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Grandkids moving across country

(35 Posts)
greenlady102 Sun 07-Mar-21 10:45:30

Bereavement is a general term for loss....you can feel bereaved over loss of a loved job, a move, anything you care about really. You will feel some of the stages of grief and that's ok provided you don't (I know you won't) guilt trip the kids over it. You feel what you feel...but those feelings will lessen and maybe pass as you get used to your new situation. When i lost my husband, the most comforting thing anyboday said was a letter from a society where we had been joint members and I had to change the membership. She said "I will pray for you in your new life" because that's what it was for me, and is for you....newness in your life. Not all newness is good and we often need to hunt hard find the good but life goes on and you will too.

Cagney Sun 07-Mar-21 10:44:21

Welcome , treat any negative comments as toilet water , all goes down the drain where it belongs
My parents emigrated to Canada when my three were young
All I can say is though they didn’t see them every weekend they had the best summer holidays being thoroughly loved and loving in return
Take small steps and write proper letters kids were always thrilled to get them
Good luck

slwolfson Thu 04-Mar-21 23:41:26

Not sure this last message posted.
Of course I'm happy for them.
When I say I have other family on
West coast, one daughter is 10 hour drive, other 2 are 2 hrs each. My son who is moving is 30 min.
Guess I'm sensitive, but feel a bit judged.
First time on a forum. Looking for wisdom, and maybe I needed the slap:-)

slwolfson Thu 04-Mar-21 23:32:04

Thank you so much for your encouragement setting tentative visiting date is a great idea!

BlueBelle Thu 04-Mar-21 22:56:39

I totally agree with sodapop it’s far from a bereavement
you ve had a lot of time with your grandkids some of us don’t get that, be happy for them a wonderful new life You moved to be with them and have had 9 years and you have other family there
Lady you are blessed

Hithere Thu 04-Mar-21 22:43:10

I would treasure the years you spent with them and be happy for their new adventure

I agree it is not a beaverement- life just didnt has you envisioned

Callistemon Thu 04-Mar-21 21:58:05

It is not a bereavement.
I can understand how upset you must feel and how you will miss them but they are still here, albeit further away and you will be able to see them again when all this is over.
The best thing you can do is to start planning your first trip to visit them and to stay safe in the meantime.

You're so lucky to be near the rest of your family, too, they must be equally precious.

Thank goodness for modern technology too.

sodapop Thu 04-Mar-21 21:51:27

I'm sorry but its not a bereavement, some of your family are moving to improve their life slwolfson you should be pleased they are getting on with their lives. Of course you will miss them but with all the technology available now you can easily keep in touch. Once the pandemic is under control you will be able to visit. Enjoy time with the rest of your family and making plans to visit the ones who are moving.

B9exchange Thu 04-Mar-21 21:26:27

It is a bereavement when they move away, there is no getting away from it, and I am afraid you will have to work through that. But you can keep in touch through technology, you can send them letters and presents, and if you can arrange a tentative date to go and visit later in the year, before they leave, it will give you something to work towards.

Time will heal, the first week will be the worst, but you will get through this and adapt. flowers

slwolfson Thu 04-Mar-21 20:08:58

Hello!
I live in Oregon in the US. I moved across the country to be here in time for my first grandson and have lived here for 10 years. My grandson who is 9, now has an almost 6 year old brother. I held them both hours after birth and babysat for their pre k years. Just found out they will be moving to upstate NY, clear across the country. I'm reading everything I can get my hands on to stay connected/deal with grief. Covid has robbed me of a year, and now they say they will be in their new home by end of April! Covid killed their business and they could buy land cheaper and hope to homestead.
My 3 daughters are all on this coast. One 21 year old granddaughter also on this coast.
Any and all tips to dig out of depression welcomed :-)