joke

I enjoyed that story Rufus. It reminded me of when I was in Canada and was told to wear a bell if I was in the woods.

I never did wear a bell and now I realise that it may have sounded like a dinner gong to a Grizzly.

Love it! Thanks Rufus

Thanks for the smile time Rufus2 ?

A young man sees an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at the local fast food restaurant. He notices that they have ordered only one meal, and an extra drink cup.
As he watches, the gentleman carefully divides the hamburger in half, counts out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each has half of them. Then he pours half of the soft drink into the extra cup and sets it down in front of his wife.
The old man then starts to eat, while his wife sits watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man, feeling moved, decides to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so they don’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman says, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”
The young man then asks the wife if she was going to eat her half, to which she replies, “Oh, yes… but it’s his turn with the teeth.”

OoRoo

After an examination the doctor asks a mature married woman if she has any medical concerns. "Yes",she replied,"After sex with my husband I am usually cold and chilly,and after the second time I am hot and sweaty".
Later, after examining her husband,the doctor asks if he has any medical concerns and he replies "No".
The doctor then says,"Your wife has an unusual problem,she says that after having sex with you for the first time she is cold and chilly,and then hot and sweaty after the second time."
"Oh,that's easy".replied the man,"The first time is usually in January and the second time is in August".

Keep us laughing Rufus

Thanks for the chuckles Rufus!

Milkman knocks on the door to collect payment for deliveries "I haven't any money but would pay you in bed upstairs, if you like" says the lady of the house. The Milkman agrees and they go upstairs and she takes of all her clothes and lies on the bed. The Milkman says "Cor you are really dirty all over ". "I know" says the lady, " I've just paid the Coalman"

Thanks Rufus, a Monday morning chuckle

State Of The Art Watch
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?" she asked.
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." he said.
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

Cheeky. ?

Rufus you are a breath of fresh air! Keep us laughing.

Husband sitting in armchair shouts to wife "when I die I am going to leave everything to you love" wife shouts back "you already do you lazy bastard"

What Is Politics?
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep s**t.