I have 5 grandchildren in all, all teenagers and above. I have saved money for each of them and they will all inherit an equal share.
I know from personal experience, I needed money when I was their age much more than I need it now.
Background to the problem - my 2 eldest grand daughters are in their 30's. My husband gave each of them a large lump sum when they became of age. One of them took driving lessons and bought a little car. The other bought her boyfriend a motorbike (He is the father of her 2 children and soon after was no longer on the scene.) She has the sweetest nature but has no sense when it comes to money.
Since then we have given each of them money at birthdays and Christmas. The first grandchild is always thankful and tells us how the money has been spent. The second one never tells us what she has done with the money and we can see no obvious benefits she has gained from it.
At Christmas, my husband gave both of them £50 and I doubled it up for the first grandchild and put the same amount on one side for the second one.
We asked the 2nd one how she intended to spend her £50 and she said she was going to have her hair cut. She hasn't had it cut in years. My intention being to give her £50 when I knew she had spent her 1st £50 wisely - not on take-away meals and tattoos. Needless to say, she has not had her hair cut and the money has drifted away.
My dilemma - My 65+ Bond is maturing and I don't need the money at my age. I want to share it with my grandchildren and have the pleasure of seeing them make good use of it- Neither my husband nor I ever tell them how to spend any money we have given to them
My problem is that if I give it to grand daughter 2, I know she will blow it and have nothing to show for it. I have worked hard to be in the financial position I am in now and hate to think of my hard earned money being wasted.
I want her to have her share and I would like to tell her that the money is still there for her but I won't give it to her until she learns the value of it and tells me how she is spending it or saving it. (some hope).
If I do, I will get the usual 'poor me' reply and I already feel guilty that I didn't give her the other £50 at Christmas.
I am losing sleep worrying about it especially because she has the sweetest nature and it would be so easy to just give it to her and then begrudge having done so.
What would you do?
Things you find stressful that other people don't notice.