I tried, I really did......

OMG, I only had to read it once and I understood exactly what you wanted and what to do if something was not available.

At this rate, you will be looking for another part-time job to pay for the "extras".

There are times when I am happy to be on my own and this is one of them!

It made me smile. Thank you.

That all sounds very familiar..!! Can you make a cream based sauce for your steaks perhaps?

Mr Chen only ever listens to the very end of my suggestions so “please don’t buy chicken” translates to “buy chicken” - then to prove what a great listener he is he buys lots and lots of chicken and is as pleased as punch with himself as he waits for his ‘Best Chicken Buyer’ medal. If he knew how many times I rolled my eyes inwardly at him during the day he’d be surprised. I find I have to write everything down in minute detail (sometimes with actual drawings) and then text him to remind him to look at the list! He’s lovely and everything but dear god...

Thank you for the funny post. My DH came back with his paper and a litre of semi-skimmed. When I asked where my sensitive skin bath gel was he said, ‘Oh, I didn’t go down that isle.’ ?

We have come to an understanding.

When he says “no” it means tell me that again.

When he says ‘Yes” it means he wasn’t listening.......

If you whip up the cream, add spoon of icing sugar and some alcohol and freeze (no stirring required) you will have adult ice cream.

Sit and eat it all yourself. Reward for being so patient.

I once let husband do supermarket shop. Spent all the money on chocolate cakes and sweet biscuits and a football magazine.

Aaargh.

What is creamed cabbage please?

I send my husband with photos on his phone of everything I want. I only allow him to do a small top up shop as if he did a full shop we would soon run out of money.

Years ago I text my DH to get some ‘pots’ on his way home from work. He came home with nothing and said he didn’t know what I meant. I suppose to be fair I should have written potatoes but instead I used the abbreviation I would put on a shopping list for me.

Greymar you can buy it ready made in some supermarkets, usually labelled as "creamed cabbage & spring greens" but I sometimes make my own.

Cook cabbage/spring greens as normal (I usually shred quite finely & steam, but whatever works for you)

Finely chop a smallish onion, and saute/fry in a little oil until tender. Drain on kitchen paper.

Mix cooked cabbage and onion, season to taste (black pepper and freshly grated nutmeg are good) add some cream, stir through to mix, bung in dish, heat through, serve.

Phoenix
That rang a bell in this house. ???
Those instructions were waaaaay too complicated for a ?? ?! Ssh! Don’t tell the p c brigade I said that. My OH only does black or white. No shades of grey. So if I ask him to leave the door open on a hot day, he will also leave it open on a cold day. “ because you said leave it open ! “

My husband always buys too much of anything. I might say carrots and he brings a 2kilo bag. (There are only two of us.)
I have learned to be extremely exact. He takes his phone but if he’s in doubt,he doesn’t call. ?

I gave my DH a list once. It said 3 pears. The greengrocer and DH decided it meant 3 lbs peas. The only time I shelled peas methinks!

This is such a good thread , Phoenix . I thought I was the only one with this problem.

Where may I ask did you lot find these supposedly intelligent morons? Surely they are not related?!

That sounds tasty and kind of semi healthy!

Write it all down - Mr 1968 shops well with clear instructions. And sometimes he adds some thoughtful touches of his own, like custard slices....

Update!

As if by magic, my white cabbage has become a small green cabbage and a bag of kale!

Charleygirl my beloved late step father was very intelligent, qualified barrister and commercial pilot, but not an ounce of common sense!

Mr P is an engineer, letters after his name etc, but............. Mind you, might do better if he put his damn glasses on! Humph!

My DH only listens to the first thing I say and then switches off or so I supposed. Now hes retired and I am spending a lot of time with him I've discovered its hearing loss.
Trip to Audiologist 2 hearing aids later problem solved.

Now he keeps telling me to turn my music down!!!!

Not been told to do that since I was a teenager turn down that Base you'll cause deafness when you're older shouts Dad.

Nothing wrong with my hearing

Greymar, yes, very tasty and can make a nice change, not so sure about the "healthy" though! However, as an accompaniment to the occasional meal, (chops, chicken etc) won't do much harm after all, it is mainly veg, just up to you how much cream you add...........

Reminds me of the time, after about six months of newly wed bliss, I met my DH at lunchtime and told him I hadn't time in the morning to finish off preparing our evening meal and asked him to finish off the turnip (swede) and put pan on 10mins before potato one as I would be home before they needed drained, etc (said to make sure there was plenty water in pan). Entered house to hear a clanking noise, went through to kitchen and large whole swede was boiling away. Hadn't thought it would need cut into chunks - thank goodness there was still some water in the pan!! Another one was when he put out a beautifully arranged salad bowl with finely sliced courgette round the side - thought it was cucumber!!!

Well, seeing as all these husbands always get the shopping so terribly wrong, perhaps their ever perfect wives could go and get the shopping themselves.

Problem solved. ?

Whaaaaat ? And deny ourselves this chance of a bit of fun?

Nah - we’ll just carry on as we are Grandad