the "hard" menopause

None! I’ve had to come off my really low dose oestrogen only HRT a couple of times before ops and I turn into the Wicked Witch of the East. My memory goes, my skin is even worse than normal, I have freezing cold as well as hot sweaty flushes, I’m tired, put on weight, I can’t cope and I turn into a right old bitch.

It’s three weeks since I’ve been back on and I’m starting to feel more normal again and DH no longer cringes when I enter the room. My GP says I can stay on my present dose for ever. It’s now been accepted that it helps prevent dementia and osteoporosis and the cancer threat is lower than previously thought. And my weight is slowly dropping again which is good for the joints. Love my doctor! (And he’s a bloke!)

It's such a personal thing petunia and depends a lot on the way your GP feels about HRT. My menopause was some years ago now and I took HRT on an intermittent basis.
I suffered badly from hot flushes to the extent that in meetings people would see my neck starting to get red and immediately jump up to open a window.
I'm sure its affected my body temperature regulation as I now suffer badly in the heat.

I always assumed that the menopause was just a cessation of menstruation, I mostly ignored it and had no symptoms and no problems.

lucky youharrigran if I hadn't got HRT I'd have got a divorce .Night sweats so bad I had to change sheets in the middle of the night ,crying for nothing,extreme fatigue ,non stop bleeding for weeks on end and much more .Its great that some .like you dont need help but it irritates me beyond belief when some women use their easy menopause to make people like me feel bad and guilty about needing help.
I'm on HRT for life and believe me if any doctor tries to take it off me I'll fight tooth and nail .

You were lucky harrigran, count your blessings. Petunia, your experience mirrors that of others I know. I was fortunate with menopausal symptoms, mine were confined to awful intermittent heavy periods and the odd hot sweat.

I could manage that, but the other impacts of coming off HRT were dire. I have RA and other auto immune conditions, including Sjogrens Syndrome, which causes dry eyes, dry joints, dry other regions which cause significant irritation and pain. It's grim and being on HRT kept all of that in its place and has been the worse aspect of coming off HRT. Given a choice and more knowledge I'd have taken the risks of HRT any day.

I chose not to seek help for my menopausal symptoms, but to ride it out naturally, that is, with no HRT. I have had awful night sweats and brain fog. Fortunately I was never really had tempered, and I worked throughout most of it. I did have to write lists and stick to a rigid time scale but it gradually improved. I'm my normal self again, I still have hot flushes, but nothing like in the early days. I'm thirteen years down the line from my last period.

I was advised not to have HRT as my mother had breast cancer whilst on it. I actually had an easy menopause, main symptoms the occasional hot flush and regular very heavy periods, having been irregular all my adult life and they just stopped one month

Petunia. My GP, a man, said the same to me. My gynecologist said I could be on it for ever. My problem is energy levels plummeted. I have been looking at alternatives but I want to go back on HRT and risk any minute side effects.

Like harrigran I was fortunate in having no obvious symptoms. Periods stopped at 55 and that was that.

I was lucky too, no problems really or none that I couldn’t easily manage. I don’t think any of my friends had hrt either so it needn’t necessarily be that bad. Feeling grateful.

Just gone along with it - had and still get some hot flushes but didn't really have the night sweats some ladies get, thank goodness. I don't like taking medication so never thought about HRT - if your menopause is really dire though it must be a blessing to be able to use HRT rather than just suffer through it.

Completely agree with you Dumpling, don't suffer if you don't need to!

I lost a well paid job because of my Menopause. It was over twenty years ago now but the memory lingers on. It was not a good time. Still trying to lose the weight I gained through stupidly going on HRT.

Read all the books - Gemaine Greer had some sensible words on the subject. However my youngest sister was not prepared to have this life changer affecting her lifestyle. Refused the books I offered and sailed on. How did she do that I have often wondered, but she is not a confider. So I will never know.

Gosh when I look back over those troubled times, it's a surprise that folk still speak to me!

I had a 'forced' menopause following a total hysterectomy when I had ovarian cancer at the age of 47. hated the hot flushes so opted for hrt. 23 years later I fully intend staying on hrt for life. I see no reason why I shouldn't protect myself from osteoporosis and anything else and it keeps me feeling and looking younger than I am and thankfully my gp, a lady, agrees with me.

I hate media articles and comment that imply that people who need HRT are somehow failing to achieve a smooth menopause.
I also had a terrible menopause when I was told to stop taking HRT. It lasted ten years in all and was absolute hell, despite the fact that I am fit, active and eat well.
It is blindingly obvious that people have different experiences and it is nothing to do with positive attitudes, brisks walks or the latest snake oil. I found childbirth very easy; I don't go around suggesting that people who needed a caesarian simply weren't trying hard enough.

