Gransnet forums

Chat

DH rant coming up...

(90 Posts)
grannyrebel7 Fri 22-May-20 09:58:52

At risk of upsetting the GNers of the male persuasion again (I know they were upset yesterday!) I casually asked my DH to put up some shelves in our bedroom. Well you would have thought I'd asked him to build the Great Wall of China or something! He huffed and puffed and tutted and said that there was no need for shelves in the bedroom. Why did I want them now? I replied that I thought it would be nice to have some to put my perfumes/jewellery etc. on. I then said it would be a nice little project for him to which he replied that he'd think of his own projects thank you very much. Bad move, so I then tried the well if you won't do it I'll do it myself tactic. I know he hates me saying this as he always thinks I'll mess things up and he'll have to sort it out in the end. After this threat he came round a bit. I had no intention of doing it myself btw! Devious creatures us women sometimes! To end the story he said that he'd do it when Ikea opens and we can get some from there. To which I replied that B&Q, Wickes etc. are open now and they sell shelves. More face pulling and huffing. Stalemate atm! Annoying thing is when he puts his mind to it he's quite good at DIY. I'll keep you informed if I get my shelves ladies smile

dragonfly46 Fri 22-May-20 10:05:54

I learnt years ago to never ask my DH to do a job but to discuss it first and make it seem like his idea. Works a treat!

libra10 Fri 22-May-20 10:09:54

If he is anything like my husband, I wouldn't be too optimistic grannyrebel7. We moved into our home over 40 years ago, and I asked my husband to fit a couple of shelves in the airing cupboard.

I'm still waiting!

DanniRae Fri 22-May-20 10:11:53

I always say, when I want Mr R to do something, "If you have the time can you .............?"
He never sees the irony that he is sitting playing a card game on his tablet at the time. And it always works! grin

paddyanne Fri 22-May-20 10:13:41

would you be happy if he came up with wee "projects" for you to do?

Teetime Fri 22-May-20 10:14:32

If I want DH to do something I have to start off very gently with some subtle hints, not go on about it, leave for a few days before hinting a bit harder, let it fester in his head and behold he has had an idea!

Pantglas2 Fri 22-May-20 10:17:00

I always used to suggest getting my dad to do whatever when DH didn’t fancy doing a job that I couldn’t. He soon got on with it - his pride wouldn’t let him stand and watch!

Luckygirl Fri 22-May-20 10:35:31

I would set to and do it yourself - shelves are not men's work - anyone can do it - even us weak females!

grannypiper Fri 22-May-20 10:49:01

My Dh is great he can fix or make anything, he is the first stop if anyone needs anything doing, he will do anything for anyone except me ! I am waiting on the carpets being fitted, fitted wardrobes being built, the walls painted and a thousand and one other things to be done. Everytime i suggest either i make a start or offer to find someone else to do it he promises me it is on his list. At this very moment he has commandeered the oven to use for baking a paint onto a motorbike part.

Coolgran65 Fri 22-May-20 10:54:59

Teetime exactly..... Sow the seeds. One at a time. Then dh has an idea 💡💡.

MawB Fri 22-May-20 11:30:05

I’m with Paddyanne! Does he need “wee projects” of your devising? It’s his bedroom too so did you discuss the idea of shelves or does he leave that sort of thing to you?
I have never experienced this demarcation of boys’ jobs and girls’ jobs - unlike Teresa and Philip May.
My father loathed and avoided anything even faintly resembling DIY,
Dad had a theory that if everybody did everything themselves, skilled tradesmen like carpenters, painters and decorators and jobbing builders would end up going out of business.
They also had a neighbour who effectively wrecked an otherwise lovely stone cottage by years of crack-handed bodging., which he reckoned more than proved his point.
Paw likewise (initially early in our marriage when money was tight,) would put up DIY wardrobes under sufferance but latterly a Billy bookcase from IKEA was his limit.
And why not? It’s like assuming I can or want to turn collars, turn sheets sides to middle or am the only person who can be let loose in the kitchen!

MawB Fri 22-May-20 11:31:41

Predictive text has clearly never heard the expression cack-handed (not “crack”)

Pantglas2 Fri 22-May-20 11:33:10

Actually MawB that would be good to describe someone handy! As in crack shot in shooting!

Rufus2 Fri 22-May-20 11:37:53

You could set to and do it yourself - shelves are not men's work - anyone can do it
Luckygirl
^Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months.
You can't rush an artist. grin
Good Health.

merlotgran Fri 22-May-20 11:40:46

I'm very lucky. All I have to do is hint and it's as good as done but that can sometimes have a downside.

Never a good idea to mutter that there's a new toilet roll holder that needs putting up just as visitors have arrived after a long drive. grin

GagaJo Fri 22-May-20 11:44:58

Genuine conversation

My bloke: “You’re too independent. Why do you never ask me for help?”

Me: “OK. Can you help me with XXX?”

My bloke: “Not right now. Maybe next week.”

Hithere Fri 22-May-20 11:45:52

Another vote for paddyanne

Women and people can choose not to be devious and manipulative. It is not a good quality

ninathenana Fri 22-May-20 11:55:37

Seems I'm very lucky.
If I ask Himself to do some DIY I have to emphasise that I don't expect it done today. He loves nothing better than a project and most times things are completed within a week.
He is currently converting some ugly wall cupboards (think dark kitchen style) that were in DD's bedroom when she moved in into two bedside cabinets.

Pantglas2 Fri 22-May-20 11:59:43

Your comment made me smile Paddyanne....DH buys to many bananas and carrots and when they’ve gone past their best he expects the cake fairy 🧚‍♀️ to get busy!

It’s an amusing little game isn’t Hither?

Nightsky2 Fri 22-May-20 12:05:14

My DH wouldn’t have a clue but he is a very good cook. I know which side my bread is buttered on!

PamelaJ1 Fri 22-May-20 12:24:44

I am extremely lucky that my DH has a carpentry qualification and in a previous life his training included a bit of plumbing, dry stone walling and almost everything else that I can think of.
This morning this is what we did. I helped of course, I always do. I’m given the easy bit and sometimes have to receive extra instructions because I occasionally forget how to read the ones that come with the product.
Now my salon is ready , with its new blind, to go back to work.

Oopsadaisy3 Fri 22-May-20 12:31:58

I’ve done most of the DIY myself for the last 50 odd years, DH has now (Almost) retired and suddenly I’m not allowed to even lift the hammer.
What’s that all about? I could get on and do stuff, while he’s thinking about what to buy to do it ( I don’t throw much away, it’s all in the shed)
apparently now he’s home it’s his job, if he thinks I’m going to be stuck indoors dusting and making cakes all day he’s got a shock coming.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 22-May-20 12:39:31

I thought all old wives knew that when a man, whether your husband, brother, etc. etc. says he will do something, the next question we should ask is, "When?"

We have his and her jobs. I am quite hopeless at anything involving nails, saws, hammers and screws.

On the other hand I clean, wash and iron and usually do the baking.

Grammaretto Fri 22-May-20 13:01:36

You are all extremely lucky. I don't know why I looked at this thread.
We are both rubbish at DIY so unless I get someone in, things wait for years.
Currently we have a broken kitchen cutlery drawer, which is sitting out on the surface leaving little space anything else

I am just so glad we had the roof fixed before lockdown.

But I can appreciate the stresses and strains of being together all the time.

BlueSky Fri 22-May-20 13:04:26

Love the guy (DH of one of our Netters) who replied to the question "When?" with "I don't like planning!" I've quoted it to my own DH who know replies the same! grin