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Baby Showers

(56 Posts)
nanasam Mon 24-Apr-17 10:41:10

I've just been invited to my great-niece's baby shower next month and all I know about them is on American films, where people bring hundreds of dollars worth of presents!

Can you tell me what happens in the UK and what is expected of me? I'm making the baby a Very Hungry Caterpillar playmat but will it be appropriate to take it then or wait until the baby's born?

What do you think of baby showers anyway?

morethan2 Mon 24-Apr-17 10:51:50

I think the playmat will be appropriate. I'm not sure but I think your expected to bring a small gift. I hate all these American ideas. (I don't hate Americans, mostly their wonderful) I just find it difficult to understand the protocols.

Greenfinch Mon 24-Apr-17 10:51:58

I do not like them and think it is just another way of begging for materialistic and expensive gifts.I am really grateful that DD and DiL did not have them for any of our five grandchildren and I haven't heard of any of my friends'children having one.Is it a middle class thing?

nanasam Mon 24-Apr-17 10:58:50

Greenfinch, my DD didn't have one either. I think it's another of those flashy American ideas where people try to outdo each other!

ClaraB Mon 24-Apr-17 11:01:23

The playmat sounds lovely and if it is finished I would take it along. I'm not a fan of these baby showers, I've never been to one and luckily my daughter didn't have one as she doesn't like them either but has been to a few. It does just seem an excuse to go totally over the top.

TerriBull Mon 24-Apr-17 11:12:42

I agree morethan 2, Americans, the ones I have met lovely, however some of their worst excesses float over the pond. It started I think with the school prom, where many parents feel obliged to spend a lot of money, particularly on daughters. Babyshowers, I guess it's a generational thing, it doesn't appeal to me it sounds grabby and a bit vulgar, but I imagine it has it's fans. On a similar note I turned down a hen get together with an acquaintance not a close friend, a mature woman getting married 2nd time around, because she would be the only person in the party I knew and I didn't particularly want to spend well over £50 for an afternoon I didn't fancy.

Thingmajig Mon 24-Apr-17 11:51:27

I think you should keep the play at until the baby arrives. My daughter has been/had baby showers and the gifts have been things like babygros, vests, socks ... just small things.
Might be different for other people though!!!

cornergran Mon 24-Apr-17 11:54:42

Never been to one but understand from those who hae that gifts are usually small and the event very relaxed, often with some daft games. Could you ask someone close to your great niece? Whoever is arranging the shower? I am sure they could reassure and guide you, better than worrying.

Greenfinch Mon 24-Apr-17 12:08:11

Really glad I haven't been to one if games are on the agendasmile

DanniRae Mon 24-Apr-17 12:30:11

I think that, maybe, you are supposed to bring a gift for the mother-to-be too but never been to one. Just listened to my daughters talking about ones they had been to.

Jane10 Mon 24-Apr-17 13:23:28

DD had one for her first baby. Her friend organised it. People brought small useful presents and we played daft games like putting a nappy on a teddy while blindfolded. The quickest and neatest won. It was a pleasant relaxed afternoon. Old hands shared stories about their own deliveries (ladies only session!). DD asked questions and general top tips were shared. It was a nice little tea party with lovely treats to eat.

kittylester Mon 24-Apr-17 13:45:07

Two of my DDs have had them - organised by friends too. Afternoon tea was served - tiny sandwiches, fairy cakes and scones etc, all served on pretty china. There was a theme for presents - one daughter's theme was 'Bring your favourite children's book' which were then all run past the organiser so the poor child didn't end up with a dozen Hungry Caterpillars. Gentle daft games were also played.

Norah Mon 24-Apr-17 14:19:00

My 2 younger DDs have had showers and attended showers as have my elder DDs daughters. It seems as if it's just an excuse to have tea and sweets. The gifts have typically been small and inexpensive, nothing fancy like a special made play mat.

I knit little hats for babies, that is my gifty, generally. I went to a lovely shower where the gift scheme was disposable nappies, quite strange but well received.

grannypiper Mon 24-Apr-17 15:12:40

What is the point of these and what on earth does the shower part even mean ?

Riverwalk Mon 24-Apr-17 15:31:50

According to my US friends grannypiper they were originally a way for a group of friends to get together and help the mother-to-be with the expense of a new baby by bringing a small gift of baby essentials e.g. clothes, blankets etc.

Obviously things have since moved on - I read that some expectant mothers now hold their own 'shower' and send out a gift list, along the lines of a wedding list!

Like a lot of simple traditions e.g. birthday teas and party bags they've become a bit 'grabby' and commercial.

kittylester Mon 24-Apr-17 15:33:53

They are not all 'grabby' River, the ones organised for my two youngest DDs were very simple and understated.

Norah Mon 24-Apr-17 15:43:55

Not at all grabby, just tea and a chance to get together.

Jane10 Mon 24-Apr-17 15:52:33

I agree with kitty and Norah. Maybe the 'grabbiness' depends on the mother to be concerned? That certainly wasn't the case with DD.

SueDonim Mon 24-Apr-17 19:16:20

I think the name comes from the idea of showering the mother-to-be with gifts. I've only ever been to an American one, almost 40 years ago.

Sometimes they are combined with a 'reveal' party when the expectant parents tell the guests whether it's a boy or a girl.

Marks and Spencer do baby reveal cakes. My grandfather's saying about fools and their money comes to mind! grin www.marksandspencer.com/baby-bottle-blue-cake-pre-order-available-from-15th-february-2017-/p/p60095190?prevPage=plp

Grannyben Mon 24-Apr-17 19:32:40

I think you will have a lovely time. I've only been to a couple but both were very enjoyable. Just a small number of close friends and family, mostly something to eat along the lines of afternoon tea and, yes, maybe the odd silly game. I would save your playmat for when the baby arrives and just take a little something

ElaineI Mon 24-Apr-17 19:38:41

Never heard of a grabby expensive one in UK just friendly and fun - tea, cakes and small useful things like nappies, wipes, sudocreme, games and funny stories.

ginny Mon 24-Apr-17 22:03:21

I've been to a few. . An afternoon tea or a small buffet. A couple of games . The gifts were mainly small things like bibs, nappies, muslins and sleep suits. Good fun and a very pleasant afternoon .

Grannyknot Tue 25-Apr-17 06:45:20

"Baby showers" have been around in South Africa since the 1970s or before, when I had my children. They are usually arranged by a close friend of the mum-to-be for first babies, and the aim is to stock up with necessities, baby oil, perhaps a pack of nappies etcetera.

It's a lovely idea when it stays true to the original intention, a group of women getting together to support the new mum. I went to one here recently, where someone (who hadn't been to one before) described it as "tribal" smile.

kittylester Tue 25-Apr-17 07:25:48

DD2'S Mil is Zimbabwean and was the initiator of the first one I went to. It was, as I said upthread, a gentle afternoon tea with everyone bringing their favourite book for the baby.

Iam64 Tue 25-Apr-17 07:53:53

My initial response to the idea of baby showers was negative. Since then, my own children have had them, as have several of their friends. I went to the first with trepidation but enjoyed it a lot. A gathering of long term female friends, a collection of sandwiches, cakes, soft drinks, cups of tea (and occasionally a bit of fizz - never consumed by the mother to be). The gifts were much appreciated and were largely practical items, nappies, towels, baby grows etc. I'd save the play mat until the baby arrives and just take a small gift - I took something for the mum to be, moisturiser etc.