Hi Petunia, lovely name.
I wasn't allowed HRT (health thing) best friend, 2months younger than me was, she never had any usual meno. probs,
I seemed to have them all, my mother and sister were o.k with their meno. (I'm not a moaner). My friend doesn't have excessive wrinkles hair loss etc. where as I do and feel 90 at 70, she is still chasing about like a 30 year old, lot of other aquaintances the same on HRT, I would take it like a shot.

Looking back I must have been bloody lucky! When things came to a halt at 49 I waited fearfully for all the negatives I'd heard/read about to start overtaking me.....but very little happened apart from cessation of periods.

One unexpected side-effect was that my hair - which was already pretty thick and a bugger to manage - got even thicker and now grows even faster......

I had an early menopause at 42, suffered the hot flushes, weight gain, brain fog mood changes for a few months then went to see my GP ( a man) he immediately gave me HRT, we swapped and changed until we found one that suited me, in my mid 50s my Gp ( not the same one and a woman) decided I’d been on it long enough and I should stop, all the horrific symptoms reappeared, I lived with them for a few years, how I still have a husband I don’t know!, My GP refused to prescribe HRT now as I’m too old , 60, she gave me another medication that has helped with the hot flushes but they’re still there, as are some of the other symptoms, I know this is a stage of life but I mourn for the person I was

I only took HRT for about six months into my menopause to try and 'cure' my night sweats.... which was the only symptom of menopause I had! Then I was taken off it in the wake of a bad report vis. -a- vis, it's possible affect on previous stroke victim's , one of which I was and am. I have to say that while on HRT I didn't notice any difference...it didn't even 'touch the edges' of my night sweats!! So no problem with me coming of the drug. My sweats continued to be my one and only symptom of menopause for the next 17 years!! and finially stopped a year ago. No other symptoms ever developed or if they did I didn't notice as I was busy with a full time job and a husband who had just had a stroke aged 50. I was and am his only carer to this day. I had no sympathy or understanding from him as he was and still is wrapped up in himself saying ""why me" for the last 20 years. He says he never even noticed a difference in me over those 17 years ....even though we went through 3 mattresses in that time!!

I had terrible hot flushes in my late 40s whilst still having periods regularly. I started HRT then which helped a lot. Every time I got a repeat the GP said it was not good for me. After a few years they told me there was a lower dose I could take, which I did. At 55 I was told I could no longer have HRT but I was over the worst then. Bizarrely the hot flushes are worse since hysterectomy at 64.

My menopause symptoms were also severe - and after a life of trouble free menstruation that came as a shock! I am also on HRT (tibolone) for the long term. I deal with the risks (which are not as dangerous as we were led to believe) by attending mammograms and checking breasts and have discovered that there are organisations where you can get scans of ovaries and uterus to check for any early signs of thickening/cancer. These are places where you can also get private pregnancy scans. My "well woman" check cost about £100.

Please please please watch this. It is the most up to date clinical research and guidelines on HRT and menopause.
elearning.rcgp.org.uk/mod/page/view.php?id=3009
There is absolutely no need to go through a “ hard menopause”.

Didnt take HRT myself but I think I was just always crabby so no-one noticed anything different! Around my late 40's periods became heavy and erratic, then reduced to every three months, then twice a year then nothing. Last one was about 10 years ago but I have noticed that now I perspire far more than I ever did in the heat (back of the neck and temples oddly), which I never associated with menopause but reading other gransnetters post it could be!
So I guess I went for the 'hard' menopause which was manageable in my case (although erratic v heavy periods were at times very disruptive to family life!) but fully appreciate how rotten it can be for others, my cousin calls her HRT pills her 'little miracles' and wouldnt be without them.

This is quite a timely thread for me, I have just come back from the doctor as I have this morning experienced bleeding having been on Everol Conti patches for about 6 weeks This is the 2nd time I have been on them, first time I came off as blood pressure was raised, but that was okay today.. Apropos of the bleeding, my doctor did suggest it's probably hormonal but has referred me to a gynaecologist anyway, I will probably stop taking them until I have had an examination and further advice from the consultant as to whether I should carry on. To be honest, and I am on a low dose, the benefits have been minimal, just cooler at night thus reducing the thrashing around and insomnia.

I don't think it's a bad thing if well known personalities talk about their menopause. However, everyone's experience is different, some sail through it others have horrendous symptoms, it's really a case of whatever personally gets you through what can be a very tough time and no one else can say what works for them will work for others. Not sure I'd consult a male GP though, but not a problem at the practice I go to where a male doctor is a rare thing.