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Do you have housekeeping money?

(85 Posts)
millymouge Fri 06-Mar-20 17:32:27

Talking with some friends the other evening we were saying how our mothers used to have a set housekeeping amount. This was often given out by the man of the household and woe betide if you didn’t manage it to see you through the week. I can remember my FIL being really angry with MIL because she said he wasn’t giving her enough, he had no idea of the cost of anything. Several friends said that they thought that the way their mothers managed was marvellous. In many cases the man had his beer and cigarette money and the poor mum had nothing to fall back on. We all said we were sensible with our money but no one seemed to have a set amount handed out by their partner. How things have changed.

maddyone Fri 06-Mar-20 17:36:45

No, I don’t have, not ever have had housekeeping money. Most of our marriage I have worked, and our salaries have always gone into a joint account. When I didn’t work outside the home I had very small children and the same access to the joint account.

Daisymae Fri 06-Mar-20 17:36:55

My mum was sent to the factory gates to catch my grandad as he came out on Friday night. He would be straight up the pub if she didn't get the housekeeping there would be nothing left by the time he got home. That must be 100 years ago, literally!

Squiffy Fri 06-Mar-20 17:37:46

I remember, years ago, watching the series ‘Sam’ and the men (pitmen) would hand over their wages to the wives and the wives would give them a few coppers as their ‘spends’. I don’t think the wives had any ‘spends’! - well, not officially! wink

jura2 Fri 06-Mar-20 17:38:21

nope, never have.

Pittcity Fri 06-Mar-20 17:47:43

I have to give DH "pocket money" as he has no idea how to budget.

3dognight Fri 06-Mar-20 17:54:21

Well I do have old fashioned housekeeping money.
My husband puts a hundred quid in my purse on a Friday , it's not really enough to feed us, three huge dogs, buy our wine and cider, etc....but somehow we do manage. We eat three excellent meals a day, cooked from scratch, the dogs are in superb condition, and we get a glass of wine or cider with our evening meal. We cannot afford to go out, or eat out, and sometimes, well almost always, I only have a tenner left on a Monday morning. Having a set amount of money in cash concentrates the mind and nothing is wasted.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 06-Mar-20 17:57:32

No don’t have housekeeping money,

lemongrove Fri 06-Mar-20 17:59:28

No, the same as maddyone says.
Our parents generation was different, although some men handed over their pay packets to their wives and got their pocket money back, so that she dealt with all the rent/rates groceries etc.Many more didn’t, and a few drank away most of it.Hard times.☹️

harrigran Fri 06-Mar-20 18:08:10

Yes DH has given me an allowance for all of our married life. I do not have any income of my own so without it I would be destitute.

Maggiemaybe Fri 06-Mar-20 18:10:21

Good grief, no. We both have access to the joint account and always have had. I don't see how it would work in today's society anyway. I only use cash for charity collections and tips now that we can even pay contactless on the bus.

My dad used to hand over his pay packet every Friday as he walked through the door, lemongrove, and get his "pocket money" doled out to him. He was a miner, and I think that was the usual routine in the pits. It was entirely up to my mother what she did with the rest.

SalsaQueen Fri 06-Mar-20 18:14:27

I've never had housekeeping money (I'm 60, been married almost 40yrs). We've got a joint bank account, so both wages go into it. I do the shopping and have set up all the DirectDebits I get cash out when I need it - so does he, occasionally.

My mum had housekeeping money but didn't have a bank account.

J52 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:25:52

No. We have a joint account, but I have always had my own account that my own salary went into.

Oldwoman70 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:33:32

Always had a joint bank account - even if there wasn't much in it!

Some years ago I worked with a woman (in her 20s) whose husband would give her a set amount every morning with which to buy something for the evening meal and any household items needed - if anything was left over she could use it to buy herself lunch! It got to the point that the rest of us in the office would take it in turns to "accidentally" buy too much lunch and share it with her. Not a situation I could have lived with.

