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Happy mum Happy baby

(127 Posts)
Newatthis Sun 16-Feb-20 18:55:21

We all know that if a child's childhood is spent in idyllic circumstances with a happy mum then it is more than likely to turn out OK - or is it? It's all well and good Kate regaling how she was inspired by her granny whom it would seem baked, did arts and crafts etc etc etc and that she felt anxious as a new mum bringing George back from the hospital - really Kate? Did you have to immediately get on with washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking, night-time feeds etc etc. whilst in a state of constant exhaustion with no help from anyone. What about all the mums (and dads) living on very low income, perhaps in an abusive relationships, living in a high rise block of flats when the lift doesn't work etc etc etc. She has no idea what it's like to stay happy under the adverse conditions that sometimes motherhood brings. I wish she would stop trying to 'pretend' to understand - she's never had to go without anything, neither before she was married or since and with an army of help, she never will.

Bibbity Sun 16-Feb-20 18:58:11

And you have no idea what she goes through.

How about instead of tearing another woman down we all listen and support?

Anniebach Sun 16-Feb-20 19:00:29

We have never had to face the press hours after giving birth .

Money didn’t stop that awful pregnancy sickness she had, and money doesn’t mean you don’t have worries.

trisher Sun 16-Feb-20 19:06:30

Good try Newatthis but on GN Kate is "She Who Can Do No Wrong" and any criticism is rejected completely.I agree that she has no idea what it is like for most women and never will. It would be nice if she could just keep quiet instead of doing this 'I'm just the same as you' act, because she isn't.

MawB Sun 16-Feb-20 19:11:42

Oh let’s all compete for how awfully grim life was with a new baby. Was it really? Why on earth did anybody have a No 2?
Or was it more like what I remember?
Head over heels in love with my baby, I glimpsed perfection in that little face. Looking at that little bundle and the pride and wonder on its father’s face and thinking Wow! We did that!
Can we remember the joy, pride and yes, the worries, the inadequacy, the fear that the little scrap would not last the night(poking him/her to check (s)he was still breathing.
I personally applaud Kate for being the most hands on mum the RF has ever seen , for not being “too posh to push” and for giving her children the chance to play outside, get muddy and just be kids.
This is not meant as a Meghan bash, but I do wonder how much Kate’s loving “normal” childhood has contributed to her being a normal well-balanced mum, not afraid to share her babies with us, not afraid to let them play in the mud or go on a bug hunt in the garden.
From what I saw from the Thomas Markle programme, Meghan’s life was not like that.
Perhaps you can’t pay forward what you have never received.

GagaJo Sun 16-Feb-20 19:13:40

Couldn't agree more, Newatthis.

My daughter had hyperemesis, not just for 3 months, for 9 months. At no point did the NHS take her into hospital, put her in an antiemetic drip, rehydrate her. She was also at home with a baby with extreme colic for months, with no support.

So yes, Kate had a lovely childhood and now worries about her own children. But she has never faced life's harsh realities. FGS, she's going to be queen one day. It's pampering all the way.

DIL17 Sun 16-Feb-20 19:15:57

I think she's amazing!

It must be so hard being the mum of a future king. The pressure people will put on her parenting and how she's brining him up will increase as time goes on.

trisher Sun 16-Feb-20 19:17:10

See Newatthis St Kate triumphs again.
MawB I don't thnk anyone as said our lives were all 'grim'with a new baby but there are undoubtedly those whose are. Who can't let their children play out because they are in a high rise flat or worse still living in B&B accommodation in one room with no cooking facilities. And a privileged Princess posting pictures of her child sniffing bluebells and preaching how children should be outside doesn't help them one bit.

MawB Sun 16-Feb-20 19:18:41

Some people are apparently not happy unless they are putting someone else down.
DD2 also had hyperemesis, she was under the care of UCLH and they kept a close eye on her, admitting her for one night as a precaution.
It’s as enough being sick at your office desk (or in the loos) - imagine that with the eyes of the media on you?
But no, I am not saying Kate Cambridge can do no wrong but I recognise much of my DDs ‘ attitude to bringing up their children in what she is saying.

MawB Sun 16-Feb-20 19:19:40

Keep your disapproval Trisher, Newatthis and others - my views remain the same.

Oopsadaisy3 Sun 16-Feb-20 19:21:04

Well I had my first child whilst living in a high rise block (13th floor) , where the lift seldom worked and it doesn’t bother me that she is happy.
I’m happy now and I too cooked, did artwork and played with my children and then grandchildren, outdoors when we had a garden, I’m pleased and proud that my daughters had a good childhood in spite of our hardships and I don’t begrudge or envy Catherine and her family.
I doubt that envying her is on the top of anyones list whether they have money or not, it never occurred to me to envy others at the time.

Anniebach Sun 16-Feb-20 19:21:35

We will never have to cope with constant criticism, we don’t
have concerns our children will be judged by every action .

She has face the public and media knowing one expression
can lead to ‘is their marriage on the rocks’ .

MawB Sun 16-Feb-20 19:22:12

PS Gagajo both Walthamstow DDs had wonderful support from UCLH, Whipps Cross, a doula, a breast feeding counsellor and a midwife.
So not just for royalty or those on private medicine.

trisher Sun 16-Feb-20 19:26:32

It isn't envy to think that the least someone in a position of wealth and authority should have is a little understanding and compassion for the poorest and weakest in society. It's asking for some humanity.

ExperiencedNotOld Sun 16-Feb-20 19:27:35

We can only experience our own unique circumstance. Just because hers may appear more privileged doesn’t mean that her difficulties were any less real to her. The woman is attempting to empathise with other women. For goodness sake!

GagaJo Sun 16-Feb-20 19:27:49

It's not about envy at all. The point being made is that she is one of the luckiest and most privileged in our society. And given that we've had over 10 years of austerity, and many people struggle to access basic healthcare and education, it is smug and insensitive to flaunt that privilege.

Your DD was lucky Maw. My daughter was heading towards organ failure, due to the NHS failing to recognise the severity of her condition. It's what killed Charlotte Bronte, after all.

Anniebach Sun 16-Feb-20 19:35:20

Asking for humanity trisher ? For some not for all

Anniebach Sun 16-Feb-20 19:36:07

Greatest sin for some here is a person has wealth

trisher Sun 16-Feb-20 19:48:11

Not wealth Annie (if it's me you are referring to) but a lack of appreciation of how lucky someone is and how dreadful others lives might be.

merlotgran Sun 16-Feb-20 19:53:02

How would you like Kate to demonstrate her appreciation of how lucky she is, trisher?

HettyMaud Sun 16-Feb-20 19:56:56

I agree with Newatthis. I am starting to get a bit sick of the pair of them. I went off them when they had child number 3 - surely they have heard that the world is over-populated and should be setting an example. They had a boy and girl so why not stop there.

Summerlove Sun 16-Feb-20 19:57:27

How about instead of tearing another woman down we all listen and support?

If only this stayed true for all circumstances

Anniebach Sun 16-Feb-20 19:59:25

trisher she doesn’t know how dreadful others lives can be but you know how everyone lives are even though you haven’t
lived them .

I don’t know what life is like in a high rise flat , I don’t know
what it’s like living in a travelling community , I don’t know
what it’s like living in an inner city , so much I haven’t
experienced unlike you who know what everyone thinks and experiences

phoenix Sun 16-Feb-20 20:00:14

Ok, she had help and support from staff, but that doesn't mean to say that she didn't have worries about if she was doing things right, and the usual postpartum mood swings!

Anniebach Sun 16-Feb-20 20:01:19

If child number 3 hadn’t been planned she should have thought of the world and aborted it ?