not to bring my children up in NI either, but settled eventually in the Irish Republic where they had a very happy gentle childhood.

Grannycool52 Fri 25-Oct-19 16:39:15

CBBL, that was really tough. 16 schools is more than anyone could cope with.

grapefruitpip Fri 25-Oct-19 16:41:01

I remember being in the doctor's surgery with my mother and he asked " When are you moving?" I was told to wait outside and pondered the word moving....moving what? Something heavy?

I have no recollection of the 2 moves which happened in quick succession. Unbelievable really.

freyja Fri 25-Oct-19 16:45:53

I was not told I was leaving school! It was the last day of the school year, I was told that day I had won the national art prize and was to be the first in assembly to collect my prize. Whilst there the headmaster shook my hand, gave me my prize, the bible and wished me luck. I only 14, because my 15th birthday was in the holidays. I thought nothing of it until I told my favourite teacher I would see her in September. Oh no she said you will not be coming back.

The next day (Saturday) I was sent to Boots the chemist to work where I stayed for 2 years. That same Summer I went as usual on holiday with my aunt and uncle, with whom I had lived for seven years only to be sent to a lodging house after a week because I had also left home. Nothing was ever discussed or mentioned as my life had changed from a child to adult over night.
Never forgot how it felt to be abandoned and alone. I never treated my children like that. I would always prepare them for anything that came their way. We travel throughout Europe, during the children's formative years so changing homes and schools was a major part of life but we always talked it through. We still discuss their life changing decisions, so no one is left in the dark.

Nanna58 Fri 25-Oct-19 18:24:30

I lived in the one house all my life until marrying ninathena na. Then , when my widowed mum moved to sheltered housing my daughter bought the house and my DGS was born there and slept in my old bedroom. They moved last year when he was 3, very odd now to see the house occupied by ‘strangers ‘ after more than 60yrs in one family.

M0nica Fri 25-Oct-19 19:29:49

Since between birth and my 21 birthday I moved house about 20 times, I cannot say it bothered me much. I am pretty sure my parents always told me in advance that we were moving and where to. I went to 10 schools as well.

In case anyone is puzzled by such a shifting childhood, it was because my father was in the army. There was a shortage of married quarters after the war and when my father was reposted we usuallstarted off in hirings, or even living in a hotel and gradually moved up the list towards getting a quarter, by which time my father was due to be reposted somewhere else.

It doesn't seem to have done me much harm. We stayed about 5 years each in our first three houses before staying in one for 15 years and we have lived in our current house for nearly 25 years.

SunnySusie Fri 25-Oct-19 19:44:25

We only moved once when I was a child and we were told all about it and visited the new house beforehand, although we only sat in the car and looked at it. The house was rented and the tenants didnt want to move, so they locked and barred all the doors and wouldnt allow access. My parents bought the house without seeing inside. We moved in the winter of 1962/63, the worst winter for 200years. I was 10 at the time and was given a shovel when we arrived to help dig the snow away so that the removal van could park near the front door. It was to be three months before we saw the garden which was buried under huge snowdrifts. A week after the move the entire family came down with the flu and we all lay wrapped in blankets in front of the fire because there was no central heating. Despite all these traumas my parents stayed in the house for sixty years until they passed away.

PamelaJ1 Fri 25-Oct-19 19:55:09

So many of us on this thread seem to have been to lots of schools and lived in many places.
I was definitely told when we were moving to Nigeria. I had just started school and I had to stand at the front of the class whilst we looked at a map of the world.
We flew and I distinctly remember my little sister sleeping on the floor between the seats. When I grew up I thought that I must have imagined it but we went to Duxford and my dad pointed out the type of plane we flew in.
Seats had a lot more leg room back in the day!
Next stop was HK but by sea. I bought a battery run dog in Aden. From a man in a boat.
Never bothered me either MOnica.
It makes me smile when I watch Wanted Down Under and the parents take their children’s wishes into account😂

M0nica Fri 25-Oct-19 21:41:30

I do not think my parents had their wishes taken into account when we moved either. Every few years, sometimes less, DF was told where he was being transferred to and that was that. Where he went, the family went with him.

Although my younger sister and I essentially lived with our grandparents for three years because my father was due to return from an overseas posting in April when I was due to take my A levels and DS her O levels 2 months later. We flew home for the summer holidays each year they were away, but that was all.

bluebirdwsm Fri 25-Oct-19 22:14:28

When my mother married my stepfather [I was 10] we continued to live with my Grandmother who I'd lived with for most of my life. We lived there for a year, I was happy there.

Then we moved not too far away, thankfully, to be a 'family' as my half sister was on the way.

That's when it all started to go seriously wrong for me. I had to let stepfather adopt me when I didn't like him much [he wasn't interested in me either then...he was later!] but wasn't told there was an option and that I could have said no. Mother was stressed to the eyeballs running a house and finances. Stepfather kept packing in jobs, mother then had PND, deep down knew she had married someone who was not making her happy and I was sent to an awful secondary school.

Things got worse and worse over the years and really affected my mental health. I wished so hard that I could go back to live with my grandmother who I adored, and where I was happy and loved. But other family were then living there so impossible even if it had been allowed.

It was the worst move of my life. The only saving grace was I could go to my grandmothers any time, and I did. She knew things were wrong at home but her door was always open.

Grammaretto Fri 25-Oct-19 22:37:45

We were told we were to move from New Zealand to England when I was 10. My dad had died and mother was never happy there so it was a big adventure though sad saying goodbye to all our friends and family. Waving to my gran for the last time.

6 great weeks on the ship but England was a major disappointment . We had such a build up from DM about it and instead it was freezing cold and lonely. We lived in a B&B until we found a flat to rent and it was a long time before we had our own house.

