I know I am always on this site with some tale of woe - so apologies for that.
Over the last few weeks OH has once again developed paranoia. No-one seems to know if it is part of the PD or the effect of one or more of the drugs being used to treat this illness. It is a problem that has recurred many times over the last few years, but we have always seen an improvement with drug changes.
He started to have serious paranoid delusions again a few weeks ago - screaming for help, calling the police from the nursing home as he was convinced he was going to be killed - but this was intermittent....very bad when it was happening but lucid and happier moments in between.
One of his drugs was halved to try and alleviate this problem, but shortly afterwards he became totally locked in the delusion that there is a plot to kill him - he talks about absolutely nothing else and is in a state of complete terror every waking moment - it is pitiful to behold. This has been going on for two weeks now.
The PD nurse seems to be mainly in charge of dealing with this and she advises the GP - her plan is to reduce another of his drugs, but it makes no sense to me to be changing another one - it will be impossible to make rational decisions about which is the best course of action if more than one route is being experimented with at a time.
But I have said this to her - well, by email, because she is so hard to get hold of - and part of the problem is that she is talking to the staff at the NH and basing her decisions on that, when in fact the staff are not fully aware of the severity of the problem because they do not cotton on to the back story of what he says. Some of the time they get it when it is very upfront; but there are times when he will say things that they just think are a bit dotty, but are in fact of much more significance - for example he will say "Where shall I sit for the process?" and they just dismiss this with a smile - but we know that he is asking when the slaughter process will begin - he believes he is going to be cut up and put down the sluice and calls this being "processed."
I did not go and see him today - I just could not face it. My DD went and was deduced to tears. If he was demented and completely out of it, that would be dreadful, but I think I might be able to begin to try and deal with that - I just cannot stand the sight of him in a state of terror every waking moment - it is so dreadful that he should be suffering in this way and no-one seems to be able to help him.
Things you find stressful that other people don't notice.
Being moved along by someone who "wants your place".
How do you acknowledge Easter.