Gaunt47 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:34:39

My dear old Mum had to keep a notebook in which to note all household expenditure, then Dad would write down what he'd spent and at the end of the week he added it up. In the early 50s Mum got fed up with this and started taking part time jobs for pin money. She worked her way up to a full time career and divorced my Dad!

Callistemon Fri 06-Mar-20 18:35:59

No.
However, years ago before everyone had bank accounts, the Forces used to make an 'allotment' out of servicemen's pay for the wives, which was in the form of a Post Office book, like the old Child Benefit book.
It ensured that there was a steady weekly amount for the wives and children if the serviceman was overseas.

We had a joint account but not everyone did
I also had my own!

FlexibleFriend Fri 06-Mar-20 18:39:21

I never have, we had our salaries paid into a joint account and did the shopping together. These days all the money is mine.
I think my dad handed over pretty much everything, just keeping a bit for petrol and tobacco etc. I think mum held the purse strings.

GracesGranMK3 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:46:36

It's really all down to the changes toward equality. If you think that it wasn't until 1975 and the Sex Discrimination Act that a British woman could open a bank account in her own name it's easy to see why now, when both partners earn, have their own bank account and work out how they split the bills between them we have moved on to happier times.

Purplepixie Fri 06-Mar-20 18:57:26

My mam was always in charge of all the finances when I grew up. My dad always handed her his unopened pay packet. He was given his pocket money. Both my DH and myself have our own wages and the bills are paid between us. Thank goodness those days are gone.

Calendargirl Fri 06-Mar-20 19:07:25

GGMK3

Your post confused me. I opened a current account in my own name when I started work in 1969. Do you mean married women couldn’t until 1975?

Witzend Fri 06-Mar-20 19:09:40

No, our money has always been joint.
My own parents were the same.
However my mother (b. 1918) had a good friend the same age, who was always given her housekeeping money in cash, never paid a bill, never even wrote a cheque, and was consequently rather thrown in the deep end after her husband died.

Funny thing was, she’d had a good, responsible job before marriage/children, so it’s not as if she wasn’t capable. I don’t think her husband was at all a control freak type, either.

My mother could never understand the mentality at all.

Shrub Fri 06-Mar-20 19:10:25

I didn’t realise how modern my parents were! They had a joint account and my mother had her own cheque book. My husband and I did the same.

Greyduster Fri 06-Mar-20 19:13:02

That brings back memories Callistemon! I’d forgotten about that.

Witzend Fri 06-Mar-20 19:15:50

BTW I had my own current a/c from 1967 until just after I got married several years later.
When I informed the bank of my change of name, they insisted on knowing my husband’s full name, and his occupation.

I was sufficiently annoyed to close the account, and have myself added to dh’s a/c, with a different bank. We’ve had a joint a/c ever since.

threexnanny Fri 06-Mar-20 19:16:09

I was wondering too CALENDARGIRL. I'm certain I had one in 1971/2.

Lovetopaint037 Fri 06-Mar-20 19:22:03

Yes, I have housekeeping money which comes out of our joint account. This way I can pay with cash and keep track of what I spend. I can have more if I need it and I keep a reserve to draw upon in a separate place in my bag and a card as well but this method, for us, suits us the best. I am 78 so perhaps I have an established method which suits.

MrsEggy Fri 06-Mar-20 19:22:19

I had to have a bank account when I started work in 1953 (I was 16) as we were paid by cheque by the City Council.

GrannySomerset Fri 06-Mar-20 19:27:33

When we were first married (1962) and saving hard for a deposit on a house we had a joint account but DH drew out £5 in new 10/- notes which had to do for the week. It was quite a struggle but we had saved the deposit on a new house in less than a year and celebrated our first wedding anniversary sitting on the carpet in the new house and eating a doughnut each from Betty’s.

