Gransnet forums

Chat

Dilemma!

(96 Posts)
grannyrebel7 Sun 28-Jun-20 20:04:49

We looked after my sister's dog for 3 months while she recovered from a broken arm. She's ok now and the dog has gone back. This afternoon she turned up with 3 shrubs as a thank you present. We don't have room for them in our garden and DH is very particular about what gets planted in the garden. Apparently they grow to 400cms high and 250 wide. He now wants me to tell her we don't want them. However I don't want to hurt her feelings. What can I do? I thought of buying some huge pots and having them in the front garden, but it says on the labels they should be planted in the ground. I don't know how to solve this blush

Sussexborn Sun 28-Jun-20 20:17:54

Donate them to the local hospice or similar then thank your sister and, if she visits regularly, explain why they weren’t suitable.

J52 Sun 28-Jun-20 20:17:57

I plant all sorts in pots, including eucalyptus. Restricting the roots tends to Bonsai them. Give it a go, you can always prune them to size. What shrubs are they?

B9exchange Sun 28-Jun-20 21:07:54

I think Sussexborn's idea is brilliant. Thank your sister effusively for the plants, tell her you love them, but sadly don't have the room for them to settle in and spread, however it would make you really happy if you could give them to the local hospice so that many more people could enjoy them?

BlueBelle Sun 28-Jun-20 21:32:12

Definitely in big planters my friends got a tree in a big planter

It would be very unkind to give them away Whether to a charity or not she bought them for YOU i d be very hurt if I’d bought someone something I sought out especially for them to say thank you and had it given away

Susan56 Sun 28-Jun-20 21:33:00

Agree with BlueBelle

polyester57 Sun 28-Jun-20 21:38:30

I was interested in the answers to this, as at the weekend we attended the birthday party of an elderly relative (we don´t live in the UK and are out of lockdown here). She was gifted several houseplants, one of them an orchid, we drove her home and she worried all the time about what she would do with them, she lives on her own, spends extended periods at her son´s and the whole summer abroad. I do wish that people would think before making a gift of a living thing, animals go without saying, but also plants.

grannyrebel7 Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:10

Thanks for your replies. They're a cametlia and two pieris.

MellowYellow Sun 28-Jun-20 22:34:07

Both those types of plants can be grown in pots.

Grammaretto Sun 28-Jun-20 23:06:01

Yes you can grow them in pots and if they don't do so well, you can always offer them back to her if she has green fingers. We often buy others things we would like ourselves.
I was going to suggest keeping at least one.
I love getting surprise gifts although I suppose I have been known to donate them to a raffle or a charity shop if I think the donor will never know or I really can't think when I will ever use the thing.

annep1 Sun 28-Jun-20 23:24:53

Agree with Bluebelle.

mumofmadboys Mon 29-Jun-20 08:14:34

Definitely keep and put in pots if necessary. Dont risk upsetting your DS. It is not worth it!

Nortsat Mon 29-Jun-20 08:16:20

Can’t your husband compromise a bit. Does he understand how awkward this is for you?
Don’t you have a say about what goes in the garden?

Surely there’s a solution that you and your husband can find together? Can the shrubs be planted and pruned back to prevent them growing too large?

I would be hurt if I did something that I thought was nice to thank my sister and she handed back my gifts.

annep1 Mon 29-Jun-20 08:43:48

He now wants me to tell her we don't want them.

I don't think I would react very nicely to being told this. He doesn't sound very considerate of your feelings.

Calendargirl Mon 29-Jun-20 09:06:35

It’s difficult when we are given something that isn’t quite suitable. You will have to buy three big pots from the sound of it, so the gift ends up costing you extra.

However, I do think that it is hurtful if you were to tell your sister that her present is unwanted, for whatever reason, and then just give it away, no matter where to.

If it were me, I would buy the pots and give them a go in the front garden. If they don’t survive, you’ll still have the containers to re-use, and you’ll have done your best.

NotSpaghetti Mon 29-Jun-20 09:40:53

Camaelias are ok in pots. My daughter's is about 9 years old now. It's really quite lovely and not very big.

Scottiebear Mon 29-Jun-20 09:43:47

How about keeping one and giving the other 2 away. That way you can enthuse and show her the one you have planted/potted.

Gelisajams Mon 29-Jun-20 10:04:57

No problem keeping them in pots, they take years to reach full size even in the ground. Just remember to water them regularly.

Dareyouto Mon 29-Jun-20 10:08:05

Pieris and camellia are lovely plants that do really well if planted in pots of ericacious soil. I would love it if somebody went out of their way to give me either of those more expensive plants.
I definitely would not be tellI guess the giver they were unwanted.
So glad I chose to live alone and don’t have to take any notice of any ungrateful other half!

Dareyouto Mon 29-Jun-20 10:08:50

Tell the giver

annifrance Mon 29-Jun-20 10:09:37

First dilemma is your husband. How very mean spirited he is being and inconsiderate to you. He therefore deserves no consideration.

Second dilemma, solved. Put them in pots and enjoy them. Then tell husband to get over himself.

justanovice Mon 29-Jun-20 10:13:03

These shrubs grow very well in pots because you can give them the conditions they prefer and the pieris in particular will give you all year round interest.

GrannyO Mon 29-Jun-20 10:17:37

Plant in pots, then if they die there's nothing more to say but but " sorry, they didn't survive "

Sue500 Mon 29-Jun-20 10:26:31

Just tell her the truth, they’re too big for your garden, but you’ll try them in pots and hopefully they will survive. If you don’t she may buy you more in the future. I’d feel miffed that a present was now going to cost me the price of three large pots. Not to mention why you have to tell her and not your husband.

kwest Mon 29-Jun-20 10:46:56

Go for the pots. If they die they die but at least you tried.