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(11 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Fri 20-Sep-19 17:19:02

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at my sons house after a hospital appointment.It was interesting to see what a friendly area he has recently moved to. Perhaps because he is working at home at the moment he knew several people in the cafe and shops. Such a difference to where I now live.
Is your area friendly ? Perhaps it's easier when you are young.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 20-Sep-19 17:25:52

sounds wonderful, there are some real friendly communities and I live in one. When I was working I knew hardly anyone but since retiring and using he local shops and cafe I seem to know everyone.

Is it a big town you live in or a commuting area where everyone is out during the day.

kircubbin2000 Fri 20-Sep-19 17:31:23

It's mostly elderly near here, neighbours have carers.I tried U3A but a few bossy people put me off. Have found one nice church group which starts next week and I have my old school friend quite near. It is a lovely area so I suppose that makes up for a lot.

NanaandGrampy Fri 20-Sep-19 17:36:42

We moved here nearly 2 years ago, to a rural village of 2500 people .

It’s so different from our previous home in Essex it’s almost laughable . The first time Grampy took the dog for a walk he came back full of tales of the people who stopped to chat.

We have a community care voluntary organisation and if you need anything as an elderly person or maybe young mum, you call up and people make it happen, from walking your dog to mowing your grass or a simple chat and a cuppa.

There’s a hobby group for everyone . The butcher knows your name , the bakers knocked on every door in the village when the Beast from the East cut us off delivering bread , milk and checking on everyone .

Every day we congratulate ourselves on making a good choice . It’s just lovely.

kircubbin2000 Fri 20-Sep-19 17:48:10

A nice thing on our local facebook yesterday. A lonely young mum posted and straight away she had offers for coffee, baby groups and walks.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 20-Sep-19 17:53:50

Kircubbin, there is a community out there just waiting.......

Grammaretto Sun 22-Sep-19 07:42:28

Well said Barmy. I think it would be quite hard to be really lonely here too. Sonetimes if I'm in a hurry, I have to keep my head down and rush past people I recognise or it takes half an hour to buy a loaf of bread.

We helped start a community group nearly 20 years ago, to save old buildings initially, but it has grown into a café every Saturday, a cinema every Sunday night and a community garden. Other branches too and another voluntary group has recently bought an empty shop selling good local produce but with ambitious plans to have workshops.
Despite friendly people it is still possible to be depressed and lonely sometimes.
Human nature probably.

Good luck with finding friends. Is it time to give U3A another go?

BradfordLass72 Sun 22-Sep-19 11:54:05

When I first moved here 10 years ago, I had hoped the community get-togethers started by the charity which owns the whole road and the charity who built the 14 houses would continue but they didn't.

There is another charity-owned road running parallel, linking ours with a footbridge over a stream and in those houses are extended families from all corners of the world.

So our community parties were wonderful with lots of lovely ethnic foods and music. I was the only person from our road who attended although one other person did go just once.

I don't see or communicate with any of my immediate neighbours as they are mostly out at work (although this is regarded as 'social housing' they have somehow managed to flout the rules about income levels). C'est la vie.

On the one occasion a couple down our road 'organised' a Christmas party, the invitation read, 'Bring your own food, drink, cup, plate and chair.' So just what were they organising?

We sat outside on their drive and the whole tone of the conversation was blatantly racist, uninformed claptrap.

I, who was working with refugess and have many Maori friends, made my thoughts plain and walked away (with my cup, plate and chair but left the food and drink, hoping it'd choke 'em) so I doubt I am popular wth that crowd anyway.

Not long afterwards, they asked the charity to put a chain link gate across the road to stop non white people walking past their homes. Not walking in and ravishing their budgies, you understand, nor stealing their wine and silver, just walking past

I have one lovely neighbour, who lives opposite. He's quiet and shy, shares his surplus vegetables with me as I do my baking with him. We take in each others couriered parcels but we don't socialise as such.

His late wife was Maori and he has children and grandchildren who prove their heritage abundatly when visiting, so I don't suppose he'd be welcomed by the bigots further down anyway.

Jane10 Sun 22-Sep-19 11:58:53

Gosh that sounds awful Bradfordlass. Such blatant racism. I'd have thought that would have been banned in NZ. What a pity you have to put up with such awful people.

Sara65 Sun 22-Sep-19 12:06:05

We have always lived in villages, and have been part of the community. We moved to this one fifteen years ago, the estate agent told us it was so friendly no one ever wanted to leave!

That is not our experience, interfering, yes, but friendly, no. I love my house, but there is no community in this village.

Grammaretto Sun 22-Sep-19 12:43:38

Crikey Bradfordlass that description sounds so awful. I wonder if it would be the same here though if we actually had immigrants or ethnic minorities.

I once almost had a battle with a woman at a bus stop who said there were far too many muslims and immigrants here. "Where?" I asked. "Do you have problems?" "Not personally" said she "but they are pouring into our country".