For many years we have each had our own account and paid into the joint (housekeeping) account in proportion to what we were earning, and this pattern persists. We never argue about money although we have very different attitudes. It must be awful to disagree about something so important.

Gaunt47 Fri 06-Mar-20 19:29:06

To open her own bank account in the good old days, a woman needed to be 'recommended' by a man. So a married woman needed what amounted to the permission of her husband. For a young woman it would be her father. It was in my case I remember.

GracesGranMK3 Fri 06-Mar-20 19:35:33

I don't know how you had one Calendargirl but I had one too but it had to be countersigned when I opened it. I think that was done by my father. Maybe some banks allowed it before they had to in law.

GagaJo Fri 06-Mar-20 19:48:22

No, never. I've always earned my own money. When I got married, we briefly had a joint account, but he was such an idiot with money, I quickly learned my lesson and we got separate accounts. He'd run up debts, but in his name only.

We used to go halves on bills and the mortgage.

sodapop Fri 06-Mar-20 20:30:45

My mother did all the admin for my father's business and was responsible for household finances. I think in those days women had more control than we imagine.
We have a joint account and our own accounts as well. My husband does all the shopping and cooking so I don't need a housekeeping allowance.

kittylester Fri 06-Mar-20 20:40:10

I've never had housekeeping money and haven't worked outside the home since we got married. I have access to all of the bank accounts. We are a team and both work in the best interests of our team.

SirChenjin Fri 06-Mar-20 20:54:33

No, absolutely not! We both work and our salaries go into a joint account that we both access. I would hate to rely on another adult for money as my granny (and my mum to a lesser extent) did.

merlotgran Fri 06-Mar-20 21:15:47

Since DH had a stroke in 2010 I have all the money. grin

If he needs anything he asks me. Oh, the power grin

Seriously though. We've always shared everything. My mother had a housekeeping allowance because that's what they did in the fifties. Once we were all at school she went back to teaching music. I presume she had some money of her own then but I never asked.

Chewbacca Fri 06-Mar-20 21:55:34

My mother was given housekeeping money, by my father, every Friday night and she would separate out money for rent, milk bill, insurance etc, and whatever was left over was to feed us all for the week. There was never enough. On the otherhand, my father smoked and drank, ran a car and spent the majority of his wages on himself. It was so miserable, and caused so many arguments between them, that I knew from a very young age I would never accept that. As soon as I started work in 1970, I opened my own bank account and kept that separate throughout my marriage.

Callistemon Fri 06-Mar-20 21:59:43

Gracesgran I'm sure I had a bank account from about the mid sixties. I was single then. My salary was paid into it, we didn't get pay packets.

janeainsworth Fri 06-Mar-20 22:11:21

Gracesgran I too had my own bank account from when I started at university in 1967. I don’t remember my father or anyone else having anything to do with it.

GracesGranMK3 Fri 06-Mar-20 22:19:49

I'm not sure what you want me to say janeainsworth. I mentioned the date on which, by law, all banks had to offer women a bank account in their own name. I don't mean to be rude but, interesting though it is to know you had one prior to that date I have no idea why it is relevant to my original comment.

Bathsheba Fri 06-Mar-20 22:30:58

That may be so GracesGran, but I'm fairly sure that many banks pre-empted the law. I, and all my working friends, had our own bank accounts in our own names in the mid-late 60's, without any need to have them countersigned.

SueDonim Fri 06-Mar-20 22:35:49

As Callistemon mentioned, I had a Royal Navy Allotment book when we first married. The Navy insisted upon it, it wasn’t optional. That was my ‘housekeeping’ money in that I bought our food and paid the milk and newspaper bills out of it and I’d had some left over from my £10pw in 1972!

We have always had a joint account, though, so I never had to manage on my allotment. If I needed more money, I’d get it out of the bank. Money is one thing we have never argued about over the years.

My father used to hand over his entire pay packet to my mum and she would give him his pocket money. She was better with money and paid all the bills anyway, so it made sense.

