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Ding Dong Bell

(46 Posts)
Rufus2 Mon 01-Jun-20 06:51:24

What better time to re-visit GreatNan's Jokes? grin

Church Bells
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

Doodle Mon 01-Jun-20 19:37:28

[gin] she was indeed greatnan

rafichagran Mon 01-Jun-20 19:39:52

I enjoyed that post Rufus, it made me laugh after a hard days work.

Jomarie Mon 01-Jun-20 21:56:15

Thank you Rufus - I enjoyed that !! grin

Furret Mon 01-Jun-20 22:38:58

Bloody hell! I’ve have enough of repeats on TV do we have to have it on here too?

Chewbacca Mon 01-Jun-20 23:03:50

That was just plain rude furret.

I hadn't heard that joke before so thanks for sharing Rufus smile

Furret Mon 01-Jun-20 23:10:10

Sorry Rufus but why are you reposting GreatNan’s jokes? Seems a bit.....odd.

Marthjolly1 Mon 01-Jun-20 23:23:02

It was the fire engine the first time I heard it.

Squiffy Mon 01-Jun-20 23:44:23

Furret I’m sure there will be GNetters who haven’t seen the jokes before and appreciate Rufus reposting them!

fatgran57 Tue 02-Jun-20 01:42:44

Furret what's the matter with you - nasty and unnecessary comments. Don't read the posts and you will have nothing to b***h about. The rest of us enjoyed the laugh grin

Furret Tue 02-Jun-20 07:42:11

I have apologised. And there are reasons I’m questioning the source of the jokes which many of you don’t understand.

Witzend Tue 02-Jun-20 08:58:38

Well, I’d never heard that one before, so thank you, Rufus2.

LadyGracie Tue 02-Jun-20 09:02:48

I’ve heard it before, but it still made me chuckle, the old ones are the best !

gillybob Tue 02-Jun-20 09:06:33

I love a good joke but didn’t particularly like GreatNan .

She once threatened to report my DIL to the tax authorities when I said she was helping at a stable in return for stabling her own horse there . Of course she didn’t know me or my DiL but it still really upset me.

Jane10 Tue 02-Jun-20 09:55:18

I'd not heard the joke before and will try to remember it to tell it to DH tonight.
I see your point though Gillybob. Not nice to make such threats.

gillybob Tue 02-Jun-20 12:01:48

Yes she really upset me at the time Jane10 and I considered leaving GN because if it . Looking back I know she couldn’t have traced my DiL but it did worry me for a while.

Sorry to put a downer on things ..... back to the jokes grin

Rufus2 Tue 02-Jun-20 12:48:38

and there are reasons I’m questioning the source of the jokes which many of you don’t understand
Furret Good Evening! Not sure we've met before, but welcomesmile Your comment is a bit of a puzzle in that are we supposed to know , without you telling us, what reasons make you question the source or are you saying that many of us don't understand her jokes?
The source is GreatNan's marvellous legacy of jokes following her tragic death in 2013 and can be found in GN archives. She freely admitted to plagiarism followed by cutting and pasting.
You asked earlier as to why "we had to have it on here too"!
Quite simple! Good jokes are worth repeating and now would be a good time to lift spirits out of the trough of despair with a bit of a laugh, bearing in mind that we
have a number of new members who might have a sense of humour!
Imagine if you will, your OH, if you have one, comes to the breakfast table each day saying "Oh no! Not you again! How many more repeats do we have to have?" grin
Not very polite!

Jane10 Tue 02-Jun-20 12:59:21

Och Rufus2 ignore her. She's probably having a bad day. Most of us enjoy these jokes and didn't have the chance to hear them before.

Oopsadaisy3 Tue 02-Jun-20 13:29:44

I’ve got a joke for you Rufus. But it isn’t about Grans specifically and is fairly old , however....
A very handsome italian man drives along the winding country lanes of Italy and spies an elderly lady sitting by the road side with an aged cow, he stops his very expensive Ferrari and asks her if she is alright, she replies that she is fine, but she enjoys the old country ways and often sits and chats to her old cow.
The man has heard of the old country ways and asks her if she has a special way of telling the time, she replies that she does. She carefully holds the cows full udders in her hands and moves them to the left , then to the right - it’s 5 o’clock she says. The man is thrilled , the old country ways work, his expensive watch confirms the time and he drives off happy.
After a little while the old lady gently lifts the cows udders again, as she peers around them she can see the clock on the old church In the village , 5.30 she says, time to go home........

Furret Tue 02-Jun-20 13:36:08

Yes I am having a bad day (week) and I have appologise but some just like to stick the knife in a d others like to twist it.

Squiffy Tue 02-Jun-20 13:40:49

Hope your day improves Furret flowers

Squiffy Tue 02-Jun-20 13:41:45

Rufus keep 'em coming, we haven't all heard them before!

B9exchange Tue 02-Jun-20 13:54:11

It is an old joke, but in the version I heard, it was the fire engine going past! grin

Furret Tue 02-Jun-20 13:59:29

Thanks squiffy

Rufus2 Tue 02-Jun-20 15:29:24

and is fairly old ,however
Oopsadaisy Dear oh dear! That is old and comes from an udder time! Any contributions gratefully received!grin
Btw. You may possibly read in another thread that I've just had another bout of BPPV. Fortunately it's cleared up for now. Same as before; thought you'd like to know!