Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

It does need a bit of light dusting, it’s true, but a nice little bar nevertheless.I shall pour myself a large one and see who drops by to help.

Will free cake help????????

What are we going to do with all those foot pumps and skin tone puncture repairs kits by the door?

Stack them in the cellar, they may come in handy one fine day ( or one rainy day.)

Marydoll will be back from her German Jolly anytime and maybe will bring a few men with her, as we all know ‘ many
Hans make light work’ and am looking forward to meeting
Wandering Hans and Careless Hans, they sound like fun.

Is she bringing Hans Knees and his cousin Bumpsa Daisy too?

Why hello ladies, loving the new place, the loo has a lock on the door unlike the old place so that's a good start.lets have a housewarming party this weekend and call it All Hans on Deck as there seem to be a few of them coming back with Marydoll.

Maybe a loo roll if only at weekends because I am running out of newspaper to bring. A lock is fabulous- perhaps somebody has a spare loo seat? I suppose what is there is marginally better than a hole in the ground.

Is anyone allowed in, or do I have to wait for an invite? I am fairly new to this, but do like a glass of vino or fizz ??????

Hallo - any Danish pastries out of the oven yet?

Please be careful GG, most drinks are doctored. Just barge in, that is what I did.

Teetime please be careful, the Danish pastries on display have probably been there for a month or two.

Really! Such insults!
We only moved in here the other night, and Soop brought those pastries round here this morning ( and I only dropped them on the floor the once.)
Has anyone seen Jason ( the alsation) he was prowling around earlier and has now vanished?
Where is Marydoll with those Hans, we need all Hans on deck today to mop out the cellar.

Knowing Jason, he has possibly licked the pastries. If soop supplied them I would vouch for them before Jason licked them.

Grannygravy does your name suggest you cook? We need some more food options apart from the dodgy brownies and the licked pastries ? Anyway you are most welcome

Well, that's a fine turn of events! I pitch up at the Argy and there is a condemned notice on the door and no sign of the members.
I eventually spotted some dodgy looking laydees disappearing down a dark alleyway and decided to follow them. One of the old birds asked me where the Danish pastries were. She must have mistaken the Argy for Soop' s kitchen. She must be joking, we are not that posh.?

I have a nose for a party. What gave it away was the old bird carrying a toilet seat and newspaper threaded together with string. Do you know what we need? I went to a fancy toilet in Germany ( paid 50cents), pressed a button to flush, the seat started spinning round, as it was sprayed with disinfectant, now that IS posh!!

Many Hans make light work, but I'm unsure whether to share them.
Just because I " borrowed" the swear box, ( you certainly did a lot of swearing, Chewy), doesn't mean you had to do a moon light flit and open a new Argy without me.☹️.
I had to trawl Gransnet to find you all! You can't hide from me!?

Marydoll we almost made it- maybe we will have better luck in a few weeks when we open the next caff.

Cheeky!!?

I haven't visited the Argy Bargy till now. Can you confirm it's for my two dogs to come in with me. The big dog is a sweetie but so large she knocks small children over, or empties tables, just by wagging her tail.
The smaller (but still not in truth small) dog is affectionate, lovable, needy and adores all adults. He is rather fearful of small children and big dogs he doesn't know, so may lunge and bark if confronted by these terrifying things.
It sounds to me like they'll fit in well. I'm not coming in if they can't. We'll sit outside and they'll howl.

Come in, come in Iam ( are you a vampire who needs to be invited in?)?
Your doggies are most welcome, we allow anything here, we used to have ferrets running riot at one time.Now we have Jason the alsation ( and his many fleas) and Meno’s ginger wig, which sits on the bar and customers think is a cat.
They keep trying to give it crisps.
All new customers welcome, btw the house rules are:
There is an honesty box on one end of the bar, when nobody is around to serve you, help yourself and put some money in the box, usual rules apply, no Irish sixpences, bent
Coppers ( they will be round here later) or buttons please!
On the other end of the bar is the swear box, usually full if Meno ( or me) are around.
The coffee machine does work, but you have to give it a shove first ( a bit like Big Jim our handyman.)

Can we have some bratwurst! ????

Mapleleaf, I did get you some bratwurst, but just as I was approaching the Argy, I heard a terrible howling noise. Suddenly I was knocked over by what I think was a very long, wagging tail. then a small furry thing jumped in and ate the sausages. Sorry, no bratwurst for you, but it is the thought that counts.
We had some for lunch today and they were absolutely delicious. Yum, yum.

I just knew those dogs would fit right in at The Argy!

Welcome home dear Marydoll did you return the swear box?
Where are Hans across the sea, and all his friends?

Help, pour me a double double-quick!

DGS is trying to entertain me with some app or other he has found which makes loud farting noises (it is supposed to be a deflating balloon but no-one is fooled)!.

Great fun, reminds me of that old rhyme about sugar and spice and all things nice etc etc.

I meant - Great fun - not!