Callistemon Fri 06-Mar-20 22:40:21

I suppose what janea said is relevant because you had said in your original post that women couldn't open a bank account in their own name until 1975, Gracesgran, but some of us remembered that we did.

However, when applying for a mortgage later on after I was married, my salary could not be considered.

GracesGranMK3 Fri 06-Mar-20 22:42:13

Fine Bathsheba. I think the law brought about societal change. If you don't, why not just say so?

Your friends (how many I wonder) may have had there own bank account but what about older women and those in cash paid jobs? I really doubt you were anything other than a small proportion of all the women in the country. Your sample is far too small to convince me otherwise.

This is not about you or me but about changes in society.

Callistemon Fri 06-Mar-20 22:45:43

I remember having to go to the Post Office to 'draw the allotment' and the woman there was extremely rude and treated us as if she was giving us her own money when in fact it was part of our husband's salary, SueDonim.
I remember DH saying it was necessary because some would not make any arrangements for their wives to receive any money at all when they were away.

Bathsheba Fri 06-Mar-20 22:51:57

GG where on earth in my post does it indicate that I have an opinion one way or another on whether the law brought about societal change? confused. I was merely commenting, as have several others, that I and many I knew were able to open a bank account in our own names way before any law was in place to allow this. Keep your knickers on!

pensionpat Fri 06-Mar-20 22:58:37

To add my two pennorth, I worked in a bank from 1967 and when a woman got married she produced her marriage certificate and we changed the name on the account to her married name and we took a new specimen signature.

GracesGranMK3 Fri 06-Mar-20 23:26:22

I hear what you say Bathsheba but all I did was to note the fact that the law was passed on that date. Each of you addressed me to say you had bank accounts before that date. That is relevant to you but almost irrelevant to the fact that the law being changed meant a societal change.

My knickers are firmly in place, thank you and there really is no need to make personal attacks. If you believe that prior to the change of law everyone was happily getting bank accounts then say so. Otherwise, your comments, interesting though they may be to you and others who already have bank accounts are not relevant to the changes that came, after the law was passed.

If you see it differently, leave the personal comment out and put your argument forward. It would be interesting to hear it.

GracesGranMK3 Fri 06-Mar-20 23:29:51

Another example of the lack of equality in banking and money pensionpat and an interesting one. Could the woman keep her account in her "maiden" name then, if she chose to?

Callistemon Fri 06-Mar-20 23:35:08

I remember that this was way before BACS, but we were required to have a bank or building society account because we were paid by cheque which we then paid into our accounts, and we had cheque books.
It was the mid-sixties.
I kept one of my accounts and still have it now.

SueDonim Fri 06-Mar-20 23:42:12

She was a cheeky so-and-so, Callistemon! shock I don’t recall having any trouble myself, thank goodness. The allotment was a sensible thing to have in place in those pre-internet banking days. My Dh, before I knew him, had been away for 18 months at one point. Imagine men having to send a tenner home from every port they visited! grin

Bathsheba Fri 06-Mar-20 23:51:00

GG I have no idea whether everyone prior to the change of law was ‘happily getting bank accounts’ - how could I? I do know, however that I and many others were.
But I’m now getting rather bored with this petty pickiness, so I’m off to bed moonsmile

Eloethan Sat 07-Mar-20 00:26:52

Although for most of our working lives, and now that we are retired, my husband brings in far more money than I do, we have always had joint current and savings accounts, even before we were married. On the whole, this works quite well because I don't have extravagant tastes and would not spend a significant amount of money without discussing it with my husband first. In theory this applies to him also although, in practice, whatever the outcome of the "discussion" - he tends to go ahead anyway! To be fair, I am more pessimistic and cautious than he is and the house alterations which we have made, and which were probably well worth doing, I would have been too indecisive to go ahead with, ultimately to the detriment of our home.

