Night Owls: Part Two-whit, Two-woo

MistyMooCake would you like to tell us the story of your name please?

I'm phoning the GP tomorrow to discuss my various ailments. Fortunately she's lovely as I'm not looking to to it.

Hello Owls ?
I apologise too (sorry lemsip) - but I need to finish my joke. Mine is allowed because it's topical

Q: What's the most common owl in the British Isles?

A: The Teet Owl

(Geddit? Tea towel! - I got that one from Come Dine With Me)

Do you know how Donald Trump made America Great Again ?
He banned the supply of shredded cheese to all the shops.

Apologies in advance, couldn’t resist...

Hi all. Went to bed early and awake now keep getting heart burn great all day then evening comes and there it is

Mollygo Too true, no telling what pops into your mind awake or asleep.
Hoping for a better sleep tonight, had weird dreams last night.
Going to read for a bit now.
Best wishes everyone

No Lemsip I’m sure it isn’t really, but when you can’t sleep, there’s no telling what pops into your mind-and before you know it, it’s on the thread!??

Thank you lemsip
No, no it isn't becoming a joke thread (in any sense, I hope!)

is this thread developing into a joke thread.? hope not.

your garden sounds amazing Fanny. It so nice to be able to walk out into a spacious garden, I always appreciate being able to do this. weather being dry of course!

Ouch! Hope your leave of us is very temporary. You make me smile. Thanks for that.

Hi Rufus! What's on the menu today
Humble pie. Hold the soup!
Fanny I'm terribly sorry I've upset you! I thought we were engaged in an intelligent bantering session which I welcome for helping to churn the grey cells, but I realise this is not for everyone. Sorry!
Now I think it's time for me to abandon my perch on yonder bough.
I'm OK thank you despite our current heatwave and I hope you are keeping well wherever you are living.
As a fond farewell I'd like to leave you with this little parable which you've all seen before!

Once upon a time there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him up and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.
The moral of the story:
1. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

Good Health
OoRoo

Hi Rufus! What's on the menu today?

What is the most common owl in the British isles?'

Sorry! I have to pounce again! You're dropping your "aitches", just like Eliza D. Not a good recommendation for your A-Level teacher!
The most common howl these days, I'm glad to say would be coming from Liverpool FC supporters!
Nice try!
Btw; who's pinched our special Smileys?

Why are you being so horrid Rufus?
You sound very bitter indeed.
What's wrong with how I write?
And why are you having a pop at my name?
And what do you mean - 'one day I'll have everything'?
Are you feeling ok?

I notice that Rufus hasn't tried to guess - I do wonder sometimes if he actually reads the comments.
It seems unanimous that Joke A was superior. More pleaseRufus - I won't Report you
Fanny I also do wonder sometimes if you're trying to be provocative. Of course I read the comments and some of them end up in my little black book.
Not sure what I'm supposed to be guessing.
Your Eng. lit. teacher could have been Ernie Wise as you write like what he wrote!
As for your name, I can't get past Fanny Cradock famous for her "Uppers and Downers", but now deceased!
She was the subject of amusing cameos by the likes of Benny Hill and the two Ronnies!
Perhaps your day will come and you'll have everything!
Cheers

Ok, here's mine:
Q: 'What is the most common owl in the British isles?'

Re your boogie woogie friend:
'Writing about music is like dancing about architecture'
A quote attributed to the great Declan MacManus, but I think that it predated him.
I actually thought that it was Groucho Marx.
(That's a good comedy Irish name Grouch O'Marks )

There was a fairy. Her name was Nuff. Fair enough?

Oh, am I supposed to be providing jokes aswell?
I thought that that was your role?
Soup and jokes?

Hello Rufus!
(I'm not retired by the way).
Are you going to have a bash at my 'guess who my A level English teacher was' quiz?

Gosh - I've never heard a joke analysed to that extent. I eithe find them funny or not
* GrannyRose* Don't worry! They're retired school teachers so it's still in their DNA to mark anyone down who tells a joke in class.
I had a similar discussion some time ago over a very talented young lady boogie-woogie jazz pianist
Instead of letting the music wash over them they did a demolition job on her technique.
Reminds me of Eng. Lit. teachers at school who told us to "analyze" various chunks of Shakespeare.
That killed my interest and it took years to repair the damage!
Note how nobody is coming up with "acceptable" jokes!/
Stand by for more. Greatnan left an enormous legacy of all types.

Thank you for saying that about my house. We all need to appreciate what we have don't we.
Good night and God bless

I'm a very slow poster! I was just going to add I would love a house with your back garden view. I would not^ move if I were you. We have three bedrooms but one is my husbands quitar and desk room.
I use acrylics and I like painting most subjects but not flowers. I have been learning for three years. Another slow process.
Hopefully going to sleep now. Goodnight FC

Forgot to say I googled Ladykillers as I couldn't remember it and yes it was an enjoyable film although not a favourite but I discovered the Coen Brothers did a remake of the original which I would like to see. I like Coen films.
Strange dream indeed. The fifth anniversary of D Bowies death was two weeks ago so his music has been played a lot recently.
I think I might try to sleep now. The moon is shining brightly into the bedroom. Nice.

Oh wow! Your 'moving house' post could have been written be me.
We've only ever lived here together. I was in a rush to buy a house, and what we should have done is buy a slightly larger house in the first place.
Like you, I would love a conservatory and an extra bedroom. (It's only a two bedroom).
But our garden is amazing and has a fabulous view. I've also got the living room just as I want it.
I know that moving would be just too much hassle to be honest!
I'm very interested that you paint. What type of paintings do you do if you don't mind me asking?

Hello FannyCornforth it was a little bit rubbishy ?. I must get my husbands opinion.
Are we moving? Good question. We are looking for a house with a downstairs loo and another room or conservatory. Or a bungalow. I have nowhere to paint. But every time we view, we come home and think how nuch nicer and well maintained our own house is and perhaps we should extend. I think it will be a very slow process.