School was strange - 45 in the class. I suffered from chilblains. The children were nice apart from making fun of my accent and I made some pals.

I am now wondering if we really consulted our own DC when we moved them

NfkDumpling Sat 26-Oct-19 08:24:55

Until I was eight we lived in a rented, slightly bomb damaged terrace house next door to my GPs. My junior school too had 46 in the class and was awful. I wasn’t learning much! My parents were miles down the long council house waiting list so saved every penny they could for a deposit on their own home. Eventually they had enough for a small new build bungalow in a village ten miles away. Mum was so excited we went nearly every weekend to see how it was progressing so by the time we moved there I already had made friends. Living there was bliss for me.

Lilypops Sat 26-Oct-19 08:51:01

So many sad stories on this thread, what you must have all gone through, being moved, not told, separated from family, I only have admiration for the way you all coped and came through it ,

watermeadow Sat 26-Oct-19 20:20:07

I was another army child with many moves between countries, houses and schools. I found each move exciting but new schools were horrible, being always the child without any friends, talking differently, writing and doing arithmetic differently.
We were told about each impending move but not of our mother’s pregnancy nor where babies came from. Nor were we given any choice in what we wore or ate.
Grown ups and children lived in separate worlds then.

merlotgran Sat 26-Oct-19 20:38:16

Pamela Your toy dog might have come from one of these Bumboats in Steamer Point harbour.

There would often be a gully gully (magic) man producing live chickens out of his mouth or making things disappear before your very eyes. grin

PamelaJ1 Sun 27-Oct-19 16:41:15

Merlot- yes it did, I remember my dad winching it up.
The gully gully man came on board when we went through the Suez Canal.
When we got older we would get off the ship and travel by car to see the pyramids. That was in the days when you go go in them.

merlotgran Sun 27-Oct-19 17:01:56

I only have vague memories of going round the pyramids, Pamela, because I was about four when we went to Egypt. I was thrilled because my older brother kept falling off the pony he was given and mum and dad rode in a very sedate horse drawn carriage. I was able to show off my riding skills on a thankfully co-operative donkey!

Twelve schools in all. I don't think it did me any harm grin

sazz1 Sun 27-Oct-19 17:15:09

Moved so many times 15 different schools, flats houses rented rooms etc. Father never paid the rent so thrown out, lived with each parent, grandparent, fostered etc. DV at home, never knew which school or home I was returning to. Never told anything either it wasn't discussed infront of kids in those days.

PamelaJ1 Sun 27-Oct-19 20:10:33

I only went to 6 proper schools but if you count the ones we went to whilst on leave then I can add another 3 or 4. We used to travel back and forth by ship. This was before they were called cruises!
I don’t know how much school I missed but judging by my GCE results it must have been a lot😟

Barmeyoldbat Sun 27-Oct-19 20:25:40

Mt dad was in the RAF and we moved every two and half years. After 2 years we, as a family, would start discussing where in the country or world we would like to go and live. We would have maps out and dad would tell us all about the area. This where I found a love of geography and maps..

When it came to the move dad would go first to find us somewhere to live and then mum and four kids would follow. It must have been tough on my mum not knowing what she was moving into but we all seemed happy.

seadragon Mon 28-Oct-19 12:41:34

We moved from Orkney to my first NHS professional post in Norfolk when our children were 11 years old and 13. I had been away training in Bristol in the preceding years. We sat round the table and explained it all to them. Our daughter - at 13 - has no recollection of the discussion. I must try and remember to ask our son whether he does. It proved a good move for our daughter who still has a close friend from our time in Norfolk. It was less good for our son. My dad was in the Royal Navy. Consequently I moved school 7 times altogether with the most miserable time spent in an Aberdeen school where I was bullied by the pupils, led by the teacher with disastrous consequences for my end of term results. Fortunately I moved from there to a tiny village school in Somerset where I passed the 11 plus with top marks (according to the teacher, anyway), moved back to a secondary school in Aberdeen where I was a year younger than my class mates through all the toing and froing over the border. Prior to that, I was devastated to leave Lossiemouth for the second time and lay on the floor of the car sobbing. In general, I feel it meant I make and keep friends easily and am often amazed when I bring a group together and some take an instant dislike to others when I like them all!!

grapefruitpip Mon 28-Oct-19 13:21:36

So you grew up in Orkney?

bluejay29 Sat 02-Nov-19 13:15:53

Our family immigrated to New Zealand when I was 7. We had relatives over there already. We were living in a little flat in London with a yard and one day my mum sat me down at our kitchen table and showed me a colour brochure of a beautiful place by the sea. We went on a passenger ship which took 5 weeks and stopped at some lovely places on the way. We moved 5 times when we were there as my parents only rented but we were always in the same area by the sea. We came back to London 5 years later and then a good many years later me and my daughter moved to Eastbourne because I still love the sea. This is my 15th address now and I went to 6 different schools in all. I also can't settle in a house for too long.

grapefruitpip Sat 02-Nov-19 19:50:20

What an interesting tale Blue jay. That unsettled feeling never leaves you.

Willow500 Sat 02-Nov-19 20:30:56

70Sue what a dreadful thing to do to your poor dog - I'm not surprised you were heartbroken!

There are some very sad memories in some of these stories and a lot of families who seemed to be almost nomadic the amount of moves which were made!

watermeadow Sun 03-Nov-19 20:02:27

My parents moved when my brothers were half-way through their A levels and I was about to take GCEs. We went from big city single-sex grammar schools to a tiny rural mixed grammar. Different exam board and syllabuses. It was a terrible time to move us.
When my youngest daughter was 16 and had just finished GCSEs I had to move a long distance and daughter was distraught. She’d lived in the same house all her life and hated me for uprooting her. It totally mucked up her education.
Parents don’t usually choose to massively upset their children.