The idea of being allocated a set amount of "housekeeping money" does not appeal to me at all. Although it could result in a very generous allowance, it seems to me that it also takes control away from one party, and could result in the person bringing in the most money also allocating themselves a much greater proportion of the income. Personally, I would find that upsetting though I can see some people might feel quite comfortable with that arrangement.

ElaineI Sat 07-Mar-20 00:45:09

Yes but I have to supplement it. DH has no idea of household items including food increasing in price. Never had a joint account as neither of us could mentally cope with it. DH knows to the penny what he has in account and what he has spent but I am not so meticulous. I know what is there and how much I have but it would be too stressful to immediately note each loaf of bread/bottle of wine! He is so meticulous about everything that when he cooks if the recipe says 15 minutes then it is 15 minutes regardless of if it is actually cooked or not hence why 2 of us could not stomach hard tagliatelle tonight and the baby spat it out after trying to chew it for 10 minutes but he managed to eat it all but considered cooking it for longer next time! There will not be a next time!!!!

GracesGranMK3 Sat 07-Mar-20 08:43:17

If you get "bored" with your "petty pickiness" bathsheba why do it?

Next time you make a personal attack I will simply report you. There really is no need for such comments.

Franbern Sat 07-Mar-20 08:59:56

When we married (1964), I was earning more than my hubbie. However, only his salary was accepted by bldg societies for mortgage purposes. Thank Goodness, the old LCC had started a scheme of giving 100% mortgages based, totally, on the valuation of the property -and this is what enabled us to step onto the housing ladder.
Back then both our salaries were paid into a join account, and monies paid out as necessary.
Sometimes in the 70's, I did set up a bank account in my own name, where I kept a small amount of money -for emergencies!!
I can remember in the late 1960's a divorced female friend of ours (a teacher), having to ask my husband to sign for her to get HP for some furniture - so daft as she earned more, and had more job security, than my hubbie!!! But HP was no permitted without a male guarantor.

janeainsworth Sat 07-Mar-20 09:25:40

No-one has personally attacked you, GG.
Neither I, nor Bathsheba, nor the others who have simply pointed out that they had their own bank accounts in the 60’s, after you asserted that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts till 1975.

dragonfly46 Sat 07-Mar-20 09:29:21

Never had it. We are the same as Mr & Mrs Kitty

Callistemon Sat 07-Mar-20 09:33:24

Eloethan I think a set amount worked when we were first married because we were saving for the deposit for a house into a joint building society account, even though they only considered DH'S salary for the amount of the loan.

Bathsheba Sat 07-Mar-20 10:02:04

Thank you janeainsworth. This has really got beyond ridiculous now. Reporting me? What on earth for? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

gillybob Sat 07-Mar-20 10:04:10

When my DH’s father died his mother didn’t have a single thing in her name. No access to a bank account either . My husband became the sole heir (for a few days) until he signed it all over to his poor mum. Long story involving greed, greed and more greed.

gillybob Sat 07-Mar-20 10:08:08

Meant to add that DH and I have always had a joint account, although he has very little to do with money these days.

GracesGranMK3 Sat 07-Mar-20 10:09:02

No-one has personally attacked you, GG. Neither I, nor Bathsheba, nor the others who have simply pointed out that they had their own bank accounts in the 60’s, after you asserted that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts till 1975.

I do wonder how carefully you read things janeainsworth and perhaps therein lies the challenge. I did not assert that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts till 1975 although you are now choosing to interpret it that way. I simply said that was when the law changed and women could not be stopped from having a bank account in their own name. A simple, unarguable fact.

Maybe your standards are different to mine but there has been rude directly personal comment. I accept that there are people who think being rude in a personal way is okay because you can't see the person you are attacking but I don't think those are GN's rules, are they?

timetogo2016 Sat 07-Mar-20 10:13:27

No never have.
I buy the food etc and dh pays the bills it works well for us.
My mother had housekeeping and I don`t remember my father refusing her if she needed a little extra.

jura2 Sat 07-Mar-20 10:16:07

gillybob- reminds me of my dear and wonderful neighbour in the UK in our second house. She did not know how much her husband earned, about his pensions, didn't have a check book and had never seen any paperwork/accounts. She had become very good at her own clever accounting with the housekeeping money- saying she needed extra to buy clothes for the kids, then buy them from Corah's seconds shop instead of M&S so she could keep the difference for herself.
He would do all the food shopping on Saturday morning- on his own- and she had to cook for the week with what HE bought- same menu every week. Wednesday evening was steak night- for him only of course- sausages for her and the kids. It used to make me scream, but she seemed happy with it- and found it quite normal.

And both came from very middle-class backgrounds- he a manager in a textile factory. When he died very quickly and unexpectedly- she knew absolutely nothing- had never written cheque, etc. Fortunately they had a friend who was a solicitor and who helped her with everything.

GracesGranMK3 Sat 07-Mar-20 10:20:49

I've a feeling that would come under the coercive control laws now Jura.

Callistemon Sat 07-Mar-20 10:22:51

Being pedantic here, and have read the post twice which stated that:

it wasn't until 1975 and the Sex Discrimination Act that a British woman could open a bank account in her own name

Then some of us pointed out, very politely, that we did in fact hold bank accounts in our own names way before then.
I didn't require a counter signature from a male to open a current account and a savings account.
I also had car insurance in my own name, no male named on the insurance as my father didn't drive.

I don't think the law prevented these things, rather it was that the 1975 Act stated that it was illegal for these rights not to be offered.

gillybob Sat 07-Mar-20 10:28:54

Sounds very similar to the way my DH’s parents operated jura2 . He called the shots. Full stop. They lived in real poverty with very few home comforts at all . Coal fire, no telephone, twin tub washing machine, black and white TV, with a set top aerial so it was permanently snowing........Everything in the house was ancient. Is used to feel so sorry for his mum . When he died we did manage to get her a few bits like a microwave/grill (her most favourite thing ever) and a colour TV with a proper aerial.

oldgimmer1 Sat 07-Mar-20 10:32:00

Found this quote:

Women were seen as a high-risk investment by banks als little as just 50 years ago. It wasn’t until 1975 that women could open a bank account in their own name.

Single women still couldn't apply for a loan or credit card in their own name without a signature from their father, even if they earned more, as recently as the mid-Seventies."

That's a quote taken from the Telegraph, by the way. smile.

janeainsworth Sat 07-Mar-20 10:34:22

Thank you Callistemon you’ve put it very well.

Fiachna50 Sat 07-Mar-20 10:34:25

No, I don't have housekeeping money.

GracesGranMK3 Sat 07-Mar-20 10:43:03

I don't think the law prevented these things, rather it was that the 1975 Act stated that it was illegal for these rights not to be offered.

I think that is what I have just pointed out Calistamon so we agree. However, those who did have bank accounts were still small in number - unless I am wrong in this belief and you have statistics to show differently - and many women were still "controlled" because the law allowed that to happen prior to the 1975 act.

Chewbacca Sat 07-Mar-20 10:43:13

You summed that up perfectly Callistemon.

glammanana Sat 07-Mar-20 11:12:52

I have had my bank account since I got my first proper job in 1969 and I was paid monthly which was not the norm in those days,but it taught me how to budget my money well.
My lovely husband who is no longer with us never gave me house keeping monies we both had our own accounts always and drew out what we needed as and when,I did keep a separate account for child benefit when it became payable for the children and used that for their clothes and shoes when needed to buy them.If ever my husband received bonus's from work he always gave me half to buy myself treats or put towards my annual holiday with my DD.

Wheniwasyourage Sat 07-Mar-20 11:40:40

We've always had joint accounts and paid for everything out of them, so no, I've never had housekeeping money given to me. When I stopped work to have the DC, I found it a bit difficult to get over the feeling that all the money coming in, and to which I always had full access, was earned by DH, particularly if I wanted to buy him a birthday or Christmas present.

When we got married in 1974 I was working and DH was still a student, but we couldn't get a mortgage in my name even though I was earning enough to pay for it, just because I was a woman.

Bathsheba Sat 07-Mar-20 16:01:13

Yes, perfectly summed up callistemon. I do like explanations to be clear and your understanding of the issue precisely matches my own.

Hetty58 Sat 07-Mar-20 16:37:53

No, always a joint account and own account - whether working or not. I did have a (sort of) budget, though, and an allowance from my father.

Urmstongran Sat 07-Mar-20 16:49:30

I opened my Nat West Bank account in November 1971. I have never changed banks.

We do operate on a ‘housekeeping’ amount each week (which is a generous £250 a week for two). It helps us budget effectively. We eat out, buy alcohol on it and if we want more out then that’s fine - but a certain amount helps us to be aware and in control.

kittylester Sat 07-Mar-20 19:46:12

I had a bank account in 1965! Just saying!

Dh used to say that he earned the money and I spent it! That was true in that he earned the money and I was in charge of where it went.

Barmeyoldbat Sat 07-Mar-20 19:56:57

My ex husband use to give a set amount each week from his pay packet to buy everything I needed and that included things like a washing a machine which I had to save up bit by bit. When we divorced we were in rented accommodation and he told me I could take everything that was mine, that I had bought. I took everything, even the light bulbs and left him with his record player and records. Husband no.2 is different, I have my own income and bank account, he has his which is a joint account that I never use. Life is much more relaxed this way.

Esther1 Sat 07-Mar-20 20:09:53

My DH is hopeless with money and has got so vague now I have gently taken over all the finances. He is still earning and puts a set amount every month into a bank account that is only in my name rather than our joint one. I actually earn more than him now and pay for all the luxuries and holidays - I think he thinks I budget for all this from my ‘housekeeping’. It keeps him happy.

Granny23 Sat 07-Mar-20 20:44:52

Back in my parents day it was accepted that in low waged households the man handed over his paypacket unopened, got his pocket money (maybe 10/-) and his poor wife had to stretch what was left to cover the food shopping and other bills.

Meanwhile, in higher income households, the man managed the bills and finances giving his wife a housekeeping allowance and perhaps a small personal allowance, for clothes, hairdressing etc.

Rainwashed Sat 07-Mar-20 21:01:11

My Dad too, handed over his unopened pay packet every week.I don’t know if he even had pocket money.

paddyanne Sat 07-Mar-20 21:29:12

I move a set amount into my personal acount every month .I use it for housekeeping small household items,cutrtains ,bedding etc and all the present buying birthdays and christmas.
This month I have 5 birthdays a wedding anniversary and mothers day ,next month easter and 3 birthdays ,If I stick to my monthly budget I'm happy ,sometimes I need to top it up but as its my business acount I'm paying myself .I wouldn't like to have to ask for cash .OH pays all the household expenses and always has.We have quite a 1950's type marriage ,its suits us both

dragonfly46 Sat 07-Mar-20 21:47:14

We are just the same kitty.

M0nica Sat 07-Mar-20 21:58:03

I opened a bank account in 1961, without any man being involved. My aunt recommended me to the bank and came with me when I opened it.

In 1968, when I married, I just changed name and details. I do not remember being asked any questions about DH. What is more, when we moved into a flat and we needed an overdraft to pay for the living room carpet. I approached my bank for an overdraft on my account and got it. DH again not involved.

I have always been the financial manager in our household so there was no question of being given housekeeping. What is more neither did mother get given housekeeping moneyhad my mother. My parents had a joint account and my mother held the only cheque book and took out money as and when she needed it, even when she wasn't working herself. My parents in law